(Closed) Save the Date/Invitation Issue

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Oh boy, that’s an awkward situation. If it were me, I would just ignore the girl even though you sent her a STD, and invite the guy only (with a +1) because: your Fiance was friends with the guy first, and the girl sounds like a dirtbag because she cheated, so that’s not someone I would want to keep around. 

Post # 4
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Oh and welcome!

Post # 5
Member
4325 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would have your Fiance reach out to the guy, assuming they’re still close friends, and see how he feels about attending the wedding and her being there. If he’s okay with it, invite both. If he doesn’t think he can handle it, but would like to attend, invite him (maybe with a date – a recent breakup can hurt at a wedding, I’m sure).

Typical etiquette requires sending an invite to those who receive an STD, but typical relationship rules require not cheating, so… if he’s not comfortable with her being there and you want him there, she’ll have to deal with no invitation as one of the consequences of her decision to cheat.

 

 

Post # 6
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Ohhh, awkward.  Is there a good possibility she won’t attend?  I know you can’t completely “count” on that, but just asking considering she cheated…does she really want to show her face alone knowing he may be there too (I presume you’re not giving her a +1?)?  I would still invite the other guy if you intended to invite him in the first place.  Maybe give him a +1 if you have room.

Either way, they’re adults so they should know if they can/want to come and handle themselves as adults otherwise one or both will likely decline if they feel it will be really uncomfortable.

Other option, like pp said, would be to just not send her an invite. However, I wouldn’t be able to not send an invite to someone I sent a save the date to.  I had a couple I wished I would’ve have invited (due to space) but felt I had to b/c I sent them a save the date.  Well, they accepted and then no-showed, so actually… maybe you can just not invite her! πŸ˜‰

Post # 7
Member
3755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

“Typical etiquette requires sending an invite to those who receive an STD, but typical relationship rules require not cheating, so…” hahaha!!! Love this.

It might be rude to not send the invite to the girl, but I would invite the guy with a +1 only and not bother with her. Since she’s not going to know anyone else there it would be really awkward if she did decide to show up anyway, right? You can’t bank on her declining the invite so if you don’t want awkwardness for your friend, I say don’t invite her. 


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