(Closed) Say what? You want a plus one because why???

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 92
Member
3423 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Overjoyed:

I think your dinner analogy falls a bit short.  Firstly it is not unheard of that people ask to bring a date to a dinner party at a house either.  You’d probably find a way to pull up an extra chair.  Last year I was organizing a small thanksgiving dinner that ended up being a potluck with 20 people casue I can’t say no, and neither did I want to.  If you have a small dinner party, it is probably with people that you spend time with on a regular basis and all know each other quite well and there isn’t months of anticipation and travel plans and gifts and cards and logistics to figure out.

The main problem with dates and weddings is that you get STD like 5-6 months before the wedding.  Lots can change in a person’s realitionship status in that time. 

Post # 93
Member
2894 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Atalanta:  You’d probably find a way to pull up an extra chair.

 

maybe YOU would. And if so, I’m glad that works for you. I do not invite strangers into my home under any circumstances. My home is my sacred resting place and I only open it to people I know and/or love. Even people I know well but whom I don’t particularly like cannot come into my home. We are taking a similar approach to the wedding.  By now, people who know me well enough to be invited to my wedding, likely are quite familiar with this philosophy of mine. 

 

Post # 94
Member
5360 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@bruinchick4:  I like your revised FAQ a lot! Good job. 

I don’t get why everyone thinks each guest is entitled to a +1, or that not giving a +1 to single guests means they are going to be “alone”. Aren’t your wedding guests family and good friends? So wouldn’t just about everyone there know at least a few other people? Are single people unable to be social? When I was single I still went out with friends. I danced. I drank. I had nice dinners at tables with other friends. How is a wedding any different? I swear… it’s like we’re saying being single is the most horrid condition. Of course you MUST need a plus one! How will you ever manage on your own?!

Post # 95
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Not terrible – the How come so and so got a plus one but I didnt question could be eliminated. It is the only one that rubbed me the wrong way.

Post # 96
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@bruinchick4:  I think you should forego the FAQ section on your wedding website. I’m sure you wrote it when you were upset because it seems a bit snarky. When you receive questions or RSVPs, I would handle them on an individual basis and politely tell guests that you are only inviting them, and although you wish you could please everyone, it’s just not in the budget. If anyone wants to argue with you further about why so-and-so received special treatment, you’ll just have to apologize and ensure them that they will know a lot of other guests and they will have a great time.

Post # 97
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@bruinchick4:  The revised FAQs are MUCH better! 🙂

Post # 99
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

[comment moderated for trolling]

Post # 100
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It is incredibly rude of you not to invite the SO of your guest because you don’t deem them “serious enough”.  Much of your FAQ is condescending.  The last three are fine, however “we want all of our guests to feel comfortable and have a great time at our wedding” is kind of contradictory to your previous point about “plus ones”.  If you want them to feel comfortable then don’t judge the seriousness of their relationship by excluding their SO.

Post # 101
Member
2973 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@shrinkgirl:  We can assume these guests are adults who are capable of some minimal amount of social interaction.  Why do they need their very own company?  If they do, then perhaps they need some therapy (in all seriousness).”

This pretty much sums up my thoughts on any of these “OMG they invited (  ) and didn’t invite (  )” threads.  I endlessly thank my parents for providing a wonderful example to me. They get invited to weddings and events all the time as a solo guest and they go…ALONE! It’s really no point in making the other person go to an event where they won’t know anyone and especially if this well-adjusted adult can function on their own in a social setting. Maybe some Bees need to stay offline for a bit and learn how to interact with other people in real life because the weird self-imposed social awkwardness is just too much.

Post # 102
Member
2973 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

p.s. The title of this thread makes me chuckle every single time I read it… lol

Post # 103
Member
2973 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

One more thing… I kind of see a flaw in these types of discussions on the Bee. I see many Bees in more rural lower economic towns and states belting out “come one, come all!” and Bees in more expensive cities being more selective with their invites. 

When I read comments like “I would never consider going to a wedding without my BF/SO/FI/FH/DH and I can’t understand why anyone would consider inviting me without them”, they usually live in some rural midwest/ small town southern area or something. Yeah… try planning and paying for a wedding in the mid-atlantic or in California or something. I bet you would be singing a different tune.

Post # 105
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2013

[comment moderated for trolling]

The topic ‘Say what? You want a plus one because why???’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors