scared to ask bridesmaids

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
2157 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Just ask them! They are your close friends! It doesn’t matter so much who they had at their weddings (sisters, cousins, childhood best friends, college roommates). If you think you’ll have fun there’s really no downside 🙂

Post # 3
Member
13046 posts
Honey Beekeeper

View original reply
rvrmtn10 :  Just because you were not in their bridal party does not mean they don’t feel close to you. Maybe they had sisters or SILs or older friends. Maybe  they were the type to put an inappropriate emphasis on symmetry. Asking you could have also meant opening up a can of worms with other friends. 

Go ahead and ask. I’m sure they will be honored. 

Post # 4
Member
3833 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

If they are your close friend I think they will be thrilled! I’m sure they won’t judge you or turn it down. I think one of my bridesmaids probably has closer friends than me, but that doesn’t mean we’re not close. Ask the people you would like to have there with you and it will be ok.

Post # 5
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2019

I am in the same situation! I have lots of friends who I see daily, but like literally 2 close friends who I rarely ever see (one I havent seen in a year!) I am not having formal bridesmaids who will stand with me, but I asked my two friends to do a spa day the day before and get ready with me the day of the wedding. Typical bridesmaid stuff, without the ceremony part.

They were both SUPER happy. Like, more than I expected. The girl I havent seen in a year has a lot of friends who she is close to so I thought it would be awkward, but I think she was really flattered. I just told them that out of all of my friends, they are the ones I like the best, even though we rarely see each other lol

Post # 6
Member
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I initially told or asked them they were going to be a bridesmaid.  Only ones I didn’t ask were brothers girlfriend and fiancee sister for obvious reasons. I joked around with my brother that he better not break up with his girlfriend of two years 😂. 

Post # 7
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I had a girlfriend that I had known since high school but we were never super close. The majority of our friendship revolved around going to the bar together or going shopping together, I was pretty dumbstruck when she asked me to be her Maid/Matron of Honor, but she said that I was her closest girlfriend and that she thought I would be the best fit for helping her de-stress during the planning process and day of. I was shocked, but honoured, so I of course said yes. Throughout the course of her engagement we got SO much closer. Long story short, she ended up losing her dad a few months before the wedding and I was right there by her side through it all. I now consider her one of my very best friends. Her asking me to be her Maid/Matron of Honor that day changed our friendship forever. I say go for it!!! 

Post # 8
Member
38 posts
Newbee

I was a lot more nervous asking my FI’s sister and sister-in-law than I was asking my three closest friends, but even with them I was nervous! I was worried that they would think I was asking them too soon, or that they would wonder why I’m asking my bridesmaids before he’s asking his groomsmen, I think some people are automatically just more nervous than others. I say you have nothing to worry about or be nervous about 🙂

Post # 9
Member
1360 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center

Honestly I know you’re supposed to pick people you feel the closest to, but as I’m neck deep in this process I’ve realized that it’s more important to pick people who have the personality for it and would enjoy doing it. I made my two best friends bridesmaids and they really couldn’t care less about this whole thing and aren’t really participating in the way I would hope/expect. I’m glad I didn’t ask either of them to be an Maid/Matron of Honor (I decided to opt out of an Maid/Matron of Honor entirely, something I kind of regret now but whatever). On the other hand, a friend that I’m not as close to has been so supportive and excited every step of the way. She has also been a Bridesmaid or Best Man multiple times before too so she just knows the process inside out, which helps haha. And in general, she’s just someone who goes out of her way for others and is also a very friendly, easygoing, bubbly and outgoing person whereas the others are more quiet, private, and passive (“we’ll see as the time comes”) type of people, a personality type very different than mine and doesn’t really lend itself well to wedding planning or being a bridesmaid in general (or at least, to taking initiative anyway).

Just saying it’s okay to cater the friend to the role – you might just become closer through the process!

Post # 10
Member
539 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

View original reply
rvrmtn10 :  Ask them! I have anxiety so it was reallyyyy difficult for me to ask my friends to be bridesmaids. My anxiety made me keep thinking, what if this person doesn’t see me as that close of a friend. But I pushed through and asked and everyone’s reactions were amazing and they have been so loving and supportive ever since, I have no idea why I spent sooo long being worried that people don’t like me as much as I like them. One of the girls I asked was a pretty new friend and I thought she’d be surprised and not want to because we haven’t been friends for years and years but she was SO thrilled to say yes. I’m really glad I pushed myself and asked them!

Post # 11
Member
10 posts
Newbee

You may regret it if you don’t, especially if you find out afterward that all of the other bridesmaids thought the price was outrageous, too, but no one was brave enough to say anything! If you hear back from the bride that your new dress options are welcome, get it done right away.

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