Post # 1
it’s complicated. i’m sitting in the guy that i’m LDR’ing’s bed. he’s at work because some stuff went down and couldn’t get the day off like we had planned. it’s been a really amazing weekend.
i have a plane to catch in a few hours. this sucks. i am planning to maybe bake a little something and write a sweet note to leave behind.
what do you guys do to say goodbye at the end of a visit?
Post # 3
The last goodbye was him leaving me. I made him a mix CD and wrote out what each song means to me and gave that and some of his favourite candy to him as a goodbye gift.
Post # 4
We maybe see each other once a month, if that. Saying good-bye doesn’t get easier. In fact, it just gets harder. It’s usually him visiting me and just ends with a long hug at the airport. I wish it was cuter than that. I think a note would be a good idea for you.
Post # 5
@gut_feeling: I know the feeling.
In May, my husband (then boyfriend) flew me out to Oklahoma for three weeks to “test” our relationship. He’s military and deploys often. I stayed with him until the day before he deployed.
Leaving, was the most painful thing I’ve ever done. I got my ticket and the airline employee goes, “Are you alright?” I was a sniffling, weeping mess. I sat in the terminal and wept. I felt so alone, so cold and empty inside. I just wanted to throw my ticket to the wind and call him back to come get me and never leave. It was so, so awful and I moped on the flight.
I met my parents in Arizona (They were on a trip and they picked me up) and we drove home. Mom kept on me that I looked miserable — Of course I’m miserable! The love of my life is 1,000 miles the opposite direction!
A month later in June, he flew home to California (Where we both lived previously) and he loaded up some stuff from his parent’s house that he wasn’t able to take with him when he enlisted.
We drove home together and I remember sitting in a cramped, uncomfortable uhaul going, “This is the first day of the rest of my life.”
Life has never been sweeter.
I sympathize with your pain — I know it first hand. I know how agonizing it is to say goodbye, and for that I tell you to wipe those tears and when you reunite again, it will only be more exciting and wonderful.
Edit: Saying goobye never gets easier — I cry like a little girl every time I watch my husband walk away for a deployment. Thank FSM that his deployments are short, but it hurts every time he’s gone.
Post # 6
I know. I agree with PP – it does get harder every time. (after 3+ years of seeing each other every 3-4 months… trust me.) You’d think it gets easier as you get “used to” the whole goodbye process, but it just gets harder.
The good news is, this won’t be forever! Even if it seems like it will be. I promise! And it will all be so worth it if he’s worth it. 🙂 For me, the happy times and our rare times together so totally outweigh the sad moments and the tears (oh trust me, there have been a lot of tears lol). But I wouldn’t take it back!
Anyway, in answer to your question, I’m usually just a big mess of tears in the time leading up to the goodbye. We usually go to dinner the night before, and that’s always a nice distraction. Anything we can think of to get out of the house and keep our minds off of the upcoming goodbe. Depending on the length of time we were together, I start getting all weepy and sad earlier and earlier (for example, if we only have a weekend, I’m on a cloud until the last night/day of leaving, but if we’re together for a month or more, I start crumbling a bit off and on starting a few days before I leave.)
As shitty as this goodbye is/will be, the next time you’re reunited will completely wash it away.
Post # 7
@Hyperventilate: I know exactly how you feel. Oh, military! Worth it, though, as you know 🙂
Post # 8
I could not agree more. Saying goodbye is the worst thing ever. My FH and I have said goodbye so many times that we’ve lost count. It makes it especially hard saying goodbye knowing that there us usually about six months in between each time we see eachother.
Since we’ve had to say goodbye so much the last four years (during the six years before that, we never saw eachother at all), we’ve sort of exhausted the cute habits, goodbye notes, etc. Honestly, one of us will just drop the other off at the airport, we’ll have long drawn out goodbyes that last close to an hour just standing at the entrance to the gate hugging each other, not letting go, and sobbing until the very last possible second. It gets pretty miserable. He usually holds it together better than I do, but when I start getting somewhat hysterical he cracks and wells up.
Post # 9
When FH and I were LDR, I took it really hard every time. It never got easier. I would cry the night before, I’d be anxious and queasy the morning of, I’d be trying to stifle tears on the train each and every time. He would sometimes get frustrated, saying I should enjoy the time we have instead of focusing on having to go, and he was right, but it was so so so hard. All I could think of was a time we didn’t have to say goodbye anymore. It’s absolutely the worst, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
You’ll get there. I remember putting down the deposit on our first apartment when we FINALLY got to be in the same place again (we met during a study abroad semester) and moving in with almost no furniture in our tiny little studio… and sitting on the floor bawling my eyes out, this time from happiness, and he was so confused and worried and asked me what was wrong. I said nothing is, finally I get to spend time with you not thinking about saying goodbye.
Post # 10
I like to sometimes leave little notes throughout his room just saying stuff like “I love you!” and mushy things or inside jokes. I actually got some goofy “pirate” Easter eggs at Target last year for Easter and hid them around his room with little notes (I didn’t put candy because I was worried he might not find them all lol!) He freaking loved them and kept the little pirates (they were too cute!) and the notes. One time I hid a photo album of pictures of us on his bookshelf and he called me really excited!
Other than that I mostly just cry when we say goodbye. I have to say though, it is just awful on the day we are leaving. It’s all I can think about, it’s so hard to just concentrate on the moment with him. Cannot wait until the day I never have to say goodbye.
Post # 11
Spray some perfume on his pillow so he will have your sent after you have gone. Leave little notes around the house in his underwear draw, in the cabinet where his favor food is, a sticky on the remote control…
Everytime he sees something you left it will make him smile and say to himself thank God for her..She is so thoughtful…
EDIT: Didnt know the posting wasnt current this is from a couple of days ago.
Post # 12
Thanks for all of the replies and suggestions, ladies! I read all of your stories and comments. Thanks for sharing. I would reply individually but I’m feeling sort of bummed and lonely today – lol, I’m not in the mood! Woe is me! Sigh!
I’m such a drama queen but all of you LDR sisters are very appreciated! 🙂
Post # 13
@gut_feeling: I think we all know that loneliness and post-visit depression. How long until the next reunion? Hopefully not long! I see my boy in less than a month! Excited would be an understatement.
Post # 14
@FEDORAble: thanks! i think that when things get bad we sometimes forget that there are a lot of us going through the same thing! we had a bit (huge) of a (typical) post-separation fight last night where i got all anxious about stuff which drives him nuts. we talked about doing a little trip together in a month but it’s not locked down yet. sigh.
yay for a visit! are you going to him or the other way around?
Post # 15
@gut_feeling: Ugh we have those fights often after a visit. They usually end with me sobbing on the phone. 🙁 It’s so tough because you get almost used to not seeing them and then suddenly you’re with them pretty much 24/7 and then going back to life without them is SO hard!
I’m going to visit him which is always better because there is more to do in his town then in mine (he lives in a city where I live in the very pretentious suburbs of another city).