- 4 years ago
I went to my first bf dad’s bike shop to get some work on my bike done. I have a great relationship with his family. I mean, we spent 9 years together.I was super close to his family and they always treated me like a daughter. And to this date, we still treat each other like family. Just not him.
So his dad owns a bike shop and he is the one I trust to keep me safe while training and racing to not have any preventable mishap on the bike. When you are pedaling at 20-30 mph this is super important. Aaanyway, I waited until night time, knowing my ex is free on Saturdays, and to try to avoid him, night time is better. But of course, I get there and who’s the first face I see when I park? Yep, him. As I got my bike out i started feeling anxious and nervous. We are very civil and kind of friendly if we cross paths. But truth is he did very damaging, hurtful and lasting things that to this point still bring a lot of feelings when certain things come up here and there.
He helped me get the bike out, greeted me, carried it inside the shop, and first face I see is his current partner. We are very cordial towards each other. I started going about business with his dad and in the meantime, spoke casually with her. All “normal”.
And now I am sitting here, just realizing I don’t have really ill feelings for him. Well, most of the time that is. Lol. He is not a terrible person. With time comes perspective. And I can now realize why I struggled so bad at the time we broke up. He is not a terrible person. He actually is a good person who happens to have VERY poor judgment at times. And yes, do bad things and not realize those things can have very bad consequences for the ones he loves. I also realized we all do stupid things. We all make mistakes. Some worse than others but we all make mistakes and sometimes hurt loved ones in the process. He made mistakes. And it seems, with some maturity now he is trying to do better. I know he is awfully sorry for the things he did. So today, as I am planning a wedding to a wonderful man I love to death, I realized whatever happened, i don’t excuse. But I forgive. We all screw up here and there. And I had the blessing of having good parents that raised me in a loving relationship. He didn’t. Maybe he didn’t know any better. We weren’t meant to be and boy I am SO glad we did not marry as we had planned. I choose to honor the good things we lived and forgive him for the pain and bad bad things he put me through.
He acted and I chose my destiny. I chose that being hurt that bad could only happen once. So here I am sitting at home, thinking about how life teaches us lessons and moves on. I just texted my future husband telling him how much I love him, how happy I am we found each other and how incredibly blessed I am to have him in my life. He knows because I tell him quite a lot but still. lol. And that I can’t wait to see him next week. He is coming homee yay!