Post # 1
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
Who would you send the StD’s to in our case? Can you advise?
We are probably splitting up people in several groups/parts of the day:
– Ceremony: intimate, close family and close friends
– Reception: more family / relatives and friends, colleagues, friends from our parents etc plus day guests of course
– Dinner: same as reception or even more intimate
– Party: the big par-tay with around 150-200 guests
Of course, we’ll send the std’s to all day guests. But do you also send them to people who you’re just inviting to the party? Or just the reception? Or reception + party but no dinner?
what if they think they’ll be invited for the whole day because of the save the date card? Or do you already specify their part on the card? I would feel bad if somebody saved the entire day only to find out they’re welcome at the party.
how does this work? What’s common wedding practice?
Post # 2
Member
1634 posts
Bumble bee
STD are for needed when you have guests that must travel- take off from work, save up for flights and hotel or when your event may interfere with a busy, holiday weekend. Does this sound like your wedding or guest list?
If not skip the STD for everyone.
Post # 3
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
CurlyCue: yes we will have several international guests. Isn’t it meant for the rest? I didn’t know 🙂
Post # 4
Member
1634 posts
Bumble bee
sfp: Save-The-Date Cards technically are not meant for anyone. You could just as easily call or email or send a letter to friends and family that you intend to invite.
If I received a STD I would expext to attend the ceremony. I wouldhope your international travelers are invited to the entire event because that is a big ask. I would skip local guests and part of day guests.
Post # 5
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
CurlyCue: of course our international friends are invited for the whole day, no worries 🙂
i like the idea of sending real paper Std’s because it’s not quite common here and think it would be nice. But unsure who to send it to, because if people indeed expect an invite to the ceremony whereas they’re actually only invited to the reception that’s quite rude from our side i tjink, and I hopo to avoid that.
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This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by
sfp.
Post # 6
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
sfp: I have to say your wedding day seems very complicated. Where are you getting married? What is expected and what is considered rude depends on your location. Most people would consider it rude or ‘tacky’ to be invited to the reception & party but not fed
It would be easier to split the day in two rather than 4 parts. How would the reception be different from dinner?
Here in the UK it is common to have the ceremony & reception (including the wedding breakfast, speeches and cake with ceremony starting early afternoon) with family and close friends but then invite colleagues and not so close friends to the evening (dancing till the small hours of the morning usually with ‘nibbles’)
From what I have learnt on this site, it is considered rude in the the US not to invite people to the whole thing (but weddings seem to be shorter)
They aren’t always needed. STD are still rarer in the UK and some of my older family members got confused thinking they were the invitations.Our wedding is when most people book their summer holidays so we needed to let people know the date and it was easier than calling everyone.
We sent Save-The-Date Cards to everyone who would be invited to the ceremony and reception but not to the evening. If I recieved note to keep that day free I would expect to be invited to the whole thing.
Post # 7
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
yorkiemad00: yeah I can imagine it sounds quite complicated to someone else. To clarify a bit: my fiancé owns a medium sized company so he kind of *has* to invite all of his (60+) employee. Since it’s not really wise to go drinking with your employees at a party, we thought it wise to invite them to the reception only.
and I have a huuuuge family, including stepfamily, about 50 members at least. And I’m on a good basis with all of them, and see them regularly so definitely want to include them in at least the reception and the party, and people such as my parents, siblings (I have 5!) and closest aunt uncle and grandma for the entire day with ceremony and reception and dinner and party.
Hope that clarifies matters a bit about our choice to do it this way. We’re expecting to have a day from around 11.00-02.00 or so, I guess that’s pretty normal here in Europe haha. So then we can definitely incorporate several elements.
Perhaps we won’t need to send save the dates to ALL guests when you think about it because our colleagues etc might not need to save an entire date just for a reception. Hmm. I’ll consider.
Post # 8
Member
398 posts
Helper bee
This might be an evil idea, but…don’t send Save-The-Date Cards “reception only” people if you’re just inviting them out of obligation. If they don’t find out about the wedding until invitations come, they’ll be less likely to make it. That’s fewer meals of people you don’t care about that you’ll have to pay for. 😉
Send Save-The-Date Cards to people whose presence matters to you. And, of course, don’t send them to some people in a group (a group being a family, an office, or a group of friends) but not others, because word gets around.
Post # 9
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
sunflower22: haha that’s good advice. Although I don’t mind if all people show up, moneywise, that’s not the point and we’re budgeting for every one of course. But I guess not all people find our wedding so super important that they’ll need to know a year in advance. So maybe it’s not even necessary to send it to everyone.
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