(Closed) Seating: Mix it up? OR Sit them with ppl they know well?

posted 5 years ago in Reception
  • poll: What's your seating philosophy?
    Seat people with who they know, they'll be more comfortable that way : (94 votes)
    82 %
    Mix it up, people will be more entertained and make new friends (hopefully) : (1 votes)
    1 %
    A bit of both, Mix except for those few who can't deal socially, give them at least one seat buddy : (19 votes)
    17 %
    Other (explain) : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    130 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    Ohh good question! I’d mix it up just a little bit! I was recently at a wedding where they sat us with everyone we knew (And go to dinners with once a month).. we were so comfortable, we pretty much sat there the entire time… I almost would have liked to mingle a bit more! 🙂

    Post # 4
    199 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @waitingwonderland:  I’ve never been at a wedding where the hosts “mixed up” the social groups for seating.  Unless that’s a thing where you live, people are going to expect to be with people from their group that they know.  You might be overthinking this if you are including factors like education and current aspirations 🙂

    Post # 6
    9954 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Etiquette Snob here… lol

    I have to say out of the 3 you’ve described, I much prefer the last.  And it is more in line with traditional elements where couples were seated side by side, man-woman-man-woman etc.  And Dinner was seen as both a time for those who knew each other as well as those who didn’t to get to chat… A Hostess in her day, would intentionally make up tables with a nice mix of both Oldtimers and Newcomers, in effect introducing her Friends from one social circle to another social circle (His Side to Your Side – Golf Buddies to Tennis Gals etc)

    And in all honestly it is only Dinner… People can sit where and how they choose during the Ceremony and once the Dancing / Partying begins.

    A Wedding is meant to bring together 2 families, so I think that it is a good idea to make some intentional introductions during Dinner.

    Altho personally, I’d also sit some that each couple know well nearby as well.  (Example a Table Top of 8 in my world, would have 2 couples from one world meeting 2 couples from another).  With a long table of 24 it would be more of a challenge, but could be worked out in a Zig-Zag fashion…

    Where Couple A sits across from Couple B, and next to Couple C who sit across from Couple D.

    A and D knew each other before, and B and C knew each other prior as well.

    A C


    B D

    Hope this helps,


    Post # 7
    554 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I think stick people with who they know – as someone who isn’t great socially with strangers, I’d be furious if I went to a wedding & was intentionally sat away from people I knew & could talk to. I’d be miserable & be out of there as soon as humanly possible.

    Maybe if you want people to “mix it up” or mingle etc, maybe do something at cocktail hour (like a casual little game to get people to talk to others they wouldn’t normally talk to) but not something that will potentially make guests uncomfortable for hours.

    Post # 9
    11697 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @This Time Round:  I like her plan!


    Because our wedding is terribly unbalanced (my half is more like 75%) and we have a lot of micro groups as well, I’m planning to mix up my tables of 8 so they’re about half group A and half group B.  Most of our friends are very social people.  Our families will probably sit with as ‘sides’ but I’m not decided yet.

    Post # 10
    2781 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @waitingwonderland:  seat each table with half of his guests and half yours, keeping groups that know eachother together that way they can still get to know someone new but have the comfort of people they know. If I was seated with only strangers I would only be at the tablelong enough to eat then I would be off to find my friends. 

    Post # 11
    9954 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    For the record…

    I VOTED – A BIT OF BOTH, cause that is what would be happening…

    People would be mixed with both folks they knew and those they didn’t

    And granted YES there are going to be some Family situations where you wouldn’t be doing that… such as if you have a table for the Parents (either Both sets at one table with the Officiant & their SO)… OR Parents who are the Hosts at two seperate tables with immediate family members from their respective sides  (Guests of Honour… GrandParents, GodParents, Uncle Bill & Aunt Martha who flew in from Australia… in this situation should also be given priority seating) 

    And of course then there is the Bridal Party.  If there is a Head Table for the Bridal Party, then their SOs / Dates should all be seated in the “general seating” at one table together… if you don’t have a Head Table, then the Bridal Party and their SOs / Dates should be seated as a grouping.

    Hope this helps,


    Post # 12
    12247 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I’m SUPER outgoing, and I would HATE being seated away from my friends!

    Do you remember assigned seating in middle school? And how all your friends were in the class, but you couldn’t talk to any of them, and it sucked?

    Post # 13
    1143 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Is it necessary that you have assigned seating, or could people just sit wherever they want to?

    I know I’d feel a lot more comfortable either sitting with people I know, having as you put it a “seat buddy.” But that is just me, and some people are okay with sitting with people they don’t know than others.

    Post # 14
    7271 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I put people with people they knew. It was hard work organizing the tables but I personally as an introverted shy person would prefer to be seated by people I know. Our tables were a bit segregated (my family, his mom’s family, his dad’s family) but I didn’t feel that was a bad thing.

    ETA: I originally had that I think mixing it up would work fine too. However, I think if possible you should seat people with others that they know. I believe that almost everyone will be more comfortable with that. I don’t like to the idea of mixing it up because you hope that others will make new friends. I would rather be comfortable and talk to people I know as opposed to the host deciding who they think I will get along with.

    Post # 15
    8041 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @BrandNewBride:  +1

    I’m super introverted and I totally agree.

    The topic ‘Seating: Mix it up? OR Sit them with ppl they know well?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors