(Closed) Seating chart? who sits with who…

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
46677 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It sounds like a great idea, but you also have to consider the needs and comfort of your guests. In that scenario, your work colleagues would likely be left out of the conversation as the two families talked and shared memories.

ps families is spelled correctly in your pic.

Post # 4
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m a total introvert so I would hate this idea. Darling Husband is more of an extrovert but having this arrangement is a guarantee that either Darling Husband and I will only talk to each other the whole time or I will not talk at all the whole time.

Plus, if your family and friends rarely get the chance to get together with each other, they  may welcome the chance to bond at the table rather than mixing and mingling with others. At the tables with our school friends, they rarely get the chance to see each other so weddings are one of those things where they can catch up. 

Post # 5
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I went to a wedding where they mixed up all of the guests, and I thought it was a mistake, ha. I saw my fiance’s placecard down the table and said, “Oh, they must have put him in the wrong spot” and switched him to be next to me. Then I realized that everyone was mixed up, and they wanted all of their friends to meet each other.

The way you plan on doing it seems like it puts your friends and coworkers in a rough situation. Part of the fun of going to a friend’s wedding is seeing all of your other friends! Maybe I’d do some tables with half his family, half yours (if they are people that you think will get along particularly well), but otherwise, you may just end up seating people at tables where they’ll only talk to the people they know.

Post # 6
3276 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Unless you both have very outgoing friends and family, they most likely won’t talk to each other and it can be awkward. Seating chart is already my most dreaded part of wedding planning. But if you think that will work for your guests, go for it, you know them better than us! 

Post # 7
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I just realized I posted without reading your whole post. I just got annoyed at the “no seating chart” idea because I’ve been in that sitaution as a guest and hated it.


To address your specific question…I’m not sure. Many people enjoy coming to weddings to see people they don’t get to see often. I’d be annoyed if I was really looking forward to catching up with cousin so-and-so but was forced to sit next to a stranger with whom I had nothing in common. It’s possible that I would love the stranger and make a new friend, but there’s no guarantee that that will happen. It’s a very cute idea, but realistically I don’t know if people will appreciate it. I’m an introvert so it’d make me anxious to be separated from my family and freinds and be forced to make small talk with strangers.


Maybe have a special dance where you encourage people to partner with someone they don’t know? Or a game? 




Post # 8
7208 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

I think for a lot of people weddings are like mini-family runions. I’d be a little disappointed if I was made to sit with people I didn’t know instead of cousins I usually only get to see a couple times a year. And unless the guests are super outgoing, they’ll most likely just talk to the people they know at the table, which will get boring and/or awkward.

If you have family that hates each other, wouldn’t they just not sit together? Why do you have to have a seating plan?

Post # 9
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Don’t mess with seating assignments. People like to sit with people they know and they aren’t capable of doing this without your help. We went to a wedding one time without seat assignments and everyone was confused and groups got split up.

If you want to do something where they get to meet other people, maybe make sure they sit at the table as little as possible. Do a buffet or stations instead of sit down.  Include lounge areas, cocktail tables, etc so people can move around.

And if you want to do a “total stranger” motif, maybe people bingo. They have to find someone at the wedding who fits different qualities – i.e went to high school with the groom, works with the groom, never met before, etc. first person to get “Bingo” (or their whole sheet filled, what ever you decide) wins a small prize.


Post # 10
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

No. Just no. We just attended a wedding that intentionally sat groups together that had never met before and had nothing in common. I was miserable, and rather furious at the bride for coming up with such a harebrained idea. Your job as a host is to assure that guests have a pleasurable experience, not to use them as some sort of social experiment.

Post # 11
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You’re paying a lot of money to feed these folks a lovely meal. Don’t make them choke it down in awkward silence or rush to get done so they can go talk to people they know.

Post # 12
3718 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@AndysCraftsNmore:  I love this idea, and it works if everyone is local. But if yor aunts haven’t seen each other in months, they’d rather sit with their sister than your coworker. At a wedding of a friend we did mixed tables. We were polite, but Aunt Jean knew the groom in a very different way than I did.

Post # 13
1006 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Every wedding I’ve been to did this- two couples from each family and maybe a kid or a cousin or someone else. I think there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it and I don’t know why the Bees are so against it as long as you DON’T split up couples and as long as the people you seat together have something in common. I see my family members a couple times a year so I don’t mind being seated with SOME people from the other side.

Anyone with decent social skills can handle that arrangement. It’s so weird that all the Bees think it’s terrible- normal adults socialize with people around them! Just don’t split up couples- that’s the worst idea ever.

Post # 14
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

As a guest I’d be a little annoyed if I wasn’t seated next to the people I know and like, and instead I’m with some strangers. While your intentions are good, I don’t think you should force it on people by seating them like that. Put the two tables next to each other and mingling will probably happen naturally. 


Post # 15
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

we mixed tables up – mostly with cousins.  everyone loved getting to know each other and had a great time.  we made sure the tables were pretty much 50/50 from each family though so it wasn’t awkard – we wanted to make sure everyone knew a few people at their table.  Some of our friends got lumped into tables with cousins, etc.  We helped narrow things down by ages of people, too. 




Most of the older adults sat by family/social group.  




It’s a hard thing to plan until you have your numbers in and sit down to do the tables –  we ended up having lots of tables of 9 and it was tough finding a spot for everone! It’s not really something you can arrange in advance of having all your RSVPs.  Our first draft seating plan (before all rsvps were in) looked nothing like what actually went down.




 I’m kind of shocked at other PPs sayiing this would be awkard – I cannot imagine going to a wedding and not getting to know the people at my table! I’ve never been at a table at a wedding where no one talked to each other since they didn’t know them!  I’m not the most extroverted person in the world either, but I’ve been placed at tables alone with no one I knew and had a blast!


 It’s only for 1 hour for dinner – if people hate their seat they can move around after they eat!


Post # 16
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I wouldn’t do it myself. For a lot of guests this is their opportunity to catch up with people they don’t see very often – don’t make it harder for them.

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