(Closed) Seating chart vs escort cards

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@kjo:  I need to know the inns and outs of this too. I have no idea what I’m doing yet, and have a million ideas for each but still don’t totally get, what the difference is and how it works.

If that makes sense?

what is the purpose of an escort card, other than to really play up the decor factor?

I get the point of a seating chart.


If we do escort cards, what do they “do” with them …like if I have some really cute Luggage tag ones made up, that says their name and what table they are at, and what seat, do they just tuck them away as a keepsake?



Post # 4
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We used escort cards. We laid them out on the welcome table at the reception. As people signed the guestbook and left their tumbprint on our guest tree, they grabbed their name (organized by table) and used it to find their seats. It worked really well and there was no confusion.

Post # 5
10571 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

@kjo:  What’s usually done in your area, or your circle?  I’ve never been to a wedding with escort cards, and wouldn’t know what to look for.  Most people I know look for a seating chart.

Post # 6
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We are attaching escort cards to the favors since the favor boxes are taking up space anyways. And that way, they all know to take one!

Post # 7
1832 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I did escort cards, but a seating chart never occured to me, either way they both serve the same purpose, getting your wedding guests to their assigned table.

Post # 8
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Escort cards on a table was what I was thinking about doing. I just figured people would either leave them on their dinenr table, put it in their pocket (and thrown away later), or leave them on the table they picked it up from. I’ve only had experience with escort cards so I’m not sure I can imagine a different way. I’ve heard about the tree trend, that sounds cute. I also attended a wedding where they pinned cards to twine between two trees, like a clothesline…we didn’t even take ours down, we just read it and found our table. We are haveing a buffet dinner, not plated.

I’m going to piggy back off your OP to get another question answered if you don’t mind!

I’ve been tossing around the idea of the table being set up in the cocktail area so they can familiarize themselves with their table assignment before we come back out from our photos. I estimate the cocktail time to be 30 minutes. My entire ceremony and venue are outside btw. We wanted to do a receiving line after pictures and that would also be the segway into the meal. Does that sound like a good idea? Also to note, the cocktail area is just around the corner (15 meters) from the reception area. 

Post # 9
1699 posts
Bumble bee

To understand the purpose served by escort cards, you need to start with the essential formal principle of polite social gatherings, that spouses don’t sit together. I know, that’s an unthinkable hardship to the young twenty-first-century wedding-guest. But we formal old-fashioned society mavens are tough that way, so consider what that inviolable rule means: since every lady needs a gentleman to escort her in to dinner, and since no gentleman will be escorting in his own wife, each gentleman needs to receive the name of the lady he WILL be escorting, make her acquaintance, and find out whither to escort her. That’s what an escort card is properly for. It contains the name of the lady (and when there is more than one table it may contain the table number) on a card, which is then inserted into an envelope bearing the name of the gentleman. A footman hands the card to the gentleman as he arrives.

Often, especially when the hostess has a truly formal dinner arrangement with only one table, there will be a seating chart AS WELL as an escort card, since that’s the only way to figure out where on a single formal thirty-eight seat dining table one can find one’s place.

Now, it seems to me the chance that you are using escort cards in their proper role, to introduce each escort to the ladies for whom he is responsible, and since a seating chart is the proper tool for what you really want to do which is show people where they are seated, I’d go with the seating chart. But then, if it were me, I wouldn’t be seating spouses next to each other either and then I would need escort cards in their proper function.

Post # 10
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@aspasia475:  wow that was very informative!


AS much as I would truly enjoy and love to split up all the spouses and really mix it up, so that my guests are forced to make small talk with my other guests. ( Which in turn  would be great fun for me). My wedding will be boring, with friends sitting with friends for the most part and spouses with spouses. 

 This is a great idea for the future , although being that we are a “young crowd” this also may be misnterpreted as possibly being some kinky wife swap thing.


I appreciate you taking the time to educate me on proper escort card usage.  I think this now saves me from creating a faux pas, and some money as well.




The topic ‘Seating chart vs escort cards’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors