(Closed) "Say what?" Things you thought you'd never overhear, but did…

posted 6 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I heard a woman who owns/runs a members only “swingers club” hit on a federal judge in court a few weeks ago….. prob shouldn’t give more details than that. But seriously? Hilarious.

Post # 5
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

My SO and I have a weird habit of overhearing a lot of REALLY weird and uncomfortable conversations in restaurants.

Best ones:
(In French, and it was clear from the earlier conversation they were on a first date): “Uh, so the doctor gave me a cream for my sores… It burns…” The remainder of the conversation hinted at him discussing his herpes.

A middle-aged guy with a young woman, who went on for the whole two hours we were at dinner about how rich he was, how important he was, and how he was not impressed that she wasn’t available to him at all times because “I get what I pay for.” Gross.

Post # 7
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

my friends and I, while in college, always talked about getting one of the guys to walk past the campus tour groups while having a loud conversation about “If Professor Name touches me again I SWEAR!”.

never actually overheard a possibly inappropriate conversation though, but I’m sure lots of people sitting near my friends and me have 😛

Post # 8
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@kittyface:  I’ve heard something like the second one before. Fiance and I want to a Japanese hibachi grill. Since the grills are large, there were 2 other couples sitting with us. The one couple directly next to use seemed to be on a first date and the guy was showing her realestate that he has sold in the past and talking about his great commisions, and she was eating it all up (and many glasses of expensive wine)!

Post # 10
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Can’t recall any off the top of my had but I know a great place to hear weird conversations is definitely fitting rooms in department stores/malls/etc

Post # 11
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Lady on her cell phone in Target: “I got the butt cream, was that all I was here for?” 

I know I’ve heard some other weird ones but that’s all I can remember right now!

Post # 12
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

A bit of background: I live in an apartment complex on the third floor, and do not have my own washer or dryer. Who wants to drag that up two flights of stairs? 

Anyways. I was going down to the laundry room one night and walked passed a first floor patio. The woman who lived there was outside on the phone talking VERY LOUDLY. She was almost yelling. I overheard her say (loudly): “And then, your vagina just opens up…!!!”

Um… I almost dropped my laundry basket full of clean clothes. 

Post # 13
Member
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@ASH.:  That made me laugh out loud!

I overheard someone at a friends wedding talking about her brother and his new fiancee.  He said “Brother did very well for himself if you know what I mean.”  <Silence>  “She’s very rich.”

Classy.

Post # 15
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

@Brielle:  I really really hope so! Tongue Out

Post # 16
Member
5148 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

A few stories from my family that, out of context, sounded really bad and got weird looks:

My mom and dad walking down the sidewalk of a shopping center, my mom says “what, your balls aren’t big enough?”. Cue nasty glare from nearby mother with small children. (They were talking about lead ammo balls for black-powder shooting, walking towards the hunting/fishing supply store.)

My mom, back in college, to the bouncer at the bar who was also her cousin: “You still haven’t paid me for last time!” (Talking about babysitting her cousin’s kids, but came out sounding like she was selling sex.)

“Do they have any dog meat?” – Conversation Darling Husband & I have frequently at the grocery store and sometimes people hear us and we get weird looks. By ‘dog meat’, we are talking about meat on sale under $1/pound (chicken, turkey) or under $1.50/pound (pork, beef) to feed to our dogs who eat a raw prey-model diet, I think people overhear us and think we want to eat dogs.

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