(Closed) Scheduling the wedding around his parents’ drinking

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m sorry you’re going through this.  I, too, have had to make massive changes to accomodate family drama for our wedding… mostly keeping our parents apart from each other.  I have no idea how they will get along and I am most worried about his dad saying something off color to my folks – who won’t put up with it.  We’re not having a rehearsal dinner because we don’t want to deal with it.

I would have an honest discussion with your Fiance and talk about his concerns, and try to come to a happy medium.  I know it sucks because it should be your wedding, together, but I am learning that our families definitely end up changing that dynamic.  🙁

Post # 4
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

It DOES suck.  But it would suck more if you insisted on the time and then your FI’s mom was drunk then, ruining the wedding for him.  In the end, it’s going to be easier to change your wedding time than to cure his mother’s alcoholism.   I’m really sorry you all have to deal with this.

Post # 5
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

1pm in July in TX does not sound like a good idea at all…that’s the hottest time of day!

Post # 6
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m sorry. Maybe 9AM and do a brunch? This doesn’t sound ideal though

Post # 7
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Since its going to be a small wedding anyway I would try to find a compromise on time with your FH. It seems obvious he doesn’t want the later time, he gave you two reasons and whether or not they are logical they are his thoughts on it. How does he feel about the 1:00 time? Or the 9am brunch? I’ve been to a brunch wedding and it was actually pretty cool, and from what I heard waaaay cheaper.

Post # 8
Member
614 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

:-/ that is a bummer. 🙁 I agree 1 pm will be very hot. Our wedding was at 9 am… I woke up at 4 am for my hair. We did it because of when our Honeymoon flight left… but it was hard getting up that early and from 4 am till the wedding we were rushing around. Our wedding was great–so if you are a morning person, that might work.

Post # 9
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

This was just posted on facebook…some brunch wedding inspiration pictures if you decide to do 9am (which IS early, but would keep expenses down).

 

http://www.weddingwindow.com/blog/2011/01/06/a-sunrise-wedding/

You could talk him his family members to see if it would be possible to keep his mother ‘busy’ with non drinking activities during the day…that may or may not work and his family will have the most insight in to that.

Post # 11
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think 9 AM is your best bet. I’m in Dallas and wouldn’t dream of having an outdoor wedding in July at 1 PM OR 6 PM. The sun doesn’t set until 8:30 or 9 during that time of the year, so you have bright hot sun…with the hottest part of the day somewhere around 5 PM.

Hopefully an AM wedding would keep the parents from being too drunk as well. That sounds so frustrating overall!

Post # 12
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Do you HAVE to have it July? Could you push it back to Sept when it might be cooler and you could do a 1 pm wedding?

We had the option between July, Aug & Sept and even at our Sept wedding it was still 80 degrees.

Also perhaps see if you can have them call you if there are any cancellations. If it’s a small wedding you may have more flexiblity with moving dates.

Post # 13
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I agree with you–its completely unreasonble for you to move the wedding because of someones “drinking schedule”.

However, I would recommend changing the time due to the comfort of your guests. I know what venue you’re referring to and I would strongly recommend moving the wedding to 9am and doing a brunch reception. I’ve been to 8pm weddings in Texas during the summer that still are completely miserable. It’s just too damn hot unless you have fans everywhere (which from my understanding, they don’t).

By moving it to 9am, you lessen the chance that people will be drunk and you make your guests more comfortble.

Post # 15
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Unless you have alcoholic parent(s) it’s hard to understand where he is coming from.  My husband and I had to have a lot of talks with parents before the wedding and most still ended up getting trashed.  Not early on but all were definitely drunk at the end of the night.

Is he willing to talk to his Mom about it?  To ask her to hold off on her drinking until the champagne toasts? 

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