(Closed) Says He's Not Ready

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 31
Member
5304 posts
Bee Keeper

Regarding the original post, because this isn’t the first time I’ve seen a situation like this come up on this site:  Guys are totally entitled to not be ready. BUT, do you know what guys who aren’t ready need to do? They need to Not. Take. Their. Partner. Ring. Shopping. I mean yeah, once in awhile shit happens and a guy who was sincere is now hesitant, but too often I think it’s just a stalling keep-her-happy-for-now tactic. A guy can not be ready all he wants, but he shouldn’t mislead his partner or make empty promises or leave her in limbo. Honesty is the best policy and it’s cruel to mislead someone that you’re on the same page when you’re not. 

Post # 32
Member
5304 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
honeytothebee :  I wouldn’t have minded sharing the cost of my ring- after all, if you’re getting married to someone you’re going to be sharing households, bills, finances etc- but I would have been pissed as all fucking get out if I paid for half the ring and was expecting a proposal and THEN he told me he wasn’t ready after all. NIce mindfuck that is. 

Post # 33
Member
10 posts
Newbee

View original reply
RobbieAndJuliahaha :  

I totally agree with your points you made – makes totally sense.

I would have been SO MAD paying for half and then nothing happened.

 

Post # 34
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
honeytothebee :  I offered to share the cost of my ring- after all, I wanted what I wanted, and I think the ring is…eh, an antiquated custom.  He declined, but sure, I’d pay half of my ring, or more, if I could afford it.  But to pay half and then not get a proposal?  Nope.  Eff that.  And if this story IS true, it can’t be returned at this point.

Post # 35
Member
9758 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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RobbieAndJuliahaha :  Yup I just googled the username and weddingbee and it pulled up the posts then you just click “cached” next to the title.

Post # 36
Member
355 posts
Helper bee

I can’t believe he made you pay for half a ring and now won’t give it to you. He took your money to cover half the cost and then just holds on to the ring you purchased for God knows how long. Until he’s “ready” which may or may not be in the next year. He doesn’t know yet. The whole thing seems..wrong.

Post # 37
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

Bee I’m sorry you’re in this situation. When I was 23 and being proposed to, it was really overwhelming though I loved my ex boyfriend and life without him was unimaginable. Going ring shopping, buying the ring and seeing the ring on my finger made me giddy with love. But about a month after that, it really got scary to think that I was 23 and getting married. I imagine he really loves you and really just needs some time to be ready, more ready.

Post # 39
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

My dad was very traditional towards me. He never let my husband sleep.over when we dated.

5 years into our relationship i flipped and asked him to marry me and he said no!!!! He said he didnt want to.put up w.my princess self and set his conditions. I was devastated  (im a beautiful girl and hes not cute so i was like wtf) well….. after swallowing my pride and meeting his conditions he proposed.  I saw the whole thing coming im way too observant and intuitive. 

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