Post # 1
My boyfriend and I just celebrated our five year anniversary! I love him more than words can express and I am continually amazed with how well we fit together. I am seriously ridiculously happy and cannot imagine my life without him. We have always talked about buying a house together and we talk about our future children all the time. About a year ago the feeling of waiting and that itch for something to happen really started to kick in for me. This has lead to us having some very serious relationship talks in the last six months. He has suddenly stopped having these talks and when I bring it up he just smiles and changes the subject. We are going on a trip in a month and I REALLY wanted it to happen then but have been trying my hardest not to get my hopes up.
Last night we found out that one of our couple friends. whose wedding we attended last year, is expecting a baby! The father told my boyfriend about it but said to keep it very hush hush. When my boyfriend was in the shower I happened to grab his phone to look for a picture he had taken of our cat and their conversation was open. I wanted to know more about the baby so I started reading (which I know is probably bad but we have always been very lax about our phones and privacy). I was scrolling up and saw my boyfriend had written “Dinner, champagne, before we leave for our trip” and our friend wrote back “congratulations!! Let me know if you need any help wedding planning!”
I never intended to ruin the surprise but now I am freaking out! I go back and forth between being insasnely ecstatic and then feeling like a jerk for ruining the surprise and then being a little sad that it won’t happen on the trip. What is wrong with me??
Please tell me it will still be magical eventhough I ruined the surprise!
Also, would I be terrible person to hint that the weeks before we leave I will be insanely busy with work (which is very true!) and somehow work into a different conversation that it is my dream to be proposed to in the city we are going to? (This is also true!) But please don’t get me wrong, I will be incredibly happy wherever and whenever it happens! I am just a big ball of nerves right now!
Post # 2
It will still be magical.
It might not be a popular opinion, but I do not think you should ever tell your SO you found out before he proposed. I knew for hours before my Fiance proposed because he was a nervous wreck, but he loved the thought of surprising me, so I still maintain that I didn’t know lol.
Post # 3
Be happy with whatever he is planning, and don’t hint that what he’s planning isn’t your “ideal.” It’s not all about you, this is his moment too. And please don’t look at his phone any more unless you want the surprise to be ruined.
Post # 4
No. Don’t hint at anything. It’s his proposal too. This is why it’s not cool to read your other half’s messages. The messages were not intended for you or for you to see. Therefore, that’s snooping. No biggy, but perhaps don’t do it again.
Post # 5
I agree with mrstbone: I knew Darling Husband was going to propose a few minutes before he did it. I saw the ring box in his pocket. That didn’t take away ANY of the magic of the moment and our story is still the cutest proposal story ever (of course I’m ridiculously biased). I would never let that slip to him because he’s so proud of the proposal and it wouldn’t change anything.
Also, please DO NOT tell him that you’d rather be proposed to in the city you’re visiting. Won’t it be just as romantic to celebrate your love and your engagement on the whole trip? Let him do it the way he always imagined.
Post # 6
In short, nothing will be ruined, but keep your proposal preferences to yourself. Forever.
Post # 7
Eeek! That’s so exciting!
The surprise is definitely *not* ruined, don’t worry 😀 I’m sure there are many details he’s planned that you don’t know about.
I think your trip will be magical regardless of the engagement, but honestly, I think it would be awesome to go to a city you’ve dreamed about as an engaged couple.
It’s his proposal, though. I’ve seen it happen many times on this board- when a girl starts trying to meddle in the proposal, the guy tends to get upset. This is your man’s time to shine, and it will be amazing!
Post # 8
It won’t ruin the moment! My husband doesn’t know that I had a pretty good idea he was going to propose on the day he actually did, and I’d never tell him because he did such a wonderful job. My knowing didnt take away from the special moment.
Post # 9
Thank you for all of your input! I think you’re all right. It will still be amazing. I am just someone who has a really hard time letting go of control. I know that is bad, but I loooove planning things! Taking a back seat on this whole thing has been incredibly difficult and a huge learning moment for me. I will not meddle and i am going to try my best to forget I saw anything. And I will not touch his phone until it happens, but I want to say again that it was an accident and I had no idea he wouldn’t have cleared those messages away! Especially since we use each other’s phones all the time!!
Post # 10
shakeyourhips: Look at it this way. You will be newly engaged in your dream city! Vongratulations in advance and let us know how it goes!