(Closed) Saved the Date but Not Invited?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
26 posts
Newbee

personally, I would email the bride and/or groom. It will save you and them from the potential awkwardness if she/he is caught off guard if you were to call. Unless you want to hear them  squirm 🙂

Post # 18
Member
26 posts
Newbee

I would say ask.  I know we had three invites that didn’t make it to there destination.  Two were returned to us (wrong city, right street errors) and one we found out about when we were asking around to see if everyone got theirs.  So it is entirely possible.  That being said if they pruposely left you off, well that is in poor taste on their part.

Post # 19
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Wait – do you know for sure you aren’t getting an invite? It is not only tacky, but an extreme burden and inconvenience on your time, so I say call the bride and ask. Just say "this may sound very silly since I received a STD, but am I getting an invite? I saved the date!"

Post # 21
Member
3331 posts
Sugar bee

I would definitely check with them, just in case your invitation was lost in the mail or something.  We actually had one invitation sent back to us because I accidentally put on the wrong zip code.  I think if it were me, I’d ask directly, if you’re closer to the groom, you could just ask him.  Even a quick email, just saying "Hey, we got the StD but didn’t get an invitation.  Just wanted to check with you about this" would do the trick.  Personally, I’d rather go to the source, instead of checking through other friends.

Post # 22
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I had a similar thing happen to me last fall – a good friend from college was getting married, and I knew about it, got the STD, was ready to go, but never received an invitation.  For about a week I felt put out, then asked a friend who had mentioned her invitation to ask the bride if I was invited.  Turns out the invitation was lost in the mail – thank goodness I asked!  🙂  If you DID get a STD, and are not invited, that’s pretty darn rude!

Post # 23
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

If you didn’t get a STD, but just expected to be invited to the wedding…and then didn’t get an invite…then I would just tell you to forget about it.  HOWEVER, since you did receive the STD….it is totally appropriate for you to contact them!  If it did get lost in the mail, and you don’t contact them and don’t attend the wedding….can you imagine how terrible they would feel about the miscommunication??  Definitely give them a call…then you won’t have to worry about it anymore!! Good luck!! 🙂

Post # 24
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Definitely ask them about it.  I’m with the group that says if you send them a STD, you send them an invitation, even if something blew up in your life and you aren’t friends.  If you no longer are friends, then they will just say no to the invitation.  In any case, you asked them to save the date, so you should invite them.

In your case since you got the STD and no invite, call to make sure it didn’t get lost in the mail.  Good luck!

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