(Closed) Save the drama for your mama

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Miss Peach Tree: That really sucks, but it is 3 weeks before your wedding (rather than 3 days).

If you can’t go, just don’t go. Future Brother-In-Law should understand that you have way too much to do to be able to fly across the country so close to your own wedding.

It sucks that he picked a date so close, but throwing a fit/being upset will really only end up making you look petty in the end.

Was your shopping trip with mom, Future Mother-In-Law, and BMs already scheduled? Or were dates still being tossed around. Future Mother-In-Law should have let you know that she was busy that weekend (even if she couldn’t tell you why) so that you could schedule everything you needed to.

Post # 5
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

This is really aweful.  You have handled everything so well.  The last month before your wedding is so stressful without having to fly so far.  Is it possible for you to just use the vacation time and wedding planning as an excuse to get out of going and then send a nice gift with card?? Just an idea.

Post # 6
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@15happyyears: I agree. Just say as much as you wish you could come, you really don’t have the vacation days (your FILS can’t offer you vacation days like they can money).

Send a nice gift/card and say how much you are looking forward to seeing everyone later that month.

Post # 7
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

First i want to say WHATS THE HECK??!! Can we say rude!! with that being said I am so sorry!! You are handling this so well.. So good for you very classy! Now i say if you cant attend then dont. You dont need your jobs to be mad bc your taking more time off, or strap yourself right before your wedding. You will have ten million things to do by then. And ps thats not selfish thats being prepared for a day you have been planning forever!! Good luck with everything and I’m sorry again!!

Post # 8
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

This is so rude.  If it were a friend, or a cousin, I’d tell you to get over it… but his brother?  I don’t mean to make you more angry, but as a courtesy they should have actually waited until after you were married. 

I’d be nice, but I wouldn’t go, unless your FH really wants you to.  You don’t have the time or money.  I wouldn’t bend over backwards to make these brats happy.

Post # 9
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I agree it seems rude and inconsiderate of them, but, its still over 4 months to go until your wedding. All I can suggest beyond being the adult is to do things earlier that you had planned for that weekend. Spend more time NOW on your DIY’s and you’ll have the time then to celebrate with them. 

 

It’s possible the venue she wanted was available then and the next available option that worked for their schedules was so far out they couldn’t wait that long. Or maybe they need to get on the others medical plan.Or she’s preganant and wants the baby to be born with his name, and she doen’t wish to be showing too much ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 11
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Miss Peach Tree: FWIW, I think you’re handling it really well. Good luck holding onto your sanity and good humor!

Post # 12
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Miss Peach Tree: I agree with @mightywombat:, you’re doing an amazing job handling this.  

If it were my brother, I’d have called him up and told him off, none tooo pleasantly, then hung up on him, lol.  

My biggest question is the time off.  That’s a lot of time off so close to your wedding.  Especially if you don’t have any extra vacation time.  ๐Ÿ™

good luck!!!

Post # 13
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I usually feel strongly about the “you get a wedding DAY not a wedding *insert year/month/decade depending on the topic* and people are only commiting to the DAY”

HOWEVER in this case I think you Future Brother-In-Law is out of line…if they are planning to elope surely they can celebrate on just about any day? Also, what on earth do people mean “Don’t be mad it isn’t his fault” did someone spike his coffee and say “Hey lets do this party on X day” and he doesn’t remember it? He’s an adult enough to get married but not adult enough to take responsibility? Sheeeesh.

OP, I think saying “FMIL/FFIL/FBIL we would love nothing more than to be at FBIL’s celebration, however given that I have final dress fittings/getting ahead with work/no vacation due to the wedding, I’m afraid that is really going to be impossible”

 

Ick! Hug!!!

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