Post # 1
So I am a young mother (20) and have a 1 year old son. Me and my Fiance just moved two hours away from our home for my Fiance job. I am getting ready to start up my new school that I have transfered too and I will be gone all day. Its for cosmetology and I am already half way done but have about 6 more months to go. Cosmetology has an all day long schooling schedule (8-4pm) and its looking like my only option for my son is Daycare. Hes never had a babysitter he didnt know. Let alone I have only spent a total of 10 nights away from him. (8 of those included his NICU stay when he was born). The other 2 was when he was an infant and my mother kept him. Needless to say im sooo very scared to send him to a daycare. The horror stories Ive heard I just cant take the risk. He screams at the site of my Fiance leaving the room (hes def. a daddys boy) and hes just so sweet I cant even think of someone not treating him right. I cant stand the thought of how he would feel if he was treated bad and the guilt I would feel.
Another thing thats been bugging me is we are in the middle of potty training and I dont want to go pick him up and some woman tells me how great my son did on the potty today and I didnt see it. Or I would hate it if he sees this other woman all day and accidently calls her mommy. Theres just too much to risk and I hate it, but its looking like our only option. Any other daycare mommys out there? Any moms with advice?????
Post # 3
… I worked at a preschool/ daycare for two summers. And I promise promise promise you that they stop screaming after about 20 minutes unless they’ve got SEVERE attachment issues, and then they are totally fine. It’s all a show and you only make it worse by being reluctant to leave.
Find a school that is bright, clean, has toys in good repair, and make sure they’re following the state ratios of children/ teachers. If you want to be on the REALLY safe side, look for a school that is NAEYC certified- the guidelines are really strict and while I don’t agree with their discipline measures (can’t ever tell a kid “no”) it’s a guarentee that they’re doing things safely.
Post # 4
My friend has had her 20-month old in daycare for a while. He seems to like being there, and it is probably great for learning social skills.
I hear you though, I would be scared too. Do a ton of reseach and get personal references!
Post # 5
Make sure they are state licensed, CPR certified and make sure that the adult to child ratio is acceptable for you. Don’t be afraid to pop in at unexpected times to check on your child. I have had nothing but wonderful experiences with my daughter’s daycare provider.
Post # 6
Thanks guys. I dont know……I just hear so many bad things that have happened to children at daycares I just cant imagine! I hate to hear tragady stories and I dont want my son to just be a daycares “accident”. Ya know that story that they say to other parents “well we’ve only had 1 mishap”. Well your one MISHAP ruined my sons life. When I was little I lived across the street from a lady to ran a daycare and I played often with the other kids. The daycare provider was a wonderful trustworthy lady who had the biggest heart, but since there was many kids there were many many accidents. I remember one time being about 6 years old and watching one of the toddlers setting their hand on the stove burner and burning themselves. I know when you get alot of kids together things happen. I just hate hearing about big things happening……Grrr I hate being so over the top about this!
Post # 7
My best advice would be going with a location that is not in someone’s home. Honestly, most of the bigger places do a better job, have a larger operating budget to do fieldtrips, projects, etc. As much as “Sally” might love your kids, is her home the safest place for your child and the 10 others? Maybe, but maybe not.
Also, ask if you can speak to any other parent, or try and be there for a tour when people are picking up/dropping off their kids and ask them some casual questions.
Post # 8
The younger your child is, the more important that the caregiver/child ratio is smaller. Younger children need more one on one attention. So if your son will be between 12-24 months, I’d recommend either a business or a home with 1-2 other children.
I’m not sure why you’re scared? What horror stories have you heard? I’ve never heard terrible things about daycare. Even when I was younger, I never had bad experiences at daycare. If anything, I looked forward to seeing the other kids and playing with all the cool toys and crafts that my family couldn’t afford.
