(Closed) Save the Dates and Invitations… what's the difference?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1915 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

You send save the dates to guests if you are getting married at a busy time.  It allows people to save the date on their calendar, make travel arrangements, etc.  You send the invitation to find out whether or not people are able to attend.  If you send out your invitation six months in advance, it may take me a while to let you know that I’ll be able to attend for sure.  Some people will reply right away, but others will send them back to you intermittently, which may mean that you’ll be chasing people down for their response.

I don’t think both are necessary in every case, but both serve their purpose.

Post # 4
3322 posts
Sugar bee

An STD is a mass mailing, and an FYI. 

The invitation is actually the request to attend the event, that the guest responds.

You do not mail out invitations a year in advance, because people will lose them, not respond on time, or know their schedules, finances, family situations, babysitter situations etc.

It is also not polite to ask your guests to prioritize your event as it is polite to be modest, and not self serving.

STD’s are not a requirement, and actually not considered the most polite manners.  5/10 times they lead to problems based on the posts from other brides on this site. Lots can change between STD mail out dates and invitation dates.  If you do decide to go with them, I would encourage you to send them only to your absolute must haves.  The guests that you cannot envision getting married without in attendance.  Everyone else can wait until the invitation date which is supposed to be no earlier then 6-8 weeks before the event.


Post # 5
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@geekychinchilla:  I think the wedding blog/pinterest world has made Save The Dates more popular. People see cute ideas and want to do them. In the last 5 years I’ve gotten them for almost every wedding. Before that, I only received Save The Dates for Destination Weddings or wedding where I was an out of towner. Usually they would just say “Steve & Ofelia are getting married! 10/7/09 Loveville, Texas”. People often sent them before the details were even hashed out. They knew they’d get married at their home church and have a reception someplace close by. So the official invitation was sent later when the times and venues were in stone. 

Post # 7
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

The save the dates really are meant for out of town guests or if you are getting married somewhere far away so people can plan. We sent save the dates out to everyone even though almost everybody knew our wedding date. We did it because most of our family we don’t see or talk frequently even though they live close by so it was a courtesy for them. What I found really funny is people would come up to Fiance or I and say thanks we got your invitiation in response to our save the date, its actually been pretty comical. They can be a waste but it was a cute idea. 

Post # 8
1219 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We sent STDs as we had a very international wedding and knew that people would need time to organise their trip, save up, book time off work etc. We gave them a year to do that.

The advantage of the STD is that you don’t have to put information such as time of ceremony which you may not know a year in advance, it’s just a general warning to people that there’s a big event coming up.

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