(Closed) Save the Dates

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

I would suggest just Mr. Smith.  “And guest” doesn’t need to save the date until Mr. Smith invites her after getting the invitation with all the details 🙂

Post # 4
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I just sent out my Save The Dates not more than 20mn ago!!

Fiance has a few single / unmarried friends – for them we only adressed the Friend’s name on the STD. When we send out the formal invite we will include +1 or if they have a “live -in SO” or Fiance we will address it to both.

Post # 5
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I just addressed the save the date to the person/people directly invited, not their random plus ones who I may or may not know.

Post # 6
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

I was fully planning to write “John Smith & Guest” on my Save-The-Date Cards, but as I was typing them up, it looked funny to me! At the last second, I changed to just “John Smith”. BUT since a lot of our guests are out-of-town, I wanted them to be able to plan to bring a guest if one will be invited (book flights, etc) so I have a wedding website, where all the “Guests” are listed with their invitees.

Post # 7
Member
1606 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@chaz:  I did the second one. We are still refining the guest list and if we decide to not do a ‘+ 1’ we still have the option even after the save the dates were sent.

I figure they will have over 2 months to find a date once they get the invitation.

Post # 8
Member
3267 posts
Sugar bee

Save-The-Date Cards are meant to go only to your nearest and dearest.  Those people that you cannot get married without.

Something tells me that someone whose name you do not even know meets that criteria.

 

Also even when it comes time for invites, no one should be addressed as +1.  Each guest should be invited by name.

Post # 9
Member
1696 posts
Bumble bee

@chaz:  Is it too late to convince you not to send “Save-the-date” flyers?

The traditional etiquette-approved way of letting your closest friends and dearest family know that you have set your wedding date, is to send them little individual notes giving them the details. Since the notes are personalized, you can use natural English phrasing to say things like “We will also extend an invitation to your special friend if you are seeing someone; do let us know his name and address!” Thus you resolve two problems at once: you let your friend know to get her main squeeze to hold the date too; and you get the information you need to extend invitations to both of them politely.

I won’t even insist on hand-written notes: sending personalized individual emails is still more intimate and thoughtful than a mass-mailing. And it will still be enough work to limit you to only your nearest-and-dearest, which will prevent you from joining the sad ranks of Bees who sent out too many “save the date” notices before finalizing their budget and venue contract, and now have to play the cad and not invite friends who are faithfully declining other events on that weekend while they wait for an invitation that is never going to come.

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