Post # 1
So I guess I should start with the fact that my dad is dating a girl I went to highschool with and graduatated with. She’s 23. He left my stepmom for her and caused a big ruckus in our family. (I didn’t really know her in highschool though…)
Anyways… we don’t get along. I’ve tried very very hard to. I’ve even taken her out to dinner…She’s just really immature. She wont go to any family function that my sister is at (because my sister was popular in high school (and a few grades a head of her) even though they’ve never spoken one word to each other). Which then means, my dad doesn’t go to any family function where my sister is there. Including my bridal shower. She also speaks very unkindly about my grandma who is one of my favorite people on this earth (she’s also living in one of my grandmas houses rent free). She wont even get out of the car when my dad is there visiting (usually to pick up my little sister (by a different woman) who my grandma watches all day every day and on the weekends). Therefore, I just don’t like her. The thought of her being at my wedding makes me feel vile all over.
However, if I didn’t invite her, my dad wouldn’t go. Now, I don’t care if my dad didn’t go to the wedding. But it upset my grandma, and I’d do anything to make that woman happy.
So now, the girlfriend is demanding to come to the rehearsal even though my sister will be there (she’s co maid of honor with another sister). I’m not sure why she’s coming since she doesn’t have a part in the wedding, but that’s besides the question.I guess she’ll just sit there awkwardly?
Anyways, my dad asked to walk me down the aisle even though I think it’s stupid and I’ve been walking for 20+ years I can give my own self away. We’re also not that close…So he’s supposed to sit in the front or second row with my mom and all the family. Which leaves the question…
Where the heck is the girlfriend supposed to sit? The thought of her sitting as my step mom (who isn’t going out of respect for my dad and family) makes me want to honestly vomit. Also, she isn’t supposed to be escorted in with the moms is she? Does she really have to sit with the family? Or should I just suck it up like I have everything else?
Thanks for the vent hive. I just really hate this situation…
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@lolita39: If dad is divorced rom mom then mom sits in the front row with the immediate family and dad sits in the second row with his girlfriend. She’s 23. Everyone will know exactly what she is to you and your family (dad’s child mistress), and if not, the less you stress out about it, the less anyone else will care about who she is.
Have the usher seat her before the official entrance of your mom (i.e. before the processional music starts.) If she has a problem with that and your dad refuses to attend as a result then that’s his decision which sucks but a real man wouldn’t let his girlfriend abuse his family the way he does.
Post # 4
@beachbride1216: I think you’re right and I need to worry about it less so everyone else does. It’s just the thought of her even being there let alone ushered makes me squeamish. She’s not even the mother of his child, just the crappy deamanding girlfriend who doesn’t work or help with anything.
What would you do about the rehearsal… just let her sit there awkwardly? I shouldn’t try to include her right? …I feel like there’s nothing to include.
Post # 5
I wouldn’t worry about the rehearsal. My husband was the best man in a wedding last year, and I wasn’t in the bridal party. I was of course invited to the rehearsal dinner, so I came along and sat and watched the rehearsal. It wasn’t that awkward because I was friends with the bride and groom, but I didn’t get in the way and it wasn’t a big deal.
Post # 6
Talk about awkward!
It is indeed strange that she spends her time hiding from your fam and then wants to go to the rehersal dinner and wedding. I’d think she wouldn’t show.
I’m sorry you have to deal with this.
Post # 7
Ugh I want to vomit for you!
I also thinks it’s pathetic your dad wouldn’t attend your wedding unless he can parade around his girl (emphasis on girl) friend
Post # 8
She has no role but to sit there and shut her mouth. If she dared to make fuss or if dad makes a fuss, peronally…they could both kick rocks. This is about YOU!
Post # 9
You’re a far better person than I for even inviting her.
Post # 10
@cmbr: That definitely makes me feel better that it wasn’t awkward for you! There might be an aunt who is just sitting around as well…
@Atalanta: It is awkward… especially for my sister who has never spoken to her and yet she hates so much! It’s odd really! I thought she wouldn’t show since she boycotted the bridal shower. I appreciate the support!
@BeeinBoston: I feel the exact same way. Which is why we aren’t very close. I love him because he’s my father, but it doesn’t go beyond that. And LOL @ (girl) friend.
@bklynbridetobe: Thank you for the support! I hope she sits there quietly. I REALLY HOPE she doesn’t try to say anything to my sister. I want a non-violent wedding lol!
Post # 11
@musician32992: Trust me… I did it with a bad taste in my mouth. It’s for my grandma, not him!
Post # 12
@lolita39: I’d stick her at her own table in the corner at the reception, lol. With a placecard marked “Bitch”.
Post # 13
I really don’t have any useful advice because I’m not sure how I would handle this situation. I just wanted to let you know how awesome it is that you are going through this to make your grandma happy.
Post # 14
@musician32992: LOL! We’re using pumpkins as our place card holder. Instead of printing out her name I could just carve “bitch” into her pumpkin and light it up… Oh I wish I could get away with something like that! Hey we can laugh though right?!
@MrsBeck: That means a lot! Thank you!
Post # 15
@lolita39: im sorry but that is where I draw the line. I would not allow this person to sit in the “honor” seats. Screw that. I unerstand you are doing what you can to make your grandma happy but I would honestly have to just really put my foot down about that last one. Rehearsal dinner? whatever. if she wants to come, let her come, I would ignore her and move on. But there is no way in hell my father’s mistress (child mistress btw) would be sitting front or even second or third row with my real family. Im not nearly as nice as you about this kind of thing. I would definitely tell my dad he needs to realize that his actions are the cause for such an awkward situation and that he can deal with the consequences but that he will not be making my wedding day awkward with this nonsense. If it were me, I would think my feelings should come before the feelings of this mistress (at least on my damn wedding day).
Post # 16
Don’t worry about the rehearsal. Lots of rehearsals have stragglers that are SOs of people involved in the wedding. They can sit and watch. No big deal. For the service, I like the solution of putting her and your dad in the second row. She doesn’t need to be escorted. She can be seated just like any other guest, but she goes to a specific seat which is second from the middle in the second row. Then your dad can sit next to her, on the aisle, after her walks you in. And kudos to you for trying to handle this with some class. I can’t even imagine…