(Closed) Saying I love you

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I will add… one of controling exes said ” I love you”, and “I’m praying for you” 10X a day…. I REALLY disliked it. Came across a desperate and became a pet peeve.

Post # 17
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

No, I can usually count on one hand how many times in a year we say it, and in those cases I always initiate it. He finally (after 11 years!) has gotten to the point where he can say it back almost comfortably. lol.

It was weird for me for a few years because my family is very affectionate and I tell my parents everyday that I love them. However, my husband’s family is a different story and he was never raised to say ” I love you.” Ever.

It’s all good though, my H shows his love for me in many other ways.

If I noticed a change in his behavior that seemed drastically different from normal though, I would definitely be concerned. Although I would first want to find out if there was anything causing him extra stress/pressure lately.


Post # 18
2418 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

We say it more than once a day and either one of us initiates it.

Post # 19
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: The Mansion at Valley Country Club

We both say it multiple times per day. I’d be concerned if I were the only one initiating. My Fiance and I initiate equally.

Post # 20
5109 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

We say it several times a day, both of us initiate. I would be totally concerned if all of a sudden neither of us said it for a whole day. 

I dated a guy for 6+ years that stopped saying it almost entirely after the first year. I still said it, but he would never say it back, save for maybe a couple times a year. He made excuses about how it isn’t special if you say it all the time and what not, I just think he was an ass.

Post # 21
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

SamGoesWest:  I do this, too! And not just with SO, but with my immediate family. It’s always I love you (too), bye! 

I don’t like to hear it every hour, but we are pretty automatic at least twice a day: when he/we leave for work, and once we are in bed for the night. 

Post # 22
1445 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

BrynneF:  Some of the best advice that we’ve gotten is to say “I love you” to each other every day without exception. Even when you’re mad, say it because it reminds you and reminds them. We’ve been trying to do that because we’d gotten into the habit of not saying it very much and just assuming that it was understood.

Post # 23
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

We say it probably at least a couple times a day. At least in the morning and always before going to bed. I honestly don’t know if I would notice if I was the one initiating all the time… You’ve given me something to be paranoid about! But if I did notice, I would pay more attention to his response. If he replies enthusiastically, I wouldn’t worry so much. However, if he kinda just grunts it back, I would be concerned.

Post # 24
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

We say “I love you” a few times a day. If he didn’t say it I’d know something was off. Just ask him if everything is alright.

Post # 25
197 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: Victoria Wedding Chapel

We usually say it at least once a day (if not more). If there has been a day recently we haven’t said it, I didn’t notice. However, I would definitely notice if I started being the only one initiating it. That’s kind of odd.

Post # 26
1387 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Yes, we say it once a day – more than once a day. We both initiate – pretty  much anytime we’re talking and one of us leaves. I would begin to worry and wonder if this stopped suddenly. We’ve been together seven years so I’d notice. 



Post # 27
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

We say it multiple times a day, but when I’m angry, I don’t want to say it. Fiance is sweet about wanting me to know he loves me even when we argue, so he’ll always say, “I love you” and I’ll always respond with, “Whatever” but it does lighten the mood. He joked recently that on our side by side tombstones, his would read, “I loved her all my life.” and mine would read, “Whatever.” 🙂

I think each couple creates their own culture, though, and saying I love you doesn’t always mean a lot when actions don’t match up. You might like the book The Five Love Languages. 

Post # 28
560 posts
Busy bee

Yes and yes! It is very important!

Post # 29
266 posts
Helper bee

We say “I love you” everyday, multiple times a day. I feel weird if it’s not the last thing I say to him at night.

Post # 30
11520 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

BrynneF:  we rarely say goodbye without saying ‘i love you’ we say it several times a day.  I would find it weird if all of a sudden we stopped doing that.  Even if I’m running to the grocery store or something stupid, we always say I love you if we’re saying goodbye.

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