- 11 years ago
wonderful reply, thank you! I truly get curious about these things and I think a lot of bees see it as an attack but its truly not. I agree with the aspect that one person’s desires cannot over ride the others for sure. Of course that is relevant on both sides of the issue, as you said.
For me, I just was not ready to marry because I didn’t want to have the mortgage, the other person to have to consider for all things from sleeping, to eating, to lounging to holidays and whatnot, wanted to travel a bit by myself and wanted the freedom of being able to move on a whim if an opportunity in the field came up. Plus, I’m divorced and know that marriage doesn’t change your relationship at all when you’re already living together, sharing finances and that kind of thing, so I don’t really see the need to shell out a bunch of money for a wedding when everything is already perfect to me. Luckily, my bf of 7 years feels the same way. If he wanted to marry, though, I would be okay with that now and we are considering it due to legal and financial benefits. But if he had acted the way I had described above and how I sometimes read some waiting bees acting, I probably would have had a huge decision to make. Honestly, being issued an ultimatum or expiration date for the relationship would turn me off to the actual person and I’m afraid for some people that this may also be the end result if they do that.
I think it’s difficult because one person may really want it and the other doesn’t and that is a very difficult compromise to make. My ex hubby and I divorced in a large part because he suddenly wanted children after swearing he never would and I did and still do not. You can’t really compromise on that type of thing without someone getting resentful and I kind of feel the same for marriage. It’s a tough thing, for sure.