Save the dates and plus ones

posted 2 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
1254 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2018 - The Venue, Barkisland, UK

We’ve just sent (most of, there’s a handful left to sort for various reasons) ours. For single friends, I just addressed the STD to them, and then give the plus-one option on the invite. If anybody asks me about it in the mean time, I’ll let them know that we’re planning to give them a plus one if they want to bring a guest.

Our final guest list is done, to be fair, with the exception of any relationships that change (and obviously not knowing the names of plus ones at this point). We didn’t actually write anything on our save the dates, just addressed the envelopes. What I tended to do was couples – name them individually, couples with one child all named on the envelope and if there were 2+ children I’d write “The Smith Family” on the envelope to save space. On the actual invites we’ll specifically name those invited to avoid any confusion 🙂

Post # 3
5325 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

bear123 :  It seems odd to have a guest list of 215 and only pick 4 friends to not receive a plus one.

Post # 5
1450 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

BeeDD :  I did basically the same thing. Anyone who is single (or in a new relationahip) got a STD addressed just to them. We’ll figure out everyone’s relationship status when we’re sending invitations and address them properly at that time. I figure there’s a decent chance some early relationships will be broken up by then, and some other new ones will have started.

Post # 6
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

bear123 :  If someone was living with their SO, I included that person’s name on the save the date address. If they were single or dating someone but not living with them, I just included the invitee’s name on the save the date address.

We put “and guest” on the actual invitation.

FWIW, I think everyone should get a plus one. We had a couple of people that brought someone random. It didn’t bother us. Everyone deserves to have a good time.


Post # 8
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

We already agreed upon no plus ones unless they are in a long term, serious relationship.

I do want or need someone’s flavor of the month at my wedding. The save the dates will be addressed to both individuals as a couple. 

Post # 9
9152 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i sent Save-The-Date Cards to the people who were invited.  we did not do +1’s unless you were in a relationship regarless of how long. and everyone was named. so our single friends were invited  as just them.

if anyone’s status changed, between Save-The-Date Cards and invitation, we updated our invitation list and sent those out accordingly.


Post # 10
2595 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

We didn’t do save the dates as we had a small wedding. But if we had have then we’d have sent them to the primary invitee as then put plus 1 on the actual invite. You won’t be making a etiquette faux pas and I’d be surprised if anyone felt obliged to bring a date! If you’re all close you could either tell them that or put Plus One (not obligatory!) on the invite. That keeps things light.

Post # 11
2636 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

We had a few single guests, and we only mentioned their names on the Save the Date. When we sent out our wedding invitations, this is when we included a line about having a “plus one”. This allowed us to figure out everyone’s relationship status on a case by case basis closer to the wedding.

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