Post # 1
How far in advance were your bridal shower and bachelorette party scheduled? One of my friends is getting married a month before me and has both parties scheduled, so I will be attending those two events, her wedding, and another wedding in May, and so my weekends seem to be filling up already and it’s only January.
I haven’t heard anything from my MOH/BMs asking what dates work for me yet. I don’t care about the specific details, just want to know the date(s) in advance because I am completely type A.
Is it too early for me to worry about this? Should I not say anything and wait to hear from my bridal party?
Post # 3
@pinotgrigio: If it makes you feel any better, I’m stressing about the exact same things! My wedding is in June and I think my parties will be in late April and early May, but the fact that I don’t know certain dates yet is driving me insane! I NEED to write this in my planner! Haha
Post # 4
My BMs scheduled my shower for the Saturday a week before my wedding. I’m not having a bachelorette party, so I think that helped.
Post # 5
It’s way too early, and I wouldn’t ask. i know this is not the answer you want to hear, but honestly, just live your life and make plans like normal (surely you wont literally book yourself up EVERY single weekend between now and your wedding). Pushing your bridal party for plans — even if it’s just so you can mark your calendar – will come off as presumptuous and entitled at worst, and overzealous at best. This stuff should really be entirely on their own initiative with no prompting from you.
Don’t worry, it’ll work out one way or the other. You may even have to decline attending your second cousin’s third birthday party or whatever in order to make your own shower.
Post # 6
Thank you, I need some sense knocked into me! I will try to forget it for now, I’m sure it will work out if I stop worrying!
Post # 7
You should talk to your bridal party and decide what dates work! The sooner the better, it gives everyone time to plan 🙂
Post # 8
My bachelorette was December 28th, because one of my bridesmaids lives about 16+ hours away for school and she was home for the holidays. She really wanted to help plan it with another one of my bridesmaids so we did it super early (my wedding is in June). My shower is planned for May 3rd. Not really sure if that helps at all.. I’m also totally type A and really need to plan/organize things, but I think I would probably wait until February or even early March to ask them about dates unless they bring it up.
ETA: If you’re finding that your weekends are filling up way too fast and it seems like it will limit your shower options then I would bring it up sooner rather than later (:
Post # 9
@pinotgrigio: I kind of disagree with the PP that said not to mention anything. I got together with 2 of my bridesmaids and one of the girls that will be attending my bachelorette party and we looked at the calendar and picked a weekend. Then I texted my other two bridesmaids (who live out of state) to check the weekend with them and that was how we picked the date.
I’m type A too and have a good number of friends getting married around the same time as I am, so my weekends were getting booked up quickly and I wanted to just get something on the calendar. I don’t think it’s over-stepping boundaries, and none of my maids seemed to be upset about me starting the discussion either.
FWIW – my bridal shower is the second weekend in March, my bachelorette the first weekend in April, and I’m getting married the first weekend in May.
Post # 10
It’s not planned as of yet, but both will be scheduled well in advance. We all have busy lives and it’s easier for us to coordinate if we pick dates early on.
The shower will be about 1 month out, and the bachlorette about 2 weeks out.
Post # 11
@pinotgrigio: I feel the same way, I want and have mentioned to my bridesmaids that I want to know when the shower is, but they seem to want to surprise me, which is slightly frustrating because I also work weekends so hopefully they hint or tell me, so I can get the day off, or they talk to my boss.
Post # 12
I disagree with people telling you to wait. We already have the dates planned for my bachelorette party, and believe it or not, it is HARD to coordinate 8-9 women who all have their own lives going on, especially in the summer. I would ask your Maid/Matron of Honor to see if you can at least get a date down (we changed ours 2-3 times before everyone could agree) for it. No need for details, etc. but then people will know and block off that weekend for you!
Post # 13
- Wedding: June 2014 - Fourth Presbyterian Church, Chicago, IL & Cheney Mansion, Oak Park, IL
I’d check with your maid of honor and she can get the ball rolling if you’re concerned about schedules filling up. I’m getting married in June and my shower and bachelorette were picked in August, because they were the times Maid/Matron of Honor Sis would be able to fly in for them. Stepmom’s shower was scheduled in December, and its a good thing, because I have something basically every weekend for six weeks (THREE weddings in May).
Post # 14
I know my Maid/Matron of Honor is planning something, as she has asked me what type of bachelorette I’d like, and has mentioned planning a shower, so I don’t think I will seem presumptuous. I am just a little paranoid that the discussion of dates won’t come up until a lot of weekend dates have been taken up. I guess I will wait a couple more weeks and if nothing has been mentioned I’ll bring it up.
Post # 15
@pinotgrigio: shower is in march and party is the weekend before the wedding (june)
Post # 16
I wouldn’t worry about it too much, My Maid/Matron of Honor (sister) asked me for a guest list for both the shower (last week), and bachorette party (today). One of the bridesmaids secretly shared what dates they are thinking for them with me today, after I pointed out that I would like to know so I can make sure I can get the day off from work, feeling relieved that I know the dates, and trusting that my maids won’t do anything too craxy.