Post # 1
My fiance and I are working on our guest list and planning for a weddng in the fall of 2018. Right now we are at about 215 guests, not including plus ones for about 10 single friends in our friend group.
I’m wondering how save the dates are usually addressed, and if that even matters. Our plan right now is to keep about 6 ‘plus one’ spots in our budget, but see as we get closer who is involved with someone, and then address their invitation to indicate they have a plus one. We aren’t going to use a requirement like ‘they need to have been dating for __ months to get a plus one,’ but also don’t want anyone bringing someone random or feeling awkward if they don’t have anyone to bring. If one of our friends has someone new in their life and fiance and/or I have even heard about the new person, they get a plus one. Like I said, these are all people in our friend group who will know about 20-30 other people there besides us, so they won’t be without people to sit and dance with.
So I guess my questions boils down to, did everyone have their final guest list created when they sent save the dates? Did you address the save the dates the same as you eventually addressed the invitations, ie to everyone invited?
Post # 2
- Wedding: March 2018 - The Venue, Barkisland, UK
We’ve just sent (most of, there’s a handful left to sort for various reasons) ours. For single friends, I just addressed the STD to them, and then give the plus-one option on the invite. If anybody asks me about it in the mean time, I’ll let them know that we’re planning to give them a plus one if they want to bring a guest.
Our final guest list is done, to be fair, with the exception of any relationships that change (and obviously not knowing the names of plus ones at this point). We didn’t actually write anything on our save the dates, just addressed the envelopes. What I tended to do was couples – name them individually, couples with one child all named on the envelope and if there were 2+ children I’d write “The Smith Family” on the envelope to save space. On the actual invites we’ll specifically name those invited to avoid any confusion 🙂
Post # 3
bear123 : It seems odd to have a guest list of 215 and only pick 4 friends to not receive a plus one.
Post # 4
zzar45 : I’m honestly hoping we won’t have that many plus ones, but leaving it in the budget. We are currently looking at $250 per head, so I would be happy to save even $1000 and use it towards something other than someone’s first Tinder date.
Post # 5
BeeDD : I did basically the same thing. Anyone who is single (or in a new relationahip) got a STD addressed just to them. We’ll figure out everyone’s relationship status when we’re sending invitations and address them properly at that time. I figure there’s a decent chance some early relationships will be broken up by then, and some other new ones will have started.
Post # 6
bear123 : If someone was living with their SO, I included that person’s name on the save the date address. If they were single or dating someone but not living with them, I just included the invitee’s name on the save the date address.
We put “and guest” on the actual invitation.
FWIW, I think everyone should get a plus one. We had a couple of people that brought someone random. It didn’t bother us. Everyone deserves to have a good time.
Post # 7
sparkosity : Thanks, glad to know I’m not the only one who is planning to do it this way. I think it’s completely reasonable to see where people are in relationships when we send the inviations in August of next year.
Post # 8
We already agreed upon no plus ones unless they are in a long term, serious relationship.
I do want or need someone’s flavor of the month at my wedding. The save the dates will be addressed to both individuals as a couple.
Post # 9
i sent Save-The-Date Cards to the people who were invited. we did not do +1’s unless you were in a relationship regarless of how long. and everyone was named. so our single friends were invited as just them.
if anyone’s status changed, between Save-The-Date Cards and invitation, we updated our invitation list and sent those out accordingly.
Post # 10
We didn’t do save the dates as we had a small wedding. But if we had have then we’d have sent them to the primary invitee as then put plus 1 on the actual invite. You won’t be making a etiquette faux pas and I’d be surprised if anyone felt obliged to bring a date! If you’re all close you could either tell them that or put Plus One (not obligatory!) on the invite. That keeps things light.
Post # 11
We had a few single guests, and we only mentioned their names on the Save the Date. When we sent out our wedding invitations, this is when we included a line about having a “plus one”. This allowed us to figure out everyone’s relationship status on a case by case basis closer to the wedding.