(Closed) Say what? You want a plus one because why???

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 47
Member
4097 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@bruinchick4:  please do not put a FAQ on your wedding website. It reads very rude. I agree no guest is ever entitled to a +1, and thus I understand your frustration. But $300 pp and you’re claiming a tight budget as your reasoning? How could you? 

Post # 48
Member
656 posts
Busy bee

I get how annoying it is, but weren’t you ever “that person”?

I remember when I was younger and I went to my first wedding and I just assumed I could bring my boyfriend because that’s what they did in the movies! I never even thought about it being annoying or rude!

We’ve had a couple of people ask if they were getting a +1 but these are guys who’ve never been to weddings before. We just said “no, sorry dude, we’ve hit max capacity! 🙁 you’ll know loads of people, though, and you’re on a table with your mates ;)”

Post # 49
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@almostmrsj:  “just plan for dates and don’t have to invite everyone you know”

I always wonder when I see someone saying this… would you rather not be invited, or be invited with a +1? 

Post # 50
Member
6263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@joya_aspera:  +1

all my guests will get a +1. I would not go to a wedding if I did not have a +1 and in my social circle I’ve never seen it.

Post # 51
Member
6263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@carrotstick:  hmmm….good question. I almost want to say I’d rather not be invited because I would not come but I’ve never experienced an invite that did not have a +1.

Post # 52
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@carrotstick:  Yes.  Pick one.  Either don’t invite me or invite me with a date, since I probably won’t come alone. 

Post # 53
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@gelaine22:  

View original reply
@almostmrsj:  

Glad you’re not my friends, holy crap! If somebody is more concerend about bringing a date to my wedding than, you know, attending my wedding because they want to celebrate with me… I don’t want them there! I’m thankful my friends aren’t like that.

(And for the record, all of my friends’ significant others are invited, but I’m not going to bump family members off the invite list so a friend can bring a random date I’ve never met!)

Post # 54
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@bruinchick4:  ugh, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. People really are just clueless though!

 

Re: the FAQ’s, it may be a bit more detailed/could be miscontrued as harsh, but if you know your guests won’t be too offended and really need that much info, go for it.  I may have to do the same because my family are a bunch of clueless hillbillies!

Post # 55
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@bruinchick4:  I think your revised FAQs look good! 

View original reply
@MrsMaskatoBe:  
View original reply
@MexiPino:  Yep, I’m also afraid of this. We already have a lot of people trying to invite themselves, so I’m very worried about uninvited guests. I wish we could invite everyone, but our budget is very tight. 

Post # 57
Member
38 posts
Newbee

I agree with removing the FAQ section, but I also think its rude in general to not give guests a plus one so take my opinion with a grain of salt.

Post # 58
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@carrotstick:  But that’s the thing.  I didn’t invite some of my friends so that my cousins could bring their significant others.  And I didn’t invite more friends so that the friends we did invite could bring a date if they wanted to.

I would rather you invite your cousin’s girlfriend than me.  You don’t have to invite everyone you know to your wedding. Draw the line at the layer of family or friends + dates gets you to the limit of your budget or venue. 

Post # 60
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

It seems this post has taken a bit of a turn, and we’re now opining about whether or not our wedding guests should always be invited with a plus one.  I’m surprised to hear some say that they would never attend a wedding alone, or that they would exclude friends and loved ones at their own wedding in order to be able to give everyone a plus one.  Some brides truly can’t afford to invite everyone with a guest, and would likely prefer to have people whom they know and love at their wedding.  What is so terrible about that?  If you want to go the rudeness/etiquette route, I believe the wedding etiquette experts (whomever they are) will tell you that everyone with a spouse, fiance/fiancee, or live-in partner should be invited with that person.  Otherwise, a plus one is not necessary.

Post # 61
Member
6263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@almostmrsj:  I agree. I think this may depend on your area/social circle/demographic though. I see on here some people are really working hard to get their wedding with limited funds and I guess this is where this stems from. It is easier to look from the outside and say, “hell no.” However, if my funds were tight or space was limited I would have to cut somewhere also. I have just never experienced this so I can’t imagine.

The topic ‘Say what? You want a plus one because why???’ is closed to new replies.

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