(Closed) Scared to be Happy

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
632 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

Maybe it’s relief mixed with disbelief? You are always expecting things not to turn out how you wanted them and now that things are working out, you don’t know how to react. So you become uneasy, it’s uncomfortable because you were expecting a conflict or to feel disappointed. 

Let yourself be happy and be brave 

Post # 3
914 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
sunshadebride :  I’ve also had a lot of family challenges in life (especially childhood) – we had tons of money problems, behavior problems, the list goes on. When I met my guy, I was happy, but for YEARS I was always waiting for the “other shoe to drop.” I wanted to be happy, but I was also so scared that it was all going to fall apart. I had been so acclimated to crisis that I couldn’t understand how things could just be okay!

Ultimately, recognizing it and acknowledging it helped a lot. I sometimes still feel that way, but it’s way less. 

You’ve already noticed what you’re feeling and experiencing, and that’s really important. Something that helped me was that when I was starting to feel scared about being happy, I would tell myself that it’s okay to feel that way, but it’s also okay to feel happy. Eventually the anxiety starts to fade!

Good luck, and I’m so happy that you found a great venue!

Post # 4
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

View original reply
sunshadebride :  I totally get this. I went through a time when it seemed like everytime everything was going well, all of a sudden something shitty happened and ruined it. This made me really cautious about letting my guard down and just being happy during the good times, because I feel like it’s going to be snatched away any minute. I have a difficult time turning my brain off and just enjoying the moment when all I can picture is all the things that could go wrong. I don’t have much of a solution, because I still struggle with this, but maybe therapy or meds could help with the anxiety?

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