- 5 years ago
So, I gave my SO an ultimatum, about marriage and smoking.
My SO smokes, and I hate it, and my family hates it. After they met her all I heard was she’s really nice, but she smokes so much (and this was after she had cut back from her usual! ) and my mom would comment on how her clothes and my clothes after I was with her would smell like smoke and stink.
Ever since we started dating I made it clear that I wanted her to quit, and that if she didn’t plan on quitting then she should end things right then instead of stringing me along.
Because we have a very seriously been talking about marriage lately, it is even more important! I don’t want our house and/or clothes once we move in together smelling like smoke.I don’t want cigarette butts everywhere outside. I don’t want our future kids growing up seeing her smoking and thinking that it is cool and okay. And the most important reason, I don’t want her doing something so horrendous for her health! I’ve had several people I know, people I was close to, get and even die from lung cancer recently, and my SO is very much of the “that won’t happen to me” mindset. I’m fairly certain I weighs due if something like that happened to her, especially because of something that could have been avoided.
So I finally gave her an ultimatum: either quit or I will not marry and build a life with you. Now I’m scared the proposal will never happen, because after three years she is still smoking, so my confidence in her quitting is gone. I think I may have shot my marrying her in the foot, but I had to stand up for what I believe, didn’t I?
I don’t know how long I’m willing to wait to see if she quits, as of right now I’m not prepared to leave, but I am firm in what I said.