Post # 9
I was always sad we didn’t go to daycare. Mom stayed at home with us until we were 13 or so (she went back to night school when we were like, 10) and we didn’t play well with other kids, nor did we have the social skills. I remember being bored and wishing I had friends to play with! I’m really hoping we can do part-time daycare so our kids have exposure to other kids at a young age. Help foster social skills and whatnot. My coworkers all have little kids and say they enjoy “play time” all day
Post # 10
This may not be the most comforting thing in the world, but tragedy can strike any time, even if you are there and you are doing your absolute best. That is the horrifyingly terrible thing about parenting: you love with every ounce of your being, but you can’t possibly make the whole world safe.
My best advice would be to do the research, feel as comfortable as you can (which I know will be hard) and get back to school. As a general rule, the better educated a mother is, the better off her child is. You are doing a good thing for him by finding a second source of income and serving as a good role model. Even if you decide to stay home more after you finish school, having your skills to fall back on if Fiance is ever out of work could really be key for your financial future.
Bad things can happen anywhere, but you are taking a risk that makes sense. It isn’t as if you are sending him to daycare so that you can go drink all morning. You are sending him to daycare in order to ensure a more secure life for him.
Post # 11
I think accidents happen everywhere – at daycare, with a babysitter, even at home. I remember some of my worst accidents when I was little – burning my hand on the stove, falling off of the top bunk – twice – happened at home with my parents and grandparents right there looking after me.
My brother and I were not sent to daycare and I always regretted not getting exposure to other kids and social skills at an early age. So I would definitely put my kids to daycare. Just choose a good one and you’ll be fine.
Post # 12
I’ll come in as a daycare owner….
Carefully pick a center. Feel them out. Parents always say our center is so bright and warm and inviting. I ALWAYS encourage parents to come in and bring their kids and see how they feel about the place. Let their kids see how we operate, meet the teachers and play for a bit.
At your child’s age transitioning into daycare will probably be rough at first. Don’t be surprised and don’t feel bad if he screams bloody murder when you leave. And remember it takes kids about a month to totally get use to going to daycare.
I totally wish you lived here. I could really help you more.
Post # 13
Oh and FYI kids never call us mommy. They def know who mommy is. Yes they spend a lot of time with us but we’re just they’re other family. That’s what we always say…all of our kids are family. Parents entrust their most valuable gifts to us to care for. You want your child to feel comfortable with his care givers. If he doesn’t after being there a while. I would have some questions.
Post # 14
I keep thinking of things…
I don’t know how it is where you live but all of our teachers and assistants have to come thru the door with the following education under their belt
1. intro to the child care profession
2. skills and strategies for childcare teachers
3. infant and toddler care
4. shaken baby syndrome: recognizing and preventing
5. SIDS: risk reduction training
7. first aid
8. child abuse and neglect: recognizing and reporting
and then they have to take 25 additional hours of continuing education training a year.
I don’t agree with the previous poster who said that NAEYC credentials guaranty a great daycare because that’s not ALWAYS the case. We’ve only had ours for about 5 years and we’ve been in the business for 14 years.
We are a licensed group daycare center (which basically means in a building and not a home). Our center is licensed thru the state and our license is on display for parents to view. This should be the same for any daycare that you choose.
Be sure they provide you with a parent handbook/policy so that you are fully aware of their policies and procedures.
Oh I could go on and on…..
Post # 15
Thank you, thank you, thank you! Its so reassuring to hear all the words of encouragement! Yes girls, It wouldnt be forever. Only about 6 months for all day. Then I’m only planning on working part time. We are very lucky enough to have my Fiance work a good job with benifits. So once my schooling is done I want to work part time. I wasnt planning on being a young mom but life happened and even being so young I cant imagine anything happening to my little guy. Nor would I trade him for the world. I just really need and cant wait to get my schooling transfered and done.
P.S. You might also see me on the wedding boards too! ALOT is going on right now. Emotional rollercoaster! So bear with me girls!!! Thanks again……Oh I love this site!
Post # 16
- Wedding: April 2010 - Wyndham Sugar Bay Resort, St. Thomas
I know my cosmetology school offered a part time school day – either 3 hours in the morning, afternoon, or night. Does your school offer part time? The downside is that it would take you twice as long to finish but the good thing is that you could maybe take the night schedule when your guy is home so you wouldn’t have to leave the little one with a stranger. Just a thought…