Save the dates

posted 4 months ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
4817 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I think it is too soon, there is really no need to send them now and people will probably forget anyway.  A year and a half away is too early to make travel plans or book hotels usually so I would wait until a year if it is a destination location or 9 months if it is local. 

Post # 3
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

People always get very excited when an engagement happens and immediately want to know all the details. For example, when I got engaged, I had been engaged literally 8 days and family was asking me if I had a date and venue set. Why on earth they thought I would have those things set within one week is beyond me!

I agree with PP that its definitely too soon to send them out. I would not send them out more than a year in advance. People will continue to ask you when it is and its fine to just tell them and send your save the date later on.

Post # 4
Member
4109 posts
Honey bee

There are so many things that can change between now and September 2020.  Hell, you could have two children (not twins) between now and then theoretically.  Your budget, your relationships with people on the guest list, your life plans in general, etc.  All could dramatically change.  Remember that a save the date is the promise of an invitation so you are locked in once you do that. 

There is no need to give this much advanced notice.  People taking an interest in the new and exciting plans in your life is not a call to rush out and send your save the dates early.  It’s just called making conversation.  If the new interesting thing in your life was training for a marathon, people would be asking you when you plan to run your first marathon.

Post # 5
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Our save the dates went out 6 months before the wedding. We too had many people asking us when the wedding is so that they can start planning. They’re excited and so are we! Even now as we are more than 3 months away people are inquiring even more. I don’t feel like I need to send out invites earlier, I just give them the details they want and move on. 

Post # 6
Member
5963 posts
Bee Keeper

I think 6 – 12months is fine. Any more than a year is overkill. If people ask and you’ve already booked your venue, by all means tell them by word of mouth. But its soooo unlikely people are going to remember something 20 months out. 

Post # 7
Member
454 posts
Helper bee

i think its way too soon.  A lot of people are probably asking as a conversation starter or are just generally curious.  I would not be sending those out yet.  You’d have people completely forget about the wedding then.

Post # 8
Member
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: London, UK

In the UK save the dates seem to go out (at least amongst my circle and my circle’s circles) once the wedding is booked. In my mind that is the whole point of the save the date. Formal invitations go out about 6 months before the wedding. I get the impression in the States things happen a lot later. I even read that formal invitations only go out 8-12 weeks in advance?! I don’t know anyone who that would work for over here (especially if there was no save the date), as me and my friends and family always get our diaries booked up months and months in advance. Plus for some jobs you realistically need a fair while to request annual leave (such as for my partner who is in the emergency services). I’ve gone off on a tangent here, but I’m sure you can see what I mean!

Post # 9
Member
320 posts
Helper bee

princessmiaofgenovia :  totally agree with you. I believe a save the date is just that …you send it once you’ve booked the venue but have no more information as yet, so you’re letting your guests know you have a date. 

The invitations I believe are for when you have more information (a start time, transport details, accommodation etc etc). 

At least that’s how my circle have done it in the UK. I have never received an invite only 3 months out. Most the invitations I’ve received have been about a year out. I’ve received a save the date for an August 2021 wedding already!! 

Saying people will forget I think is rubbish. Ok, I might need to double check the exact date but there is no way a wedding of a close family member or friend will just get completely forgotten…and if it does, maybe I’m not as close to that friend as I thought and maybe I shouldn’t be going to their wedding. 

Post # 10
Member
2307 posts
Buzzing bee

Both times I have received Save the Dates over a year in advance, I magically never received an invitation when the time came.  

Plans change and friends change in that amount of time.

 

Post # 11
Member
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: London, UK

worriedbeehere11 :  Yep yep yep totally agree!! When I get a save the date (verbal, posted, email, FB invite for ANY occasion) I just put it straight into my diary, so even if I forget about it for a while I’m not going to double book it. If I got an invitation for something 3 weeks beforehand I am probably not going to be free.

Post # 12
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

We waited to send our save the dates until we had our venue booked which was about 7 months out. People were constantly asking us the date so they could make arrangements before we sent it. And then afterwards people began asking about where to stay. For us it’s been a bit stressful with all the questions but I get people are excited and want to make their plans. We have a lot of people traveling from out of town to come so that I think is part of the reason. More than a year out seems like too far but I think the main deciding factore should be if you have your venue booked – meaning signed contract. If you don’t I would definitely hold off. 

Post # 13
Member
354 posts
Helper bee

I would tell people verbally but send Save-The-Date Cards 9 months-1 year out. 

Post # 14
Member
2356 posts
Buzzing bee

I think it’s a bit soon.  I usually see Save the Dates go out around 12 – 18 months in advance if it’s a destination wedding or the wedding date is a holiday weekend.  Otherwise, usually around 6 months.

Post # 15
Member
1062 posts
Bumble bee

   I am sending our std’s   1yr out. More of an engagement notice/std for people that live on other side of the country.

They want to save money, book time. A STD lets them know it’s firm enough that they can plan, too.  But we have or venue and most things deposited/paid.  

But my fh is inviting everyone word of mouth anyhow. Lol. 

I’ve posted on social media with a link to our website.  Our closest few were told in-person. 

The std’s have the website,  too. 

I will send out  formal.invites in Jan 2020 fir our June 2020 wedding . 

 

If I had to travel I would need 6 months to make a wedding. So I am going by that standard.  

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