Post # 1
I’m almost 24 and I’ve never once gone to see the “lady doctor” (as my grandma calls it). I’m absolutely petrified at the thought of somebody going for a dig down there, and so I’ve been putting it off for several years now. Thinking of going actually makes me a little nauseous.
However, since I’m getting married next May and have zero desire to have children at this juncture in my life, I’ve got to get on that. I know that they recommend you give yourself at least 3 months to adjust to a birth control regimen, and I’m sure it’s going to take me a few tries to actually make myself walk in there, so I’m starting now.
I’m wondering if anybody has any tips or tricks to deal with the massive anxiety this is causing me. I’m definitely not comfortable with a man working down there, so I’m already working to find a female doctor. I’m just not sure what to do beyond that. Any advice??
(P.S. I don’t need people explaining to me why I need to go see an OB-GYN, the importance of maintaining reproductive health, etc. I know all of this. You don’t need to tell me.)
Post # 3
@miz fizzix: awwwwww pumpkin!! its so natural to be scared. i was terrified also! first just amke sure you get a female doctor….secondly have a meeting with her one on one…no exams….just to get comfortable. Good luck!
Post # 4
@miz fizzix: I don’t know anyone that enjoys going to see the “Lady Doctor”. I usually get a bit anxious prior to my visit, but know that I need to go (too many friends and family members have had health issues). What I would recommend is that you schedule an appointment early in the morning. This would allow you less time to worry about it. I would also recommend that you research about some relaxation strategies. For me, simple breathing techniques help to relax me. Lastly, find a “Lady Doctor” that you can relate to. Meet her first and tell her that your anxious about the visit. Ask her to tell you what she is doing during the exam, so you know what to expect. Most of the time, the visits are short. It practically takes you longer to undress than it does for her to inspect your girlie regions. Good luck!!
Post # 5
- Wedding: March 2012 - Zama Beach Club, Isla Mujeres, Mexico
I cried the first time I went lol 😀
I was 18 and very scared and the doctor was so mean to me!
After that I changed Drs and now I dont absolutely dread going every year. I dont like it, but I dont hate it either.
Im not gonna sugar coat it because its not fun at all but it lasts all of 10 minutes and its nothing you cant handle 🙂
Post # 6
I wasn’t terrified but I know why it makes you nervous. But really they aren’t digging around, you don’t feel them that much (except the speculum), and a good doctor should explain everything that they are doing so you aren’t caught off guard. Unfortunately, I’ve gone to lady doctors so many times that I could probably take a nap while they are working.
Post # 7
I get super anxious when I go to the lady doctor too, I tense up and she practically has to pry my legs apart when I get onto that stupid table. But, in the end, I just tell myself, this is her job and it’s for the benefit of my own health. I’d rather be safe and healthy! Just try to keep your cool about it, it really isn’t as bad as you think it is and it always goes by very fast. Good luck!! You will be fine
Post # 8
Wear an I-pod and close your eyes 🙂
Been there! I’t sucks but it will be over soon!
Post # 9
i was terrified, too! but don’t worry, it hardly takes any time at all, and your doctor will be professional about it. don’t be afraid to voice your nervousness to her; i’m sure she’s used to this and will do her best to make you feel comfortable. on my first visit, she used smaller “equipment” on me since i wasn’t sexually active, so it’s likely that your doctor would have that option, too. in all honesty, i find visiting the lady doctor easier than going to the dentist! XD
Post # 10
I started going when I was 20. The only reason I went was cause I just lost my virginity and wanted to go on birth control. OOPS hahah It’s a little uncomfortable, but nothing to be worried about. Remember it’s only once a year or so! The procedure isn’t that bad and if you have a good doctor you will hardly feel it. It’s their job to make you feel comfortable. It’s also very fast.
Post # 11
I agree with the people who recommended having a consultation first. My first gyno experience was with a dr who had a horrible bed side manner, and all she did was lecture me about how it was wrong to be having sex before marriage. During my exam.
If you are already anxious make sure you find someone who will make you feel more comfortable. So, take as much control over the situation as you can, and interview a couple of doctors before you take the plunge.
