Post # 1
My partner and I are planning a courthouse wedding in NYC during long weekend with immediate family members (they all know) and then a dinner that my FIL’s are hosting that night for any other family/friends. In between will be sight seeing and fun. Then our honeymoon will be going to the UK for my future husband to meet my family who live there, and we’ll have another family gathering/dinner (essentially Future In-Laws will be the only Americans coming with us to this).
My FIL’s are convinced that even for just sight seeing and a dinner, some extended family will definitely come. My FH’s family is wealthy, so they wouldn’t be deciding to go based on money.
This is planned for May 2017… And essentially anyone who is willing to go to NYC is invited. It’ll most likely be a maximum of 30 people at the dinner.
We don’t want a bunch of formality (hence the casual wedding day) but as a graphic designer, I of course am going all out for the invitations (which will explain the whole plan essentially).
Can I just send out invitations (with RSVPs) and no save the dates? What’s the earliest we can send them out? I want everyone to have plenty of time to plan or decide if they’re coming, but I don’t want to send them too early and have them lost/forgotten.
Post # 2
You certainly can send invitations with no Save-The-Date Cards. Invitations are sent 6-8 weeks before the event, which should give you enough time to track down non-responders. Save-The-Date Cards are generally sent out 6-8 months prior so your guests who need to travel can make their arrangements.
Post # 3
If a lot of your guests don’t live in NYC (or even NY) I would consider Save-The-Date Cards – that’s kind of the point, to give people advance warning to help them plan their travel etc. Unless you just casually do a word of mouth type of thing.
As JiminyCricket said, invites are 6-8 weeks prior (maybe even 10 for a “destination” type wedding) but that’s about as early as is recommended, which isn’t a whole lot of time. Not impossible, but if anyone needs to arrange transportation and hotel stays, usually the earlier the better, especially if it is a long (?Holiday) weekend.
ETA: If it’s the “formality” of STD’s you are concerned about, there are plenty of cute and casual styles, like magnets or postcards 🙂
Post # 4
I find in many case people do save the dates unnessacerily as a cute pintrest-y thing and its a waste but in your case thats what save the dates are for… they are for any wedding that involves travel or any wedding at a time people are likely to make plans (such as the christmas period, 4th july, halloween, thanksgiving, new year etc…)
Post # 5
lillybug93 : I think that for the kind of wedding you are having, I can’t imagine the guests who are coming will be all “tut-tut, I got this invitation three months (or even, heck, six months) in advance, when the etiquette handbooks all say 6-8 weeks” I also think that so many people don’t even know what the ‘rules’ are (which is why we all come on here asking them once it’s time for us to get married!) – so they will be none the wiser anyway 🙂
We had a Destination Wedding where many people would be flying long-distance, and we wanted to give them as much advance notice as possible – we started by setting up our wedding website, explaining everything… and we sent out our invites 3 months in advance. Everyone was very happy to get them then, and some even asked for them sooner! It helped us on our planning, and was easier logistically. This is the kind of etiquette thing where an earlier invitation is actually MORE considerate for your guests, who need to book flights, hotels, etc – as long as you have all the info for them, why not send them out as soon as they are ready? I can’t see the harm in that.
Post # 6
NOLABride2015 : I agree with you! But I got a tut-tut about sending invites early! One of my Future Sister-In-Law told us that we sent our invites out too soon–10 weeks, with 80% of the guest list traveling more than 100 miles. I had no problem setting her straight on that one. People who actually had to travel expressed their appreciation, though–even though we sent Save-the-Dates.
Post # 7
Are you going to have a wedding website? We just put all our info on there so that people could start planning before receiving the physical invitation. We had to contact almost everyone for addresses anyway, so it was easy to tell them the date and the website address then.
Post # 8
JiminyCricket : panda_bear3 : btob17 : Y’all are convincing me to possible do save the dates … I just don’t want there to be any misunderstanding that it’s not a wedding-wedding.
NOLABride2015 : iironmaidelah : I think I’ll also send out the invitations early, 3 months to book in NYC can be crucial to get a good deal. And so we can figure out guest count for the dinner.
BookishBee : The wedding website would be useful! My Future Mother-In-Law can send that around to her family until I decide on save the dates or not.