Post # 1
So this is a Bridesmaid winge, and I apologise for the long rant, but I am so stressed at the moment!
I’m MOH at my bestfriends wedding and I’m really concerned that I am going to ruin her wedding photos.
I’m not as thin as I once was, probably around a 12/14 UK size now, 10/12 US. And even though I am completley honoured of course to be included in the wedding (I am her only Bridesmaid), I am terrified of what I am going to do to her bridal party photos. I am really short (5ft) which doesnt help, really big chest and just all round look terrible at the moment. (Why is it weight comes off and tones up so much easier when we are below 25?!).
The actual bridesmaid dress is gorgous and the bride was considerate of my ‘fat arm’ problem so it comes with a vintage draped kind of cape attached. It is long, dusky pink and covered in mesh overlay in a sequin pattern. But I’ve discovered the lining sticks to my gut which I didnt notice until recently. It is really noticable when standing and looking at me full length.
I know she will have all the bride and groom shots which are going to be beautiful of course, but I keep looking through gallery after gallery of a Bride with her bridesmaids having these gorgeous laughing candid shots, whilst knowing in the pit of my sinking stomach, any candids, or posed photos of me are going to look hideous. My one major concern is that she is having me walk behind her down the aisle during the church ceremony and my huge wide load hips are going to block her beautiful moment when having photos taken from behind. Her photos of that gorgeous moment and her breathtaking dress is going to have my fat behind blocking it.
As always I have left it to the last minute to diet (I try and fail miserabley everytime, so last minute seems to kick my butt in to gear), but I only have 3-weeks today until the wedding and I really don’t think it is going to make a difference.
Has anyone else ever had these terrible thoughts? I have read through so many blog posts where a bride says her bridesmaid is too fat etc. that I am now even more on edge!
My friend has never once commented on my weight gain and she is nothing but loving and considerate towards me (it took us 8-months to find a bridesmaids dress), so these thoughts are my own of course, but I am so self-concious and my body not camera friendly that I am terrfied shes going to look back at her photos and wish she had never picked me.
Has anyone else been through the same experience before that can share some tips on how to deal, how to stand to be more flattering etc. I’m totally freaking!
Post # 2
Your friend loves you for who you are, and I’m sure that’s why she asked you to be a part of her day!! She wants you there just as you are, and probably couldn’t imagine the day without you! You could stand to take it easy on yourself, Bee! I know it can be so hard to do, but we tend to be our own biggest critics, and the thoughts we think of ourselves are so much worse than the thoughts of anyone else around us. Don’t be afraid to love on yourself a little, and cut yourself a break. You will be beautiful, curves and all, and your friend will be so thankful that you were there to support her!
Friends aren’t meant to be props, anyways. ❤️
Post # 3
Being a size 10/12 will not stop you from being a beautiful Maid of Honor. I’m thinking the bride chose you to stand up with her because she loves you and wants you by her side. Carrying what you perceive to be extra weight doesn’t prevent you from being the perfect person to be in her pictures.
Check out The Body is Not an Apology. Rather than worrying about losing any weight before the wedding (or before anything else), spend the next three weeks loving on yourself. Get a couple massages and plenty of rest. Drink plenty of water and be kind to yourself so you will be radiant in the pics and feeling happy for your friend on her special day.
She chose you because she wants you there. You. Exactly as you are.
Post # 4
Share your concerns with the bride-to-be or the photographer, whose job is to make you feel comfortable and look your best. Photographer can give you tips on how to pose and where to stand.
Post # 5
What???? The point of photos is to show the people you love. You are a person she loves. I think the best thing you can do is smile – genuine happiness radiates through photos.
Post # 6
Oh don’t worry about it at all! She’s your best friend and she loves you- the only way you could “ruin” her bridal photos is by not being in them!
Post # 7
You are so incredibly critical of yourself! It’s going to be ok! She didn’t pick you for the photos, she picked you because she loves you. When she looks back at pictures she will think of your friendship. She already knows how you look, it isn’t to take her by surprise (and I’m sure you look a lot more lovely than you think). A photographers job is to make people look good – they can give you tips and will help you. You can tell them in advance that you are self-concious if you like and then they will probably give you extra direction. How far behind her are you walking? The photographer might be able to crouch on the side to get photos just of her? (NOT because you won’t look good but just in case the bride does want some uninterrupted photos.) Just remember to stand up straight with shoulders back and core strong. That makes a huge difference. Also don’t stand front-on the the camera, angle your body slightly away and turn your head to face the camera. That’s a classic tip! Holding a bouquet is actually quite a flattering arm pose because your arms are held out away from your body. Is the lining of your dress sticking to you by static? Because you can get anti-static spray!
