Post # 1
Member
20 posts
Newbee
Hey Bees,
This is a vent/rant. It’s more about college than weddings/marriage so if that offends you since this a wedding forum, hit the back button.
Okay, so I started college this year in spring semester (I’m 19) and got enagaged over Christmas break. (I know the whole you’re too young spiel. I got it “too immature, doesn’t know what she’s getting into, it won’t last, I give it six months…” I’ve heard it all. That aside.) I work really hard at school, non-stop, and it does affect time with my Fiance but he completely understands as he is a senior in the same university. He will be a forensic chemist graduating with a 3.5 or higher. I am doing fine in 4 out of my 5 classes. All A’s and one F. This teacher has just bombarded us with work and warned us if we were in Psychology B104 due to her workload and psych’s busy work, we would have to drop one of the two. I didn’t have that option since that would put me at part-time student status and affect my insurance, taxes, scholorships, etc. Normally I can deal with a lot of work in a lot of classes very well. I homeschooled myself through my junior and senior year of high school without a parent through a major university’s program. School is kind of my thing. I’ve talked to other college students, and no one has seen a teacher give this amount of homework and are in utter shock when I show them. Even ones that have taken the same class with a different teachers. Literally, close to five hours per night on a good night. Did I mention its English w131? Basic level. On a side not, if it hadn’t been for math and science in high school, I would have graduated with a 4.0. English is my jam.
Between all that and planning a wedding (which I have done very little to none), I am about to lose it. I was always a great student, but I am absolutely miserable in school right now and have spent countless nights crying like a big baby about it all. (yes, I did just admit that on a thread) We were getting ready to turn in various essays for our midterm when I found out I had been missing online assignments she never told us about. Much to my and most of the class’s bewilderment and rage. I am failing the class no matter what with these assignments, as are 70% of my classmates. It all boils down to I am unhappy. Period. This class is awful, undeniably, but I don’t enjoy anything about college life at all. Even though I get good grades, I am just apathetic about being there. And it’s putting me into a depression. That is affecting my relationship with everyone, most importantly, my fiance.
This leads me to my next thought. I have always been really interested in hair and have people ask me to do it for them quite a bit. I also love talking with people and hearing their stories, etc. Plus it would be pulling in money to the household sooner, and I would be making what I made as my college major. Paul Mitchell has a school close to my current campus. I just applied, but my fiance seems really disappointed in me. He says he knew I could do the college thing, but what if I don’t want to? He said he would support and love me no matter what, however. I’m not one to quit anything, but I don’t want to be miserable. I’m really confused about this, ladies. I feel like I need to suck it up and deal with it, but maybe I’m just not cut out for college…
I really appreciate your comments.
Happy planning, ladies!
Post # 3
Member
2143 posts
Buzzing bee
I don’t know about your school, but in mine you can re-take a certain number of classes and replace the grade. If you can do this, I’d fail the english class, focus on your others, and re-take it next semester with a different professor. Obviously this professor is unreasonable and I hope you have an opportunity to point that out in teacher evaluations.
I urge you not to give up on college quite yet. Things can get a lot better after the first year. That said, having a bachelor’s degree is not the only way to be successful. It doesn’t really even mean the same thing that it used to. If hair dressing is your passion, that’s what you should do. I’m considering going into the cake business which has nothing to do with my psych degree. But I’ll still feel better having a degree to fall back on if that doesn’t work out. So if it’s at all possible I’d try to finish college, but it’s not the only option you have.
Post # 4
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
Don’t give up on college because of 1 bad course! This teacher sounds crazy, but they’re not all like this! It’s very rare for a teacher to flunk a whole class, so unless you feel really behind the rest of your class, your grade will probably be curved to passing by the end of the semester. Even if that isn’t the case, you can re-take the class with a different instructor. You might also want to talk to your department academic advisor for help.
Post # 5
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
The class sounds like it sucks and the professor is being a hard-ass. On the bright side, you’re just getting started. So keep in mind that things really do get better after the gen-eds. Plus, if you do think you want to do something else, you’re not so invested that you can’t do something else. Explore your options, both in the university setting and outside of it.
Post # 6
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
Don’t drop out of college. This is just one crappy professor, not a crappy college experience. Can you take an incomplete and finish it up at a later time or with a different prof? If not, I’d probably take a W rather than have an F factored into my GPA.
Post # 7
Member
20 posts
Newbee
Thanks for the very quick responses!
Unfortunetely, my school requires me to take a class called UCOL (teaches you how to adjust to college and write papers,citations,etc) and its linked with a gen ed class, and that whole thing is called a “learning community”. (only counts as 4 credit hours) Unfortunetely, that gen ed class is English. I have to drop out completely to get away from that class. Trust me. Multiple people have tried it.
On a side note, my fiance knows how upset I am and is trying to cheer me. As a big Will Smith fan. he sent me this. I laughed. So hard.
For your viewing pleasure.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQNiN-9vaCM
Oh, I love him so much.
Post # 8
Member
741 posts
Busy bee
I think you need to put everything into perspective – there is one person who is affecting your college experience, and you can’t base your college experience off of one class. At some point in the future, I am sure you will have to deal with a difficult boss or client so it’s a lesson you might as well learn now while the stakes are relatively low. Usually after the feedback forms given at the end of the semester, teachers like this are normally not kept around. Maybe you can approach the teacher about the the class and how to do better, or file a complaint anonymously with the department. Either way, this person has little pull over your future sucess – you may need to suck it up and deal with a jackass, or retake the class, but how much you let this one person affect you is under your control.
