(Closed) Who Gets Save the Dates?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t know if there is a hard and fast ettiquite rule on STD’s, but I have a similar plan to you.  I’m definitely sending them to Out of Town guests, but if it comes down to having to order an additional 25 for only 1 or 5 people, then those 1 or 5 probably won’t get a STD. 

Post # 4
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I am sending one to every guest. We are having our wedding over the July 31 long weekend so I don’t want anyone to make big travel plans before they know we’re getting married then. 

I don’t think it’s necessary to send them to non Out of Town guests for you. As long as you’re giving a good rsvp time with the invitations then you’re set!

Post # 5
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I sent an STD to anyone who was receiving an invite. You do have the option you spoke of which is sending through email / website. We did all paper, but before they even received it in the mail, people had already known about it an was waiting for them.

Some actually thought, that was the invite. lol

Post # 7
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

@PrncssDva – My bad… When I saw the word online I imagined it would have been an e-vite or website kind of thing. I now know exactly what you are talking about . Thanks for the clarification.

Are you planning on sending one invite per household or multiple invites per household? You can get away with sending less Save-The-Date Cards if you do one per household. I actually did this so that I didn’t have too many. I know it isn’t the “proper” etiquette but it was what I did. So instead of sending 200 + invites and Save-The-Date Cards for 290 guests I only had to send out 120.

Post # 8
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m sending one to everyone whom I plan on sending an invite. Knowing my family/circle of friends, it would be talked about and if someone didn’t get one, I think they’d be hurt and probably worried they wouldn’t be invited. 

Post # 9
Member
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We planned on sending them to select people aka the people we really care about and then the people that FIs parents added (as in the additional 24 peeps) werent going to get one BUT then we had more than enough Save-The-Date Cards so we decided there was no reason for them not to!

Post # 10
Member
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m planning on sending one to everyone who is getting an invite. Mainly because I know that there are going to be “issues” about our 18+ guest list. I figure this way, I plant the seed that, no, little Johnny is not invited. Then they have 8 months to complain, come to terms with it, and get a babysitter.

Post # 11
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m sending a STD to everyone I’m inviting. Its in the middle of the summer on a Tuesday, so i think it requires one! that way people can plan on coming and maybe making a mini vacation. its not a lot of people who will be traveling far, but the ones who have to travel, are pretty important, so hopefully that will give them enough time to plan to come here.

Post # 12
Member
2404 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

yep, i’m also sending them to everyone who is receiving an invite.

Post # 13
Member
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We sent one to all who were invited, but that’s because 80% of the guests are Out of Town & because it’s a weekend in June (lots of plans to preemt: family vacay, other weddings, summer school, etc.).  But, before we cut the guest list down, we were considering just sending them out to the important peeps & the tiers of people connected to the important peeps (if one aunt got one, all aunts & uncles would get one) to avoid the whole “why am I not invited” drama…that could be one way to cut down your list of STD recipients. 

Post # 14
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

I sent them to everyone because the people that don’t get one will assume they haven’t been invited.

Post # 15
Member
494 posts
Helper bee

We are sending them to everybody but we are not having a big wedding. 50-75 people. Since you are having so many guests, I would just send them to the Out of Town guests and people  you think may need more advance notice.

Post # 16
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We are sending them to everyone who gets an invite because we are getting married Labor Day weekend and we want to make sure our guests don’t make other plans. If we weren’t getting married on a holiday weekend, I wouldn’t be sending save the dates at all.

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