(Closed) “Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts”

posted 8 years ago in Entertainment
Post # 3
793 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’ve never read the book, but seems strange.

Post # 5
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Hum …. seems like an odd book.

We just did our pre-marriage counseling the weekend and we did have a similar worksheet that included something about unfufilled needs as a child.  You were supposed to talk about positive and negative aspects (from a child’s perspective, not looking back at it now) of your caregivers growing up and things that frustrated you as well as very fond memories.  The idea behind it is that we subconsciously look for both these positive and negative traits in our SO because it lends us to being comfortable with them.  Because of this, the same frustrations you had with your parents can manifest with your SO so recongnizing them can help you work through them better.

I also had a hard time with this because I don’t feel that I lacked for things as a child.  This was the one aspect of our counselling that I didn’t really “buy” but the rest of it was really good (but our counselor was really laid-back, young, etc and quickly recognized that Fiance and I had already had lots of in-depth discussion on much of what he normally covers so he quickly moved on).

Post # 6
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Yeah, my impression was that the book is kind of simplistic. But I’m sure there is an audience for it.

Post # 7
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think you should read the book that’s been recommended to you, but supplement it with some other books that you pick out.  My fiance and I both read “Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John Gottman and learned a lot about communicating effectively without hurting the other person.  I highly recommend it.

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