(Closed) Scared of Being a Pest, Advice Needed SVP :)

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
485 posts
Helper bee

There is nothing wrong with telling him that you don’t want him to spend lots of money on your ring. He might even be relieved to hear that.

I told my Boyfriend or Best Friend that I don’t want an expensive ring either. About 5 months ago we agreed on a price range, and after that I sent him an email with some pictures of rings I like within that price range. Maybe you can do something like that, just tell him that it’s for future reference and you don’t expect him to go ring shopping immediately πŸ˜‰

Post # 4
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think first, you should bring up price range (and point out why: the trip, savings, etc). Then I think introducing him to alternative stones online, as I don’t think guys in general KNOW of the other options to diamonds (look how pretty, and how much less expensive!).

I don’t feel like it should be awkward or “bad” for you to bring it up. Your opinion matters in this, especially when it may be different from what he’s expecting. Just approach it the way you’d approach a house, a car, other things. Price range, options, preferences. πŸ™‚

Post # 6
Member
485 posts
Helper bee

I resent that men who want to marry their girlfriends are seen as romantic, while women who want to marry their boyfriends are seen as ‘desperate’.

I’d say bring it up some other time, quite casually, like during a weekday while you’re having dinner.

Post # 8
Member
485 posts
Helper bee

Haha I can see that wine might be good for the courage. However, I’d still say do it some other time and bring it up in casual conversation. See his reaction to it and take it from there.

Post # 9
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I wouldn’t do it on your Valentine’s dinner night. I think he’ll expect it, and would be happily surprised to NOT talk about it. haha.

I agree with a PP; do it on a random week day when you’re both in fairly good moods. πŸ™‚ You can have wine then too. πŸ˜‰

Post # 10
Member
222 posts
Helper bee

I have to agree with BellsforHer. I think bringing it up at a romantic time might completely ruin it (and the romance!). If you talked about it a month ago, you could always wait until mid-March and then casually bring it up.  

Post # 13
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

When I want Fi to know what I like, I leave it open on my computer, BIG on my monitor and walk away. Sometimes if I REALLY want him to know, I will ask him to check something for me on my laptop. Or I will say something on a mutual friends wall on FB. It isn’t you telling him, it is him “figuring it out”. I’m just subtle like that. But why not say something like “Oh I was reading about the Royal wedding and her ring costs *blah*, I think that is INSANE! I would much rather have a blah blah blah ring, it’s only like blah blah amount.” That way it isn’t like you are telling him telling him, it’s in conversation.

Post # 14
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

There is nothing wrong with bringing it up.. You should be able to talk to him about whatever. 

Post # 15
Member
962 posts
Busy bee

I was in your same position. We’d had a discussion prompted by a “tiff” and, consequently, we established a timeline. THEN I started thinking about the ring….So, what I ended up doing was leaving him a picture of my dream ring with a cute message attached to it and details of what I liked (white gold, sidestones not too big, don’t spend too much, size 6 finger, I love you).

the ring I loved was a threestone. My bf always jokes that he would love a threesome (which is NEVER happening) so, on the picture of the three stone ring I wrote, “Look baby, this is my type of threesome.” It was a personal joke. When he found the piece of paper he thought it was hysterical. He actually said, “I want to get this framed and keep it forever.” He also told me what a relief it was to have SUCH detailed instructions re: what I wanted. This makes sense, since he has a difficult time even picking out a shirt at Kohls. LOL

So, my advice is to leave a little “hint” around. Just make sure it is fairly detailed and gives plenty of guidance. That way, you get your dream ring and communicate what you want without killing the romance.

 EDIT: I just saw your update. I need to learn to read the whole thread before I respond.

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