Honestly, it’s not the most pleasant experience, but it is over much quicker than you think. Also, just to give you some perspective, a bikini wax is more uncomfortable than a pap smear imo.
Post # 12
Make an appointment with a female doctor or nurse practitioner for sure! I actually liked going to a nurse practitioner vs an ob/gyn because I felt like she was able to spend more time with me and just had more time to listen to my concerns. (Not saying an ob/gyn won’t- a lot of times they are just booked very tightly). ABSOLUTELY tell them that you are nervous during your visit! What helped me was to talk through it- ask questions, just make smalltalk, etc. It helped take my mind off of the exam. And the exam is really fast. They will do a breast check, then do the pelvic exam. The only part that is really uncomfortable is the pap smear and it feels like the cramps you get before you get your period- not really painful but just kind of annoying.
Maybe try doing some yoga or deep breathing before your appointment, book early in the morning so you can get it over with, and remember that attitude is everything- if you are relaxed and comfortable, the appointment will be a lot better than if you are scared and nervous. It sounds crazy, but I have a chronic gynecological condition and just visualizing a positive experience got me through what could have been some painful stuff (including surgery!).
Also, if you have a BFF or friend you feel really comfortable with, ask them to go to the appointment with you. Sometimes it helps to have someone to talk to and joke with to take your mind off of what’s going on downstairs 🙂 🙂
Good luck, you will wonder what you were so worried about after it’s over!
Post # 13
@Eva Peron: I totally didn’t know you were allowed to listen to an iPod… That might help, though I’d have to turn the volume up pretty loud…
@Ms. Peach: I can’t believe your doctor DID that… I would have probaly turned her in to an ethics board or something. I’ve never had a bikini wax (same fear), so I don’t have a reference frame there, but I’ll take your word for it!
@laceywings: Oh man…I hate the dentist too. Hopefully it will actually be easier for me too.
@melisslp:I’m hoping I can find somebody who will be nice and allow me to interview them first. I don’t know how often they do that stuff, so I guess I’ll have to find out!
Post # 14
@Eva Peron: Agree with the I-Pod and closing your eyes!
I hateeeee it so badly, to the point that when my gyno moved, I just went to my regular dr for that….Let’s just say that she REFUSED to see me for gyno purposes because I was such a baby about it.
Then, I found a really nice, patient gyno for the past 2 years (but she also moved away…AHHH!). I just bring some music and close my eyes…and I’ve even had to take a valium before to chill me out beforehand. I think its the waiting/anticipation that’s the worst. Its pretty painful for me, but its just one of those things you have to get used to doing. And once its over, its over for a whole year!
Because of my extreme anxiety over this, I am really nervous about TTC next year and all the procedures that go along with pregnancy/delivery.
Post # 15
Once you go you’ll realize it’s not bad! Prior to 1-2 years ago, I had only gone for gyn appointments in clinics/student health centers and I never had a bad experience.
After I graduated I had to find a doctor with an office and made an appointment with a female. They ended up cancelling on me last minute and cancelling, which was not bueno bc I needed a new prescription ASAP. They were able to squeeze me in with a man, much to my dissapointment.
Well, he’s actually be wonderful! When I came for my first appointment we sat in his office before the exam and he introduced himself, asked me about myself in general (where I had gone to school, what I had did for a living, etc) and made me feel very comfortable. And then he talked to me about any concerns I had before we went to the exam room. At this point, I’m not anxious about going in for my annual anymore so last time I went we literally chatted the whole time he was doing the exam, it was kind of funny. His daughter is getting married at my church and at a sister site of my venue, so we had lots to talk about.
But for your first time they will definitely talk you through all the steps. You’ll do fine!
Post # 16
I’m bad. I’m a nursing student, been sexually-active for three years, and still haven’t gone. I am TERRIFIED of speculums and having people rooting around in my lady parts — I used to be frightened of sex, all because of a stupid tampon incident in middle school.
Anyways, I totally understand. I don’t really have any advice, but I just wanted to empathize, I guess, and let you know you’re not the only one who feels like this.