Post # 1
So my Fiance’s parents (they are divorced) have both given us their guest lists. They are only asking for a small amount of people to come to the wedding but there are people on their list that they’ve assured me won’t be attending (Fiance’s father now lives in out of the country and requested that out of the country guests (who he assures me wont be coming) get invited). Do I send them Save The Dates? I am particularly torn about this since I would have to order more supplies as these guests are an addition to the original list he gave us.
Do I buy more supplies and make additional Save the Dates for people who aren’t even coming? Or do I just count them in when I’m getting the invitations?
Post # 3
I ran into a similar situation and it really comes down to personal preference. If you feel that some guests (even though they have no intention to attend) may get offended by not receiving a save the Date announcement, you may want to include them.
In my case, many of our guests that I knew wouldn’t come were people who weren’t in touch with the immediate family and/or lived far away and were only tied to the family by friendship. In other words, they were unlikely to know that Save the dates were sent out anyway, much less know they weren’t included.
If it is not going to hurt your budget or timeline too much, I say go ahead and send them out to all the people you plan to invite.
Post # 4
Judgement call — is a definite that these ppl won’t come or is an assumption they won’t be coming? Plans change and who knows, if they have a save the date, they may want to swing it anyway. If you don’t think there will be any bitterness, I wouldn’t worry about save the dates.
Also — If I was 100% sending them invites, then I would send save the dates.
Post # 5
I would send them. Can you imagine what would happen if your FI’s dad were to mention them to these guests?
I don’t think you have to because you don’t have to send them at all, but if you’re doing it for some you should do it across the board.
Post # 6
Oohh I am struggling with this as well because it feels wrong to me for 2 related reasons – if you sent a STD you must send an invitation and if you send an invitation people feel obligated to send a gift and I DO NOT WANT these people to feel obligated to send a gift when I know they won’t be coming! So I don’t think I will be doing this I think we are going to verbally talk to these individuals about the possibility of them traveling for the wedding (they all live in the UK) and if they believe that it is a possibility I will send them a STD!
Good Luck – its a tough one!
Post # 7
I probably wouldn’t sent the save the date … that way if for some reason plans change, you aren’t obligated to send them an invite … how many threads have we seen about not wanting to send an invite to someone who got a save the date?
Post # 8
I would send them, just to be nice…
Post # 9
I’m not sending them to my grandparents, who can’t make it due to health problems, but I will definately send an invitations with a note saying we’re so sorry they won’t be there to celebrate with us.
Post # 10
I would send them… who knows? They might end up coming (the more, the merrier… sometimes). And if the Save-The-Date Cards got mentioned, the guests who didn’t get them would probably be a little bit offended. Treat them like you would any other guest.
Post # 11
Hi Hive! Thanks for all your wonderful help! I ended up sending the save the dates because I had more left over than I thought I was going to plus, I just didn’t want the Fiance’s family to find out that I hadn’t sent them if for some off-the-hook reason, those people were actually going to attend!