(Closed) Saying no to the dress

posted 6 years ago in Dress
Post # 32
Member
9129 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

View original reply
Milibee13:  Just wanted to say that you are too sweet!  What a nice offer to the OP.

Post # 33
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

View original reply
Bio_Chemist:  Well, at the risk of being overly forward, may I suggest talking with your fiance about expectations? It is going to be hard if you expect your unsupportive family to be happy for you. Because if they’re not normally supportive, trust me, they will come up with allllllll kinds of ways to surprise you with new frustrations. (Even if they don’t mean to be hurtful.) I think we are often expected to have ideal family situations, and the truth is that sometimes we don’t. Not trying to be a debbie downer, just saying that your family may or may not be happy. I think that you can ensure a happier day if you say, “You know what? This day is about our families, but it’s also about US,” and decide which things you’ll bend on and which you NEED to do your way. Compromise, of course, but also don’t feel 100% obligated to please other people. You can’t control other people and their feelings. And you’re a grown-ass adult, so don’t put your own happiness aside. Your happiness matters, too.

And it may be worth talking w/ your fiance and a counselor — whether a therapist or maybe religious leader if you’re religious — before all of this gets underway. Because if you really do NOT want a wedding and you’re dreading the event, that’s not good. Perhaps there is a way that the two of you, with a neutral party, can talk about what kind of event would feel like *you* and make you BOTH happy about it. Just saying this because I’ve seen friends reluctantly get into a big fat wedding and they aren’t happy, and other friends had an honest talk and compromised early on, and they wound up enjoying their weddings (or elopements!) much much more. Good luck!

 

Post # 36
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I totally understand what you mean, it’s really expensive for a one time use but I still want to look nice for the day. Asians tend to rent bridal dresses, which I wish they did here… bigger cities with larger Asian population like NYC and LA have bridal salons where you can rent dresses.

I ended up buying one from David’s bridal which has affordable nice dresses. Otherwise you can visit bridal salons, they often have samples that are discounted.

Post # 37
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
Bio_Chemist:  Haha it’s not a bad thing. We just ended with up more time to plan the wedding since I won’t be shipping out with the military for a few more months (we thought I was leaving the 12th of this month but they moved my ship date). So it’s nothing bad we are just having a “normal” wedding now and I got a different dress to wear. If you don’t like it that’s ok, but it’s not tainted by bad juju or anything. I just decided on a different dress.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 11 months ago by  Milibee13.
Post # 38
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

View original reply
Bio_Chemist:  You don’t have to wear a dress! Watters/Wtoo has a cute romper. You can always do a pantsuit or jumpsuit (J Crew has a cool one). You do YOU.

Post # 40
Member
1140 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

All that money for a dress I’m only wearing once is one of the reasons we decided to elope!

Post # 41
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Or you could be truly fabulous and completely comfortable. Just look to Bianca Jagger for inspiration

Post # 42
Member
581 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
Bio_Chemist:  

-White bridesmaid dresses.

-White prom dresses (or a coloured prom dress if that’s your thing)

-Formal dresses (that are not specifically “wedding”). They come in white and white-ish colours as well sometimes.

-Sample sales

-David’s Bridal?

Post # 43
Member
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

View original reply
julies1949:  The challange with Bees asking for opinions is that if they already have the dress in hand, no one wants to tell them their dress looks like crap.

<div style=”overflow: hidden; color: #000000; background-color: #ffffff; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;”><br />ha so true. Just wanted to say that I always enjoy your comments as I’m reading the Bee and how no-nonsense and helpful you are :-)</div>

Post # 44
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Everyone has different priorities when it comes to their wedding and what they are willing to spend the big bucks on.

I really didnt like the idea of spending thousands of dollars on a dress I would wear only once, but I had accepted that that was what I might have to do. In the end, I asked my sister to come with me to a second-hand clothing store to check out the dresses there, just for sh*ts and giggles. I had shopped there for costume stuff before and knew they had a wedding dress section, but most of the dresses were pretty 80’s, so I figured we could just get a few laughs. I ended up finding a beautiful dress for $385. They actually had quite a lot of nice dresses when I looked a bit closer and while we were looking, another 3 girls also came in with the same idea.

So yeah, definately dont rule out second-hand stores. If your not too picky on what you want in a dress, you might just get a real bargain.

A friend of mine who is getting married in just over a month went a different route and bought a bridesmaid dress for her wedding dress… so thats another option too.

Good luck!

Post # 45
Member
706 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
Bio_Chemist:  Like a tampon!!!!! HAHAHA I love that description!

It’s true though, if anything is in white and could possibly be used for a wedding the price seems to become outrageous. I’ve bought my dress from Dolly Couture. Still more than I wanted/expected to spend, but a lot less than the thousands in this country! And none of them were practical and what I wanted anyway!

The topic ‘Saying no to the dress’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors