(Closed) Scared I might find my proposal disappointing…..

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
902 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

How long have you guys been together?

My personal opinion is this:

If you want to get married to him so by why don’t you ask him then? 

Maybe he keeps pushing the date back to propose because you keep making him give you a timeframe and he feels pressured into doing it instead of feeling excited about doing it?

I don’t see how you can say you’re ready to move on if he doesnt propose but yet if he does and its not to your standards then you’ll be upset over it…

Poor guy.. can’t win either way it seems.

Post # 4
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

My dilemma is this though – What if I am disappointed with the proposal? I’m a girly-girl princess type and I expect OVER THE TOP!!!

so you have your bags half packed ready to move out and already borrowing trouble over the proposal that hasnt happened yet not being special enough?  i think you should chill, deal with the immediate issue at hand (your timeline) and focus on your relationship and communication.  goodluck

Post # 5
Member
66 posts
Worker bee

@beccybaby: That poor guy is under so much pressure! haha. I really hope he meets your timeline this time. Has he done over the top stuff in the past? Has he disappointed you in the past with gifts (birthday, anniversary, valentine’s etc)? If he’s done well with gifts/surprises up until this point, then just try to remember that and relax (I know easier said than done haha). It sounds to me like you have made your expectations really clear, so if he doesn’t meet them, then perhaps he has some underlying issues that he isn’t discussing.

I hope you get the fabulous proposal you are hoping for!

Post # 7
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I kind of know how you feel but if you want to know what I honestly think here it goes…

I told my now fiance that if by 5 years he had not figured out that I was the one that I wouldn’t waste my time. Maybe that sounds harsh, but I told him after we had been dating a couple years that I did not want to wait forever and that I thought 5 years at our age was sufficient enough time to know what your heart desires. In the time before we got engaged, his friend started dating a girl and they got married, his brother broke up with one girl then dated and proceeded to marry another, a friend of mine went into the navy, got married AND had a baby…

Finally, after our 3 year anniversary I stopped worrying about EVERYONE else. I was with my soul mate and I was HAPPY. 3 months later out of the blue he proposed to me and I was soooo suprised. It made it worth it to not push or prod because I wasn’t expecting it at all.

Sometimes you have to back off and let the guy think for himself…marriage is a HUGE step and with divorce rates just pushing over 50% some men may be hesitant. While I am NOT saying stay with him forever, let him know how hurt you are it hasn’t come yet and that you want to spend the rest of your life with him and want to know he feels the same…then back off for a couple weeks and maybe he will suprise you 🙂

Post # 8
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@beccybaby:

My perfect proposal was on a beach with no family or friends to witness it. He took me to the same place he gave me my promise ring and in a short sweet speech told me that no matter where life took him  he would always choose the paths that bring him closer to me…
There were sparks flying and yet, only I saw them. That was all that mattered….
Keep reminding yourself what marriage is all about and I hope you will not be disappointed! 🙂

Post # 9
Member
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think you should write out exactly how he should propose down to the last detail.  Be very specific.  If he strays from the gameplan, even a little bit, you should leave. 

Post # 10
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Sounds like a lot of pressure on how its done rather than the meaning behind it. After waiting almost 8 years, I had so many ideas of what I wanted the proposal to be. In the end the simple way he did it was perfect and it didn’t matter. It was a touching moment between the two of us and that’s what I’ll remember.

Post # 11
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@beccybaby:Wow, I understand what your saying but its the meaning behind it. I know that’s not what you want and I think he understands that so I really wouldn’t worry or stress about it, he knows what kind of a woman you are and he knows you mean business so just sit back and bask in the fading sunset of the “single” woman. It’s coming, be thankful for that! 

Post # 12
Member
3452 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Be happy that he’s proposing when he does it, no matter how it’s done.  Don’t dwell on the fantasy proposal you have planned out in your head.  Instead, focus on what really matters.  A man will be asking you to be his wife.  That’s the most important element.

 

Post # 13
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think if the fact youve literally packed your bags and are ready to leave if he doesn’t propose, says everything.

If you’re ready to leave him over not proposing, how much do you really value your relationship?

 

 

Post # 14
Member
1660 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’ll admit that my proposal (after waiting 4 years) was somewhat disappointing, but I did get over it (and quickly). I realized that what I really truly wanted was the marriage and not the proposal. The proposal was just a means to an ends. I know it’s a once in a lifetime event, and I agree that it should be special… however, it’s special for what it symbolizes, even if the details are not everything you imagined. My Darling Husband said nothing romantic when he proposed to me… just got down on one knee and asked me to marry him while we were walking in a park/swamp… just an hour or so after I’d come home from work tired/upset and he’d spoiled the surprise by telling me that my bad day had foiled his proposal plans (and proceeded to tell me how he’d planned to propose that night by recreating our first date, which was sweet, but apparently ruined by my mood). Sigh.

Try your best to focus on the relationship, the fact that you get to spend your life with the man you love, and get excited about wedding planning!!!  Good luck… I hope he proposes soon.  

Post # 16
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

If you’re ready to leave him over not proposing, how much do you really value your relationship?

in fairness to OP, by her history she and her guy have been together for over 2yrs and if he has said he will propose and shes been waiting and waiting and waiting – i feel as long as the conditions are correct (they both want it, they are old enough/financially ok) then its ok to say at some point (after timelines ignored) no proposal=im moving out.   

but then again im impatient

The topic ‘Scared I might find my proposal disappointing…..’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors