(Closed) Seating of the parents and grandparents?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Perhaps ask all involved what they would feel most comfortable doing.  That may make the whole situation much easier to deal with logistically.

Do you and Fiance have any siblings that could walk your respective grandmothers down and assist if they need it due to health issues.  

Is it possible to have a couple of folding chairs placed in the area where you all will be lining up before the walking down the aisle.  Those with health issues would be able to sit there since it can take a while for the processional to get going.

The good news is that every wedding is so different and personal, that you can get away with seating all the VIPs however you would like to and whatever is most comfortable for those invloved and no one can say anthing.  If they do, then clearly they need something else to worry about…feel free to direct them my way as I am a worry wort and could easily find something for them to worry about.  Wink

Post # 4
1652 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I totally understand your predicament.  One of my grandmas (also a widow) is not in the best health, and I worry about her making the long-ish walk during the ceremony (the ceremony is outside, so it’s not just a matter of starting from the lobby of a church and walking 15 yards up to the altar).  For whatever reason, it is a little uncomfortable for me to just ask her about it.  But what I might do first is ask my aunt, who spends the most time with my grandma, what she thinks would be best or what she thinks my grandma might prefer – then she or I could talk to my grandma about it.  I have also considered just nixing the ceremonial seating of the grandparents altogether, and just have the parents in the processional, but am not quite sure I’m at that point yet.

Maybe what you can do is have a talk with your mom about her parents?  She may have some insight into what they would prefer.  And have you talked to your Fiance about how his dad will feel about making an entrance in a wheelchair?  Your Fiance may have a very clear understanding of how his dad would feel in that situation – and if your Fiance isn’t sure, maybe ask him if he’ll talk to his parents about how they’d prefer it to go.  I think in situations like this, you really do need to make sure the people who will be walking up the aisle with all eyes on them, are okay with it, and won’t be embarrassed.

I think that if you do decide to just allow everyone to seat themselves before the ceremony, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, even if you’ve never seen it done before.  But you may still want to make sure you are not hurting any feelings if you do that, since I do think that a lot of people would expect the grandparents to be in that position of honor in the processional, as you pointed out.

As far as the seating of the two widowed grandmothers by ushers, I don’t see any general reason why they would be uncomfortable being escorted by men from your mother’s family whom they’ve never met before – as long as they are introduced before the ceremony begins.  It’s all about families coming together, after all, and as long as your ushers are courteous, I wouldn’t think it was out of line.  But if the ladies are in fact uncomfortable walking with someone they don’t know well, then you should probably just get a sibling or cousin or close family friend from their own families to escort each of them.

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