(Closed) Save the Date – SOOOO DISAPPOINTED!!! :(

posted 7 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 32
Member
832 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

OMG now I’m wondering whether I should write “THIS IS NOT THE FORMAL INVITATION” in big bold letters on the front of my soon to be sent Save-The-Date Cards:S

Post # 33
Member
6116 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

“This is just for you to save the date on your calendar, a formal invitation will follow, but yes it means you are invited to the wedding.  Details to come!”

 

Post # 34
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@elliptical2013:  My older family members had no idea what STD’s were. We got the same thing “did you forget to put the location? Where do we show up at? There’s no time? How do I RSVP?” …. The younger family got it but I expected it to end up that way anyway LOL. We even included a little note at the bottom “More details to come soon”, further proof that everyone now skims text rather than reading it (happens to me all the time at work)… 

Post # 36
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I loved our Save-The-Date Cards, I used it as an excuse to have engagement photos taken on our motorcycles. They were our “less formal” mailing that we had fun with, and then the invite was more serious. We also had guests coming from two other countries, so this allowed them to get their international travel situations settled with plenty of time (passport renewals, etc.)

Post # 37
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I wouldn’t feel bad about it – it is such a cute idea, we are doing them.  If guests are confused, then I will just explain.  Good luck 🙂

Post # 38
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Oh my god, I have the same problem!!! I just sent my Save The Dates (I hate using Save-The-Date Cards as an abbreviation LOL), and of the responses I got so far, it seemed most of them said “Thanks for the Invitation” and I was like, “That’s only the Save The Date, not the invitation!” And one of my aunts who thought it was the invitation, already declined, but I had to thoroughly explain to her the purpose of the Save the Date, and she asked if this was a new thing, because they didnt’ do this in her generation, and she’s been married at least 3 times.

Post # 39
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

But also, I’d like to note, in my family, whoever has gotten married has always had a small wedding where only immediate family and people who lived nearby attended, very few people came out of town for these weddings. Especially because people in my family have divorced and remarried multiple times, so out of town family wouldn’t see the significance of attending these weddings. And also, I am the first of my generation in my family to get married (Maybe the only one lol Getting married for my FI’s sake, not mine)

Post # 40
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

View original reply
@canarydiamond:  And also, there is the “Engagment Announcements” which is a separate thing from the Save the Dates which is separate from the Invitations. I think it is an exploitation of this new wedding market by the stationary industry. Because my Aunt (who is in her 40s) never heard of these things before when she thought my Save the DAte was the invitation.

Post # 41
Member
9950 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

Save-The-Date Cards can and do cause confusion… because they are a relatively NEW thing for the Wedding Stationery Industry.  The Stationery Industry being a BIG Part of most Weddings, and where a good chunk of one’s Wedding Budget goes (Invitation Suite – Shower Invites – Thank You Notes etc)

Save-The-Date Cards for the record are NOT A MUST DO… Infact in many cases they cause a lot more confusion / DRAMA than they are worth IMO… particularly so if a Bride / Couple has not worked thru all the required elements that are key to planning a Wedding… Date – Venue – Budget – Guest List **

Save-The-Date Cards have pretty much taken over the “Engagement Announcement” role (where the Bride OR the Couple had their Photo printed in the local Newspaper on the Social Pages) that was in place for 100s of years… they’ve only truly been around for the last 10 years or so…

Hence the confusion !!

Don’t blame your Guests… blame the “Wedding Industry” for finding a new way to make money off of Brides / Couples

Personally… I am not a fan of Save-The-Date Cards cause of all that issues that come up with them… altho for sure I think they are uber-cute… and that is WHY they are sooo popular

Hope this helps,

** A STD is basically an “Annoncement”… or an “Info Flyer” it is NOT an Invitation.  However, it is considered bad form to send someone the Announcement and not invite them to the actual Wedding.  This is the “conflict” that is found within them… in so much as sometimes a couple just wants to announce their news without having first worked thru all the technicalities in regards to Date – Venue – Budget – and Guest List.  So ya it SUCKS to get an STD from someone, and yet never in the future get an Invite once all these details have been worked out.

My Best Advice… is send Save-The-Date Cards out ONLY to immediate Family Members who you know will be invited… OR opt to go the “traditional etiquette” route and have a Photo Shoot done and then choose a picture for your local Newspaper’s Social Page.

 

Post # 42
Member
719 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre

@elliptical2013:  I have people calling them invitations, but I just kind of ignore that. we have a website on our Save-The-Date Cards, so if anyone goes on there and tries to RSVP, it says “invitations will be sent out closer to the date” and there’s no real place to RSVP. but for the most part, everyone was good. i’ve explained it that we have a lot of out-of-town guests that need more of a heads-up than the typical three-four month invitation timeframe (flights, vacation time), and that invitations will be sent out so that we can get an actual count of people closer to the date when people will know *for sure* that they can come (and not just hoping and then never thinking about it again). 

Post # 43
Member
719 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre

View original reply
@canarydiamond:  but it completely makes sense if you have a lot of working/busy people in your lives who have to plan vacation/conference attendance/summer plans ahead of time, or if they’re out-of-town and will need to book hotel and travel before you know the exact time of the ceremony (which would need to be printed on an invitation). it’s not a ridiculous ‘cash grab’ – they’re not neccessary for everyone, but certainly worth the money for some. and engagement photos give the couple an opportunity to get to know the photographer before the day – you do trial runs for hair and makeup, why not photography?

Post # 44
Member
8482 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’m guilty of this. I had never heard of them until I got on the bee, so when I first heard people talking about them, I didnt understand why people sent out two invitations.

Post # 45
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Wow really, I thought everyone knew because it says right on it SAVE THE DATE

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