Post # 1
We originally was going to invite 50 of our closest family and friends to our wedding in April. Sent out our Save the Dates last month. However, a lot of personal and financial problems have came up this past month (rather not give out details), and we realize it’s best for us to have just an even smaller wedding (immediate family and best friends only), so guest list would probably go down to 20. Unfortunately some of our wedding money would have to go toward other things that are more important.
Would it be rude to cancel those people out that already got the Save the Dates and only send the real invites to the 20? I feel so bad of having to do this but have no other choice 🙁
Post # 3
Yes, incredibly rude and offensive. I’m sorry, but once you send someone a Save the Date, you almost have to invite them to the wedding…
Post # 4
Eeeeek! I think it would be VERY rude…. But if there is no other way then what can you do about it?
I would personally call each person that can not come anymore and offer an apology and let them know why you are doing this.
Post # 5
When you send a save the date, they start making sure they request time off work, arrange for babysitters, decline other plans, etc. If you were sent one and then it was later rescinded, I’m sure you’d be pretty upset, so you can imagine how they’ll feel.
Post # 6
Since it’s 8 months until your wedding is there any way you could save that money to invite all the people you sent Save the Dates to?
Post # 7
It is really ruse, but if budget is why you can’t invite them, can y9ou move the wedding to somewhere cheaper?
Post # 8
Typically I say you cannot do this. However, given your situation it seems you have no choice. I would personally call everyone and explain the situation and apologize.
Post # 9
If you can no longer afford a full dinner reception for 50 people you should just have a dessert reception or hor dourves or brunch and stlll have all 50 people there. Do it in a family or friends backyard and have them help you with the cooking. By sending out save the dates you already invited these 50 people to the wedding and uninviting them would be super rude.
Post # 10
@Artificial-Sweetener: Yes I would definitely call each person and explain our situation.
@MrsTVLover: We’re not sending out our invites till Jan/Feb, I really hope we can figure all this out before then so I don’t have to do that. I’m even willing to get a weekend job to fix this.
You guys are right, I would be the biggest a-hole if I did this.
Post # 11
Also, if you invite all 50 people, you might only get 35 or 40 going when it’s all said and done. Just a thought!
Post # 12
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
As an wedding invitee, I would be less offended going to a scaled down punch and cake reception than being uninvited. There are a lot of ways to cut wedding costs to include those 30 guests. And like futuremrsmp stated, it’s very rare to get 100% acceptance rates.
Post # 13
i agree that its a major no-no to send Save-The-Date Cards to people you don’t invite BUT in THIS PARTICULAR CASE i say that if these people are close friends and family who are familiar with your financial situation and they love and cherish you, it might be ok. i think it would be much worse at least if you sent Save-The-Date Cards to 300 people and then didnt invite 50 of them…
i hope you can find the $$ and invite everyone. but one better option if you can’t is to cancel the bigger wedding and tell EVERYONE and then plans omething new that is smaller and on a different date?
Post # 14
Could you have 20 people at your wedding and then have a BBQ or something on the date thats on the STD? That way they are still celebrating a marriage, but in a much less expensive and informal way.
Post # 15
@MrsTVLover: Yes I’m kind of hoping for that 🙂
@bostongirl27: We thought about canceling, but already put down $2,000 for this wedding. Losing that would be hard 🙁
@rebwana: I’m going to figure out a way to do that. Thanks!
Post # 16
It’s extrememly rude to not invite someone once they’ve been sent a save-the-date 🙁
Maybe you could cut costs elsewhere- maybe have a brunch or lunch reception earlier in the day? We did a lunch reception and it cut our catering bill almost in HALF!
Skip favors- they aren’t necessary at all.
Have a limited bar- maybe just mimosas, bloody marys, and chapmagne if you do a brunch, or beer & wine if you do a lunch.