(Closed) SAVE THE DATES and WEDDING INVITATIONS…..HELP…

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I do not think you can invite people just to the ceremony and not to the dinner/celebration afterwards but where I’m from in the UK it is perfectly acceptable and, indeed, common to invite guests to the evening reception only (i.e. after the wedding breakfast, speeches, etc. for drinks, dancing and usually a buffet).

Post # 4
Member
9209 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

No, I think that’s pretty rude here in the States. A reception is a thank-you to your guests for witnessing and supporting your wedding. 

I think all you can do is find a cheaper caterer. $1000 per 7 people is a LOT! Get catered by a restaurant, BBQ, taco bar, etc? Just serve beer and wine?

And lay down the law on your guy! What a dumbass for inviting all those people!!  (Obviously don’t give him any more control on the guest list.)

Post # 5
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Oh jeez, what a tough situation! 

Definitely sit down with your Fiance and show him how much each of these guests cost. I bet he’s inviting people because he doesn’t understand why you’re limiting the guest list. I had to do this with my Fiance… he has a HUGE family, and I had to sit down and show him the cost breakdown. He didn’t want to accept any money from my father, but if we didn’t, there was no way we could accomodate his gaggle of cousins. 

 

Is there any way he could chip in some money for the wedding? At least enough to cover his extra guests?

Post # 6
Member
669 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

You’re in a tough spot. Since you asked what etiquette is…

Etiquette says anyone who got a save the date = an invite. You also can’t have tiered events… anyone at the ceremony should be at the recepton. So. Everyone must be invited.

My advice mirrors PP. Find a cheaper caterer. You can’t not invite these folks now.

Post # 7
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

wow i would be so mad! Can you change your venue? Unfortunately there is no way to avoid breaking etiquette rules if you are planning on uninviting people who received a STD card. Are there other wedding costs you can cut back on? Rentals? Flowers? Bar? (not ideal but i guess in an emergency), can you cut a course out of your meal?

 

Post # 8
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Not sure if you have picked out your wedding Invitations yet, but if you have not to help you save a little bit of money, I make custom invitations and would be happy to give you a price quote.

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