Post # 1
I am getting married in September 2013. I am very organized and have started a rough draft seating chart. I have one problem though and I need some BEE help….
I am very close to my grandparents on the father’s side (We are getting married on their 56th wedding anniversary) but I am not close to my mother’s side at all. I am so distant with them that I have considered not even inviting them but it would crush my mom. Now etiquette states that the bride and groom’s parents sit with the grandparents of the bride and groom…the only problem is that I don’t believe that my mother’s parents deserve the honor of sitting with our parents on my wedding day.
Do I sit them with my mom’s sister? Do I sit them near my parent’s table?? …or sit them as close to the door as possible?? (haha had to!)
I probably sound like a cold b**** but they have had nothing to do with my life and when we first got engaged, they didn’t even congratulate me and didn’t even acknowledge my fiance…
Post # 3
Have you asked your Mom how she feels about this?
Post # 4
How many people are you putting at each table? Who do you want to put in those seats closer rather than them? How does your mom feel about it?
That last question would have a big impact on my decision. I think putting them with your mom’s sister (assuming their daughter) would be okay if your mom is okay with it.
But if your mom would be crushed by them not being invited, she might take the seating issue as a slight. And maybe she’d like to spend the evening with them. I think this is not a hill to die on if she has strong feelings on it. You won’t be at the table, so I’d do what makes your mom happy assuming you don’t have to slight someone else (kick out other family from the table that you really care about) to do so.
I have several tables that are pretty close to the head table. Is that an option?
Post # 5
I totally understand how you feel about this. My grandparents have gotten progressively harder to deal with as they’ve aged and have yet to acknowledge my engagment either, and I’m still stuck inviting them. I, too, have roughed out my seating chart, and they’ll be seated with my parents– but only because I don’t want to inflict them on anyone else. My mom actually said, “Gee, thanks for sticking us with G&G.” :p If I were you, I’d ask my mom where she would prefer they be seated and just go with it, since it sounds like they’re only being invited to appease mom anyway.
Post # 6
My mom would probably prefer for them to sit with her but my father and them DO NOT get along, so bad that we actually have to have cop friends keep an eye on them at the wedding to make sure they don’t cause any problems.
I think maybe the best place would be with my mom’s sister (their daughter) and her kids. Maybe at a table somewhat close to my parents.
I was thinking of just having a smaller table with my parents, dad’s parents, fiance’s mom and her bf and fiance’s father and his gf (or whatever she is…whole different topic).
Do I have to introduce them during the reception?? Or just my dad’s parents? We are having a special dance for them since it is their anniversary.
Post # 7
This might be a dumb question, seeing as I’m not quite there yet, but how do you make a seating chart when you don’t know yet who will be able to come?
Post # 8
You really don’t need to worry about this now. A whole lot can change between now and when you NEED to do your seating chart (a few weeks before your wedding). I know its tempting to start thinking about who will sit with whom, but nothing needs to be finalized for a good long time. I suggest taking a few deep breaths and finding another, less stressful project to work on.
Post # 9
I’m having multiple tables with family because my parents are separated and all of my grandparents are divorced and remarried (except for 1). One of my grandfathers has a teenaged daughter (from 2nd marraige) who won’t know anyone else at the wedding. I can’t image a table with my mom, my dad, my mom’s dad and his wife, my mom’s mom, my dad’s dad and his wife and daughter, and my dad’s mom and her husband. Even if I split it into two tables (my dad with his parents, step-parents and half sister, my mom with her parents and step-parent) I think there would still be unnecessary tension. So I’m asking my parents who they want seated with them, and I will probably have each set of grandparents at their own table with a variety of my uncles, aunts, and cousins to fill them up.
Basically, ask your mom who she wants to sit with her and leave it at that.