(Closed) Screaming kids, do you judge the parent?

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 61
Member
3370 posts
Sugar bee

Daizy914:  I have 5 kids and I’ll admit, I do judge, sometimes. For instance, I was behind this lady in line at Target a few weeks ago. One of her kids was pretty well behaved, but the other OMG. He was probably 6 or 7 years old and standing in the part of the cart where a kid is supposed to sit. Then he jumped down and out of instinct I reached out to catch him because, omg, who let’s a kid do that??? Then I remembered it’s not my kid and pulled back. His mother didn’t even bat an eye. Then the kid started whining and crying very loudly because he wanted something. All the mother said was “No, not this time. I’m so sick and tired of you acting like this every time we go some where…blah, blah, blah.” while her 6-7 year old was laying on the floor having a tantrum. I kept my mouth shut, but in my head I couldn’t help but think that all her problems are her own doing.

Like I said, I have 5 kids. Some were born well behaved and others not, but I never just let them act inappropriately in public even as toddlers. If they acted up we left and learned from the beginning that that type of behavior was not acceptable.

Post # 62
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My daughter threw a HUGE tantrum in a grocery store when she was 4… She wanted candy and I said she could have it if she behaved herself. She didn’t, the candy was put back and when we were through the checkout, she realised there was no candy and I explained I had put it back due to her behaviour. WELL!!! She SCREAMED at me, used her words very well ‘I AM SO MAD!!” and bunched her fists and stomped her feet. I stood next to her with a very bored expression and said ‘Let me know when you are finished, and we will go home. This is the reason you don’t get candy’. So she cried and screamed for a good ten minutes. Finally I said ‘Ready to go home now?’ (she was exhausted) and we left.. I remember the tantrum well because it was her very last one.. In fact she has never really gotten in trouble since, and she’s 13 now.. 

I remember some mothers giving me dirty looks but I also had the store staff tell me ‘Well done! We have seen so many mothers cave…’

Post # 63
Member
1472 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I worked as a teacher for a number of years (currently on a break to get my masters) and have also worked for a few years doing support work for children and adults with disabilities.

I never, ever judge a parent for their child throwing a tantrum. It honestly disgusts me that this day in age people don’t consider the fact that a number of children do have disabilities and their behaviour is not reflection whatsoever on their parents. I always find it so amazing how arrogant some people can be “x worked for the kids in our family, so must work across the board for everyone, and if it doesn’t, they are bad”. It seems non-parents are especially good at this (full disclosure, my baby is still on the inside, so I don’t know what it is truly like to parent yet). As my friends and I always joke, the perfect parents are those without kids.

For a lot of children ingnoring the undesirable behavior has a stronger long-term effect than stepping in and disciplining (and this varies from child to child). Whilst I do think that not removing a child from a movie theatre etc isn’t a smart idea, with the exception of family showings, I think this is very different to judging people for having children that don’t meet your expections, even thoguh you don’t know them or the child.

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