(Closed) Save the date sent – but now he doesnt want to invite people?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2453 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

you send a save the date to someone to give them notice to make a note on their calendars for your wedding day. you then send them an invite for that date you asked them to set aside. I agree with you – sending someone a save the date and then not inviting them is pretty rude. for all you know, they cancelled whatever they had going on then (yeah some people do plan a year ahead) for your wedding and now they don’t get an invite?

Post # 4
Member
712 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You’re right, you can’t not send an invitation to someone who got a save the date.  Not sure how to make him understand this though!

Post # 6
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

hmm… does he listen to his mother? Maybe you can get her, or any siblings he might have, to try to help talk some sense into him!!!  Foot in Mouth

Post # 7
Member
2453 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@mags2233:  one way you could try is to ask him how he would feel if he got a save the date and then never got the invite? or how he would feel if someone invited him for a party and then changed their mind and said he can’t come?

exactly.

Post # 9
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

this happened to us, but luckily I’m the one that is the primary friend to these people so I know better and we are sucking it up and inviting them and hope they don’t come (beefs have come up since the save the dates went out)

Post # 10
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

The only thing you can do without being rude is hope they RSVP no. However, only you and your Fiance can decide if you are willing to be rude. If you are willing, go ahead and don’t invite them (just be prepared for a potential fallout). 

Post # 11
Member
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I agree with MsPoodles- there’s a potential fallout with friendships if you do this. Unless there were extreme circumstances (someone lost a job, etc.), I would be really pi$$ed if someone did this to us.

Post # 12
Member
2453 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@mags2233:  actually, I should modify my last example.

Ask your Fiance how he would feel if someone told him about a party on a certain day … and then decided not to invite him? 😛

Post # 13
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think it’s very poor form to do this. I had a coworker do this, and people are still talking about it 2 years later…

Post # 14
Member
7960 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@mags2233:  i think you need to invite everyone who received a std.  it would be rude not to.

Post # 15
Member
412 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I am curious…did he say why he doesn’t want those people in anymore?

IF there are issues among those people, maybe they don’t want to come anymore.  Then I think it’s okay to uninvite them.

But if your Fiance just change his mind about guest list for no particular reason, then I think you guys have no choice but to invite them. 

Post # 16
Member
1342 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Just tell him the save-the-date was a pre-invitation and maybe explain that people may have already made arrangements to miss work, travel, etc.

The topic ‘Save the date sent – but now he doesnt want to invite people?’ is closed to new replies.

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