(Closed) Scared to go dress shopping! What is my problem?

posted 8 years ago in Dress
  • poll: Is it rude to go to an Expensive Boutique and try on nice dresses, then buy one cheaper online?
    It's rude and inconsiderate of the sales people's time : (5 votes)
    10 %
    It's fine--free market, baby! : (30 votes)
    58 %
    I wouldn't do it, but I think it's okay : (8 votes)
    15 %
    NOT rude! In fact, I did the same thing! : (9 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 3
    18643 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    The sales people should not be rude or mad at you if you don’t buy the dress right away.  I went to a bridal shop 3 times before choosing my dress and no one was pressuring me to buy.  I didn’t go to an amazingly high end shop, just a normal bridal shop.  Don’t feel guilty.  If they are rude, they don’t deserve anyone’s money anyway.

    Post # 4
    75 posts
    Worker bee

    You shouldn’t feel guilty. I can understand your worries. A good salesperson will not push you into purchasing something beyond your budget or not what you are looking for.

    If anything they should offer ideas and help you select  a style that you ultimately feel comfortable with. I am not saying to go in with the “Bridezilla” attitude but be upfront and advise them you are just beginning the shopping process and need time prior to making a decision. Frankly, if you feel you are not being treated fairly leave! You are not obligated by any means to purchase there because you set foot in their store.

    A wedding gown purchase is important and you should be happy with your final purchase. I do suggest going in knowing what you would like to try on. It can make the experience less stressful.

    Good luck to you!! Hope to see updates on your purchase.


    Post # 5
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Nope….i did this AFTER i bought my dress =]. I wanted my mom to ‘experience’ dress shopping with me so i took her to a fancy place in St. Louis for fun. I didn’t care. I wanted to try on some couture gowns (when else do you get the chance to?!) and see what looked good on me in that couture style. Also, just b/c it’s $5,000 doesn’t mean it looks good! I learned a good lesson that day. Tara Keely and Jim Hjelm and I are not friends!

    I think most brides go to a good handful of salons before tehy settle on one anyways. Especially if you’re new to dress shopping.

    FOr me, it also reaffirmed that my $400 dress was totally worth it because the $5,000 ones looked crappy on me. I left feeling REALLY good about my decision to buy my Maggie when I had flipflopped about “am I too cheap?” after I got it.

    Post # 6
    7152 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I went to a dress shop and tried on dresses…in fact I have been to about 3 or 4 places. I didn’t buy at any of them. I am getting my dress online too. They don’t have to buy the dre, plus they’re salespeople, so they will try to talk you into it. You can get it from wherever you want..it’s your money!

    Post # 7
    1079 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Unlike everyone else I think this is rude. Granted, the sales people should be friendly and polite and not pushy. But you are using their services without any intention of repaying them. It’s fine to go shopping and not find a dress you’re in love with and want to buy. It’s another thing to let them spend a lot of time helping you find the perfect dress, then buy it online. I recommend a consignment shop – that way you are paying the sales people and still getting something affordable. Keep in mind these shops would go out of business if people weren’t buying from them. Also, if you buy local people stay employed and the local economy actually functions.

    Post # 8
    546 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I get a little nervouse around salespeople in general.  I never liked going to look in bridal shops before I was engaged cause I felt weird just looking.  They probably get tons and tons of people though who just look and try on.  They don’t have to know what you plan on doing.  Just say you can’t commit to one right away and need to still look around.  I was lucky and bought my dress the first shop I actually went shopping in (and got a pretty decent deal).  I would love to save money and just buy one online but i’m not very “up to date” on online shopping.

    Post # 9
    665 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I don’t think its rude, but they’ll probably know… lol.

    Why not go to shops that carry gowns that are actually affordable. My area has several boutiques that carry Maggie Sottero, Jasmine, Anjolique, Allure, Casablanca, Essences of Aust., Demetrios, etc…. I mean I hate DB and AA and refuse, but there are many private shops that carry affordable and non commercial designs – and what if you found a gown you loved there? That would be better in the long run… finding a gown you can afford in a boutique where you can get alterations. Go online and check out some affordable gown designers you like and click on “store locator” to find where they carry them in your area. Go check those boutiques out! I mean they don’t carry every design, but its much more practical than going to put on gowns you can’t afford – especially if you feel guilty about it… and you might find something you love!

    Post # 10
    6597 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    If they expect you to BUY a dress your first time out – they are being rude!

    I tried on a sample in TO multiple times/trips and then bought at a salon closer to home in London so that I wouldn’t have to travel for fittings.

    You have to try on the dress before you buy so I would definitely recommend doing what you are thinking about doing!

    Post # 11
    655 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I went to Priscila’s with my mom and was treated very well. We did act like we were seriously in the market but knew she would be making it for me instead.

    What I did to pay it forward was

    a) recommend the boutiques to other brides

    b) when I got emails from the managers, gave glowing reviews of the excellent sales rep. When I told the sales rep over the phone a week later that I wouldn’t be buying the dress, but had given her an excellent review to her manager, she was really appreciative.

    Post # 13
    111 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I had the same plan. I was hoping to find a few designer dresses I liked and purchase a sample or preowned one online. What I found was that many of the gowns I liked in the salons weren’t available on the preowned dress sites since many of those dresses are from past seasons.

    Just be prepared that you may fall in love with a dress that is more than you are willing to pay- and if its from a new collection it may be difficult to find online. I fell for a dress at the vera wang salon and looked all over for a sample or preowned dress to no avail. In the end I purchased the gown at a trunk show and while it was within my budget, it was way more than I thought I would spend for my dress.

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