(Closed) school or baby?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
568 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@marinewife4:  Coming from someone who is 18 days away from graduating nursing school from University of Iowa, WAIT! I would hold off until you are 8 months from graduating. That way you can be done by the time you have the baby. Nursing school is HARD. You have classes, NCLEX based exams each semester (for most programs), and clinicals. I easily have had 48 hour weeks not including studying. Please hold off!

Post # 33
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m not in a rush to have kids and never really have been. That being said my mother was a young mother and always told me to make sure to go to college and get my degree. I know that my mom loved being a mom, but there was also a part of her that wished that she could have gone to school. Although I never knew this, there were times when my parents really struggled financially, and they wanted to make sure I had the best opportunity I could to take care of myself financially. I decided to pursue and finish my master’s degree as well as teaching credentials. Now that I am finished with school, I have been able to get a great job that I love in special ed. I am looking forward to having children when I am ready, however I made the choice to finish school first, which may not be the path for everyone. Hope this perspective may help you, and good luck with your journey, which ever way it goes 🙂

Post # 34
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee

@marinewife4:  Why can’t you do both? Nursing school is really tough, but I knew plenty of people in the nursing program who were parents or pregnant. Maybe get settled in for the first year, and then plan TTC around your school schedule. You could TTC in the months that would lead you to giving birth either during winter or summer vacation to give you a break. I knew a girl who found out she was pregnant during the end of 1st semester, finished 2nd semester and then took that summer plus the next semester off. She went back for her 3rd semester the next spring. You would just have to work that out with your school. I would definitely do at least a semester before TTC just to make sure you can handle it. I think you definitely need to finish school one way or another because you will probably regret it if you don’t! Nursing is definitely a good career with a high likelihood that you will find a job. If your child is already old enough for daycare by the time you finish then that won’t conflict with your job search. 

Post # 35
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@marinewife4:  I would hold off on babies and go to school.

This is what my guy and I decided we would do. My SO and I are both starting grad school next summer, he will be in a PhD program and Masters for me. That being said, we have decided to wait a long time– like 7 years, and we’re happy with that.

No need to rush to have babies, you have time. Take the time to focus on school and your marriage.

Post # 36
Member
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Reading your follow up posts, since you have concerns, why don’t you make an appointment with your OB/GYN to see if you do have issues. Even if you start TTC at 27/28, if it takes you 2 years, you’d be 30, which is still very young.

Post # 38
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I wouldn’t put off having a baby based off the fact of “you have time.” TTC is not easy for everyone and especially if you already think you might have issues. I started TTC 1 1/2 years ago thinking I would have no issues. I was 24, healthy and already had children from a previous marriage and I now have “unexplained secondary infertility.” 

School will always be there. I feel if you wait, it could be “I just need to graduate first” then it will be “I need to wait until x amount of time where I am working” then something else. You’re already a paramedic, so you have something to fall back on. Plus, babies change our priorities big time. What you think you want 100% now, might not be the same after having a child. 

Post # 39
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@marinewife4:  I’m pregnant and in college! It’s hard some days, but I can do it! I’m also 25 and I couldn’t decide between work and school so Darling Husband said if you want both do both so I did! I have a friend who was in nursing school while pregnant. She said it was sooo hard, but she graduated on time 🙂 Do what feels right. I’m glad I didn’t wait because the thought of not meeting this little boy or girl for another 2 or 3 years is crazy! 🙂 

Post # 40
Member
719 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre

@marinewife4:  I would hold off on having kids until after you are finished your classes, otherwise you’ll have so many responsibilities that it may never happen. Having something to “fall back on” will mean that it’s possible that you won’t ever reach beyond that. 

Post # 41
Member
766 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@marinewife4:  School now. Baby later. If you decide to have a baby first, you might never get back to school. Just my opinion. 

Post # 43
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Vine Street Church

Nursing school was terrifying. Don’t try to make any other major life events during that time. It was seriously a nightmare.

Post # 44
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@marinewife4:  I’m waiting to finish school or be close to finishing as possible.  I’m a fashion major and its costly and time consuming and with a Fiance that works in the kitchen with an unstable schedule it wouldn’t be right for us. We agreed that we want to enjoy 2-3 years of marriage before TTC. so that would put me at 27/28 which isn’t bad to me even tho it seems that everyone is having kids Fiance & I are in no rush.

I have a friend that is doing nursing and its taking a toll on her. She making that 4.0 and she works two part time jobs aswell so it can be done if you really push and stay focus. However I would wait it out or TTC closer to the end of your program. Your young and I get not wanting to wait to long before having kids but alot of women have had healthy pregnancies and babies in there 30s.

Post # 45
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

@littlemisst08:  +100000000000000

Amen! I don’t know what it is, but far too many women are worried about fertility issues at a young age. Yes anything is possible but why borrow trouble? Unless you have a pre existing health problem and a doctor told you that you very likely will have issues, relax. Finish school and be financially secure before bringing a child in to the world. I personally would not want to wait until 38 but just saying my doctor had her first at 38. My aunt had her first healthy baby at 45 and at 47 she is having another. Not saying wait that long, just putting it in perspective. Finish school

Post # 46
Member
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’d finish school before planning a family.  I’d finish school and get my first job, actually, before getting pregnant.  It’s hard to make the transition between baby and schoo land baby and work – you need to go on job interviews post pregnancy (or pregnant – which is basically not going to work, even though it’s illegal to discriminate against pregnant women….well… in practice employers are more hesitant to take the pregnant, the new moms, etc.

And it’s hard to have a large gap in a resume, so that is problematic too.  Plus if there IS a gap, you quickly adjust and fall into stay at home mommy mode.

I know a few friends who had kids in law school and one who had a child in med school.  It is totally doable.  It is GETTING a job after school that is difficult.  Good luck!

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