Post # 1
I’m in a committed relationship of a few years and we have everything planned out. We’ve discussed getting engaged in a year, a long engagement, a traditional wedding and then starting a family.
We set up this time line so we can save up for a nice wedding and a house in California.
Problem is I skipped a few steps, I’m expecting and I have no idea how to tell him.
I don’t feel it’s appropriate to do something cute (like I always imagined) because we’re not married, live with our parents, and it’s not great timing.
My boyfriend/ our parents will never be mean or irrational about it. But I’m stressing on how to tell them.
Any advise on telling your significant other and parents that your pregnant when it may not be received well?
Post # 2
Aw don’t stress yourself too much ☺️ you need to tell him first and then come up with a plan together. You shouldn’t have to deal with this alone, you have a partner! Sometimes (a LOT of times) life doesn’t go as planned so don’t beat yourself up about it. Tell him first, a problem shared is a problem halved!
Post # 3
It’s like ripping off a band-aid, you just gotta do it. And honestly, it’s probably more stressful thinking/worrying about it than actually doing it.
I would tell you boyfriend first, in private. Maybe go for a walk or to dinner. Somewhere you will be alone and then just tell him. And then you aren’t in this alone anymore and it will be easier to figure everything out.
Post # 4
Seeing as you always pictured doing something cute, you could always make a little card for him, saying something along the lines of how life doesn’t always go as planned and it can be scary but you have each other and know you can get through it together. That’s probably what I would do if I got pregnant unexpectedly. You’ll feel so much better once you’ve told him! And you’ve got plenty of time to tell family so no need to worry about that yet. It’ll all work out, it’s not ideal but people get pregnant unexpectedly all the time, you’ll still get married and buy a house eventually it just may not be in the order you originally planned. And once you have your baby in your arms you won’t be able to imagine it any other way 🙂 Good luck!
Post # 5
Congratulations! When I ended up pregnant a couple years ahead of our timeline, I called my SO and said “I’m late” and he was like “For what?” (LOL).
Do not say “We have to talk” because that will freak him out. The next time you are together, sit down with him, make sure it’s quiet so you can talk and focus on one another and tell him “I’m pregnant.” and give him time to be shocked.
If you’re really nervous about his reaction, then tell him over the phone before you see him again so that he has time to digest the information and then you can talk and make plans when you see each other again in person.
Post # 6
lifeisbeeutiful : Thank you, your advise was very helpful. for some odd reason I was imagining doing it on my own.
Post # 7
hikingbride : you’re right I just gotta do it. I’m making myself sick just thinking about it.
Post # 8
laurenkate1 : Aww, the card sounds cute. I’m going to have to do that. Even thought I’m scared I am so excited to go through this and start our family.
Post # 9
TwilightRarity : For what” – that literally made me laugh at loud. I’m going to tell him in person, I want to see his reaction.
fyi youre the first person to congratulate me 😊
Post # 10
lovelydia : Just a little side story, but my brother and his wife were dating from 2013, she was 20 at the time and in 2015 he proposed to her in August and we found out that she was pregnant in September. She was 22 at the time. My parents said that since they wanted to get married, they might as well do it before she has the baby, and they got married that November. At the time both families (parents) were really angry because we come from a very conservative, Christian background, but over time everyone just got over it and was excited for the baby. She was born in April 2016, she’s now 2 and we all absolutely cannot imagine life without her.
It may be a shock in the beginning, but I think everyone will get over it and be excited 💕
Post # 11
You live together with his parents, or your parents? Or do you live separately, he lives with his and you live with yours? If they are putting a roof over your head and you are expecting a baby, the reception might not be as happy as it would be in other scenarios. But you just have to do it, you can sit down and talk to them. I would do that instead of something cute because you are still living at home. Something cute might not go over as well as a conversation.
Something cute won’t convey how seriously you are taking the pregnancy and that you understand that the situation is less than ideal. Sit your bf down and just tell him, then sit down with each set of parents, and tell them too.
Even if it’s tense at first, as time goes on, I’m sure things will improve.
Post # 12
On a personal note, I got pregnant after knowing my now husband for only a few months. The only negativity we received was from extended family. Our parents were supportive and even excited. The negativity was from my side and I just stuck to my guns. We ended up married and very happy together, our daughter will be 3 next month.
Good luck, and once the shock wears off, any hesitancy the parents feel should wear off.
You’re going to be just fine 🙂
Post # 13
I really hope this goes well for you, but have you thought about what you will do / say if he is not onboard? I knoe you say you had plans to start a family in a year or two, but doing it now might not be something he is OK with.
He is allowed to feel like this and you must listen to him, though ultimately any decision is yours.
Post # 14
My (now) husband and I had just decided to break up when I realized I was pregnant. I think I word vomited it out to him and then cried. And then we figured it out- ended up having a gorgeous baby boy- got back together, had a fantastic wedding, and then had another sweet baby girl. So- I guess the moral of the story is, take a deep breath, and share your news. What seems rather, ahem, shocking/terrifying/upsetting at first can very quickly become a wonderful and special time. Congratulations 🙂
Post # 15
Not quite the same BUT I was pregnant with my Fiance and we were so excited but terrified to tell my folks in particular. They are christian pastors and obviously pre-marriage anything is a no-no. I told my sister because we are close.
I ended up having a miscarriage at 7ish weeks, I was working out of town at the time and went to the hospital. I didn’t have my Fiance there, or my sister, being alone really sucked. Turns out my parents were in that same town (also for work) at the time, I was unaware but my sister knew. So she called them, let them know what was going on, and they came and took care of me. I was so worried about their judgement when all they wanted to do was love and support me. I now know their love and support would have been the same regardless of whether or not I carried to term with a healthy baby. They encouraged us to keep trying if that was what we wanted. Tell your boyfriend and family; they may surprise you with how much love they have to offer.