Post # 8
your friend asked you to stand with her because she loves you and cause thinks you are an amazing friend. remember that. additionally, she probably does think you are beautiful, inside and out, because you most likely are! so forget about all the things that are “wrong” with you and focus on all the great things about yourself.
Post # 9
First of all, it sounds like you have a wonderful beautiful friendship and to reiterate, she loves you, and she doesn’t give one damn hoot what size you are! I totally agree with the other responses. 3 weeks is plenty of time to hydrate, treat yourself, and just take it easy–no need to do any crazy crash diet or manic exercise, try maybe stretching and walks or jogs (or impromptu bedroom pretend-dance-offs to your favorite cheesy songs, yes especially if you’re by yourself! I personally hate running but if I feel pent up and bloated I always feel better after moving to some booty shakin song even for like 10 minutes) to relieve stress. I know it seems like it’s easy for the Internet mob to say “That’s nonsense, so just try not think about it! Don’t stress!” because everyone knows we live in a f*cked up world where women are made to feel constantly judged for our bodies whether you’re a size 10/12 or 00. Also keep in mind almost everyone feels a little uncomfortable in front of cameras (unless they do it for a living obvs) especially on the big day. My advice when the photographer is snapping away and you start feeling overwhelmed, extra awkward or self-conscious and feel like you’re forcing your smile so hard it’s making your cheeks cramp? Just take a deep breath, and think of all of the inside jokes you share with your friend, all the hilarious situations you’ve been in with her where you both laughed so hard one of you cried and the other peed her pants a little bit. All the times you’ve consoled and confided in eachother, kept eachother’s secrets, etc.? Think of those things, and that will come across in the photos and it will be beautiful, I promise!
Post # 10
Sweetheart, with love and kindness you really need to work on your self worth. People are beautiful in all sizes. What could help you accept yourself in the mirror? You should talk to a professional so you can learn to love yourself. Also, and I would recommend this to anyone that was insecure- maybe a modeling class? Groupon generally has deals. That can help you feel more comfortable in front of the camera and help you learn how to hold yourself best. You need to feel comfortable in your skin.
Post # 11
- Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base
She chose you because she loves you. She knows how beautiful you are. You’re only concern should be being who you are. I wish I could wave a magic wand and take your insecurities away.
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2016 - Theater
Life isn’t a curated Pinterest photoshoot! Don’t be so silly, little bee! Your friend picked you because you are her best friend and very, very important! It’s important that you can see yourself in a positive light and although insecurities probably won’t disappear in three weeks, you should work on embracing a much kinder opinion of yourself.
You’re going to look great, and the pictures are going to be amazing no matter what, because you are an important person taking on a very important role on a very important and special day.
Post # 13
I am really sorry you are feeling this way. I wish I had something magic to say to make your situation all better. I am seconding the pp who said all weddings are not a Pinterest photo shoot. Most weddings have bridesmaids of all different sizes. I love the photos of my bridal party, not because of how anyone looks, but because they are of some of the people I care about the most, and it just meant so much to have them there with me that day.
I was extremely stressed out by how I was going to look in my own wedding photos, and I was upset with some of them, but I just had to remind myself that I am my own harshest critic, and again the photos are a reminder of one of the best days of my life.
Your friend picked you and she wants special photos with you, you won’t ruin them. Please be kind to yourself and remember that you are in this wedding because you are important and your friend loves and cares about you.
Post # 14
1- she knows exactly whay you look like and loves you. Not inspite of you tummy or hips, but because you are a wonderful friend. She wants you apart of this day and in the photos too. 😉
2- shapewear. It will not make you thin, but it will smooth things and just mak eyour more comfortable about your tummy. KimK wears 2 shapeswears under bodycon dresses, so it is nothing to be ashamed of.
3- not because I think you should, but if you really want to drop some weight quickly, I would start a low carb/ketogenic diet asap and drink tons of water. I bet you could lose 10lbs and a lot of bloating and it may boast your confidence for the big day.
Post # 15
she loves you for you and could care less about your weight gain. But I feel your pain. If you feel the dress is “sticking” to your problem areas, perhaps some shapewear would help. I highly recommend the shorts style that goes all the way up to your bra. As jcent said, even the thinnest of celebrities wear shapewear to make their dresses skim their bodies smoothly.