(Closed) Says He's Not Ready

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 16
Member
869 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

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slomotion :  the queen of Weddingbee I didn’t catch that now this makes no sense!!! 

Post # 17
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Assuming that your now-deleted post was some fiction created because you were wishful and extremely young, I’d say that this sitauation shows that you’re probably not ready to be engaged.  Or that your boyfriend recognizes that you’re not maybe mature enough to marry yet.  

Post # 18
Member
1771 posts
Buzzing bee

If he is not ready, he is not ready. He is still very young and from what I have seen, most guys don’t even find their own self-identity until they are about 28.  But it was not very smart of him to bring up getting engaged and taking you ring shopping if he’s not ready.  That’s just leading you on and giving you hope that’s not there. Both of you need to mature still and experience the world more before getting engaged.

Post # 20
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee

I imagine he’s thinking:

“holy crap, I’m only 23” or “we’ve only been living together 9 months” … or “why Is this woman having a bridal shower when we aren’t engaged?…”

Post # 21
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

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slomotion :  you’re actually the best. Love this. She will probably never reply now but I am so curious! Maybe she told people he had the ring and was going to propose so they started talking bridal showers and planning, etc. before it was even official? Interesting…

Post # 22
Member
9755 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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nordiclight :  that’s what I assumed too! Then the total 180 he did would make sense to me if he suddenly feels that she is moving too fast/pressuring him/whatever it might be.

Im not trying to pile on OP  but if someone wants good advice they have to be honest about the whole thing.

Post # 23
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2016

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elilac87 :  if you don’t want to waste your time find someone else.

 

Read why men marry some women and not others

Post # 24
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

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slomotion :  100% agree! I mean, why lie? Even in her old post she could have said I am not engaged yet but let it slip to my family that we bought the ring and now they are pressuring me into having a bridal shower…totally legit! haha

Post # 25
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I understand his feelings. I am 23 and when my boyfriend proposed to me I FREAKED out. I love him, knew I wanted to marry him and yet when it happened my brain realized how young I am and and how much that would change things etc. etc. After some time I finally got excited and things like that. But 23 is really young. And you guys already live together, so what’s the rush? He bought you the ring, so he loves you and intends to do it. It sounds to me like he just needs some time to calm the freak out. 

Post # 26
Member
2274 posts
Buzzing bee

You are wasting your time, and he has told you his truth. He didn’t buy an engagement ring. He bought HALF of an engagement ring.

He says he is not ready. He means it. Make whatever decisions are in YOUR best interest and act accordingly.

Post # 27
Member
1171 posts
Bumble bee

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slomotion :  

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nordiclight :  

I agree that was my first thought. That she told her family they were already engaged and told them to keep it low key, assuming he was going to ask her on the trip to Jamacia and when it never came she freaked because how it she going to cover up her lie now?

I don’t blame the kid.

Post # 28
Member
10 posts
Newbee

Wow – it seems like you are not telling us the whole story – super shady!

Also, I would never pay for half of my engagement ring – that just doesn’t seem right to me.

Post # 29
Member
1751 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

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slomotion :  maybe he bought the ring, she felt the engagement was going to be in the next few days (on the trip), and started thinking ahead to showers?

its a good reminder to bees – the internet is forever! 

Post # 30
Member
5304 posts
Bee Keeper

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slomotion :  damn, we can still access deleted threads from here? lol I’m going to see if I can dig up that cringeworthy Santa thread I started a few years back laughing

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