That being said, you need to think long and hard of where you want to be in ten years. Usually I’m not one to pull the age card on people, but I think 19 is too young to limit the career path you choose – sure you can start pulling in money sooner, but your net worth will be less when you are making money at 30 or 40. What is your degree in? I’d start looking into careers which you want to do after college. If English is your thing there are certainly opportunities with an English BA. If you want to be a hairdresser because that’s what you really want to do with your life, more power to you, but I don’t think you should use it as an out on your education quite yet.
I was given great advice today – when you are mad and frustrated, that’s is when you should be and do nice things for your husband.
Post # 9
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
I am currently in college as well but I was struggling at a previous college like yourself. I don’t know your exact major, but what about attending an online college?! I am currently pursuing my bachelors degree for elementary education K-8…. It is the most amazing university ever, I love it.
I was able to plan my wedding, get great grades, have the honeymoon, plus an extra relax week. I love it. It is more of a self paced school but you do have to take the 12 credits to be full time of course, but last term I took 55 credits, and passed them all… it was amazing.
Maybe online is an option to help with the stress. You seem like you could handle the scheduling of your time for the classes, and still pursue whatever your degree is 🙂 If you have ?’s PM me!!
Post # 10
Member
20 posts
Newbee
@MaxToRoss: I’m an elem ed major too! What online university are you in?
Post # 11
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
I am a Special Education P-12 major attending an online university. I have attended a community college and a traditional brick and mortor university, and I can honestly say the online option has been the absolute best for me. I am a 4.0 student, and if you are self-motivated and school oriented, I think it would be a great option for you. You should definitely give alternative routes like this some thought before ruling out the idea all together.
Post # 13
Member
226 posts
Helper bee
@smhonig: Don’t give into this stress!!! I know how you feel… I’m a senior in college and SUPER busy! I’ve been crying like a baby too… So much stress! Guess what?! It’s my Spring Break… and I’m on weddingbee/emailing vendors…lol! I have a few days worth of homework too. It feels overwhelming planning as well as taking on hard classes but do what is right for you…think of school as being temporary and focus on the end results.
I don’t think you should give up.. it’s just 1 class. I have a 4.0 right now and am 3 classes short of graduation but I have failed a class (which made me want to seriously drop out and gave me a ton of anxiety and made me feel like a complete failure) and did grade forgiveness. You can always do that. I’d check with your schools policies and see if that can be done. Usually you can find that INFO at the Registrars office. Retake the class. I swear by ratemyprofessor.com. Amaaaaazing!!
You can do it! Don’t let 1 class bring you down!
Post # 14
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
Girl I feel you. So hard. I’m a non traditional student after failing miserably nearly 10 years ago. I had a class like the one you describe and it was a disaster. The best advice I can tell you right now is that hair school is not worth it, especially because of one class. If you have all A’s in this semester and one F you will have a 3.2 for the semester. Seeing as I started my “freshman” year in spring 10 with a .78 and now have a 3.5–you can make that bad grade up no problem, even if your college doesn’t replace repeated classes and even if you’re not always perfect all the time. Unless you’re headed to grad school, your GPA is not that big of a deal and even THAT can be made up for with a good GRE/MCAT/LSAT/whatever score and a badass CV. I’m constantly convinced that college is going to kick me out and I will live in a box with my cats so I have to constantly remind myself that it will be ok. It will be ok. Don’t be Frenchie.
Talk to your professor NOW about tutoring and help managing your time–it’s midterm, not the last few days of the semester so besides the first few weeks of class, this is the time to ask for help. They may not be able to pass you this go round but they will notice your hard work and will definitely do what they can this time or next time if they have to. Most professors want you to do well but also want you to do the work and learn the material and are not going to arbitrarily pass you. I bet that a weekly or daily visit to this prof’s office hours will help a lot.
If you fail that course, financial aid will let you retake it. So don’t drop it, stay in it and learn as much as you can so when you retake it next semester (take a lot of your easy courses like physical wellness and art appreciation and pre-req maths that you already know at the same time if you can) it’ll be better. You’re not the first person to fail something and have to go back and retake it. I am working in a psych lab *as an undergrad because I am that awesome* and I failed behavioral stats the first time I took it. It happens. The important thing is that you learn from your errors like READ THE SYLLABUS ALL THE TIME KEEP IT IN YOUR BINDER and also if a prof says “don’t take this course with this other course” then LISTEN. You can add/drop for a few days at the start of the semester–you could have dropped that and added something else. It’s too late now for that but you can still get past this.
TLDR: College is scary and horrible but if you ask for help and keep on keeping on, it’ll eventually be ok and also over.
Post # 15
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
Can you talk to the dean about it? This doesn’t seem normal, and I would complain about the professor to a dean if I could. But maybe my university is different… first I would try talking to the professor. I’m almost failing one of my classes so I switched to pass/fail early on and have been working closely with the prof every week. I’m still barely making it (it’s a very advanced and hard statistics class), but I think he’s going to pass me and that’s all I need to graduate.
