(Closed) Says the words but hasn’t acted…

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
4366 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Yup.  So frustrating.  I know it’ll come… just have to wait patiently!

Post # 4
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It is frustrating!  I’m in no rush to get engaged/married but when the SO constantly talks about it, it makes me a little hesitate to find a new apartment or look at new jobs.  (We’re not living together; and, we live 1.5 hrs away from one another.)  Boo.

 

Post # 5
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@butterflylove:

Yes. I am totally in that position.

I even noticed last week that my SO has been looking into wedding venues for September 2012…but he hasn’t proposed yet! He even encouraged me to go to this wedding expo with my mom this weekend to “get ideas”. I’m going but I feel stupid attending as we are not engaged.

I too have sworn off talking about it (I think we are both doing Mr Bees pact right?!) but some days it’s hard. I feel like saying “if this is such a sure thing, then why haven’t you asked me yet!”. I don’t want to ruin something he has planned but sometimes I’m finding the keeping quiet tough. I find myself getting annoyed with him lately. Has that happened to anyone?

Ugh, bad waiting day, can you tell?

 

Post # 7
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Yep.  SO talks about our “future” kids all the time.  Makes random comments about wedding stuff.  He even told me he didn’t care if I tried on wedding dresses.  That shocked me, but his response was “you know its going to happen, you just dont know when”  UGGGHHH!!!  Im happy about the positive comments, but for crying out loud stop teasing and do it already…lol

 

Post # 8
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Its so nice to read everyone’s comments here and know I am not alone! I also feel grateful that my SO is sure about our future and loves me so much but sometimes I’m just like “let’s get a move on it!” Grant me patience bees! 

Post # 9
Member
4476 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@butterflylove:  Has he at least given you a timeline for engagement & marriage?  

Post # 10
Member
220 posts
Helper bee

Yes!  He has accidentally referred to me as his spouse, and even said “I consider us just as committed as any engaged couple.”  The mixed signals drive me crazy. 

 

Post # 11
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m in that position too, but we have also decided we are getting married this fall and are basically working on sorting out dates (he wants September for some “in his head” idea that he can’t pinpoint and I want August because it’s my last summer before graduation from college as a returning student and I would have the time and the mental capacity left over for all that goes INTO planning).

We’ve talked about which lodges we like better, where we want our catering, our rings (his is already in our house bc I found a great deal), what kind of dressing and flowers we want for the bridal party….the only thing missing is the engagement! It’s so frustrating and sometimes (even though he particpates in the planning too) I feel like a big idiot!

Post # 13
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

My friend’s boyfriend did this all the time. He’d say things like “I can’t wait to marry you” and “When we get married…” so one day she just told him to stop saying it if he wasn’t going to propose for real. He eventually did, about a year later.

I think he honestly thought he could gloss over the whole making-it-official thing if he just kep telling her that he considered them practically engaged.
 

Post # 14
Member
320 posts
Helper bee

 

I know exactly how you’re feeling girlie! As I think you might already know, your SO and my SO have this particular behavior in common. Luckily he doesn’t really do it much anymore, since i finally told him it bothered me back in November, but for a while there it felt like he would blurt out something really stupid related to our supposed ‘future wedding’ or future married-status any chance he would get. It was so constant and unnecessary, like he was doing it for his own validation, as if he felt like if he talked about us getting married enough it would excuse him from actually making an effort toward getting there. It was reeeeeeeeally annoying. My advice would be to tell him how annoying it is, I’m so glad I finally did!

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