Post # 1
Save the dates where given out by my fiance to too many people, he wrote out this big list and gave all these out and now we are WAY over our COUNT. I am so frustrated because I DO NOT know what to DO.
I am paying for the reception and it is alot of money per person and one of hs family friends he told them they all could come and that is 7 people that is almost 1,000.00 dollars.
QUESTION: Can I send invitations just inviting people to the wedding and not the reception. It would be an invitation inviting people to share in our ceremony. Since some of these people have save the dates already. The only saving grace is our wedding is on a Sunday, so most people are off anyway and would not have to take off of work.
I can not afford all of these people.
I am so upset right about now, so much so that my wedding is in June and I still have not sent out all of the wedding invitations.
I don’t know what to do.
WHAT IS ETIQUETTE.
I am paying for the reception myself because my fiance’ does not have the money for that and it is already costing over $10,000.00 and I am pissed at this point. He keeps wanting to invite people. I am a nurse and he is currently working in a restaurant. HIS MOTHER has it in his head that the bride pays for everything. But my parents are deceased. And he and I both are grown Im 50 and he is 47.
Sometime, I feel like walking away.
Post # 3
I do not think you can invite people just to the ceremony and not to the dinner/celebration afterwards but where I’m from in the UK it is perfectly acceptable and, indeed, common to invite guests to the evening reception only (i.e. after the wedding breakfast, speeches, etc. for drinks, dancing and usually a buffet).
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
No, I think that’s pretty rude here in the States. A reception is a thank-you to your guests for witnessing and supporting your wedding.
I think all you can do is find a cheaper caterer. $1000 per 7 people is a LOT! Get catered by a restaurant, BBQ, taco bar, etc? Just serve beer and wine?
And lay down the law on your guy! What a dumbass for inviting all those people!! (Obviously don’t give him any more control on the guest list.)
Post # 5
Oh jeez, what a tough situation!
Definitely sit down with your Fiance and show him how much each of these guests cost. I bet he’s inviting people because he doesn’t understand why you’re limiting the guest list. I had to do this with my Fiance… he has a HUGE family, and I had to sit down and show him the cost breakdown. He didn’t want to accept any money from my father, but if we didn’t, there was no way we could accomodate his gaggle of cousins.
Is there any way he could chip in some money for the wedding? At least enough to cover his extra guests?
Post # 6
You’re in a tough spot. Since you asked what etiquette is…
Etiquette says anyone who got a save the date = an invite. You also can’t have tiered events… anyone at the ceremony should be at the recepton. So. Everyone must be invited.
My advice mirrors PP. Find a cheaper caterer. You can’t not invite these folks now.
Post # 7
wow i would be so mad! Can you change your venue? Unfortunately there is no way to avoid breaking etiquette rules if you are planning on uninviting people who received a STD card. Are there other wedding costs you can cut back on? Rentals? Flowers? Bar? (not ideal but i guess in an emergency), can you cut a course out of your meal?
Post # 8
Not sure if you have picked out your wedding Invitations yet, but if you have not to help you save a little bit of money, I make custom invitations and would be happy to give you a price quote.
Post # 9
THanks for all the different advise. Friends of mine are getting married a month after me and are having 2 receptions as two other friends did, they have a cake and punch reception at the church for some people and then have a sit down dinner for others.
What is your take or input on this. Do you think this appropriate?