- 9 years ago
- Wedding: December 2010
OK, I have a new one for you. Recently invited to wedding of daughter of old family friends of my Mother-In-Law from the old country (think Holy Land). Families have known each other for generations; we don’t know the daughter well, but adore and respect the parents for their friendship to our family. Turns out the my husband and I are the only family members in town who are able to attend. Go to the reception at a very posh venue known for its historic significance; highly anticipated night out since we are parents of very small twins, home with a sitter. Arrive at reception, mingle with guests, find our seating, to discover we are in social siberia (and by “Siberia,” where we are seated is in a separate area from the ballroom entirely – we aren’t even part of the party). No big deal; we are in our forties, and this isn’t our first rodeo, so we figure we will roll with it. We, by luck, see parents of a kid in our kid’s sunday school class, seated near us in siberia; when we are expected to start “finding our seats,” we figure, what the hey, no one else is out here but us, so let’s all just sit together. No one else had arrived at our table yet, to even save seats at this point. We seat ourselves; start to settle down to drinks and coversation, and then other people start showing up, looking for their seats. One couple sits; we intro ourselves; couples 3 and 4 show up, and – uh oh, there aren’t enough seats. Ok, like I said, we are grown-ups, so we say, let’s add chairs, we’ll squeeze the extra person in, but 20-something wife of Groomsman (why HE is seated in Siberia would make me question the validity of his groomsmanship), starts quizzing us all on our actual seat assignments. “What table is this? What’s YOUR table number?” “I am SURE the Mother of the Bride worked VERY HARD on this seating chart” and “Where is my friend supposed to sit?” At this point, we are sheepishly rearranging ourselves back to the originally intended formation, and I am saying, “Look, we’ve fixed it, everything is fine.” But Psycho Wife will not let it go. She zeroes on me, and tells me to “Stop being rude” (other than trying to sit with people we might actually enjoy, I wasn’t being), and with that I stand up, and my husband says, get your coat, we are leaving. The evening is irreparably ruined. There is no way we are going to sit with this psycho; yes, I take responsibility (25% at least, since there were four adults in complicity), but, seriously. Whose idea was it to seat us with 25-year-old morons? The mother of the bride actually told us they sat out there to “liven the table up”, so she knew this was a table of duds. Plus, the groomsman and his posse clearly weren’t interested in talking with us; when PW started in on us, they mysteriously disappeared.
Brides, I truly sympathize with the seating arrangement dilemma. But if you don’t have enough room for all your guests at the reception, don’t insult them by seating them in a SEPARATE AREA of the restaurant. Find a venue that will accomodate everyone in the same room. From our seats, not only could we NOT see the bride and groom, we couldn’t even see the BALLROOM. We never even set foot in the ballroom; we stood OUTSIDE the door of the ballroom and watched the first dance like we were puppies with our noses pressed against the window. Very humiliating; we felt like they “had” to find someplace for us to sit. We felt like they didn’t really want us there. Put a little thought into with whom you seat your guests. I can talk to just about anyone, but we felt as though we were thrown into a table that just happened to have two seats open. So, forgive me if I want to sit with someone I actually know and have something in common with. And yes, we did RSVP properly, plenty of time; my Mother-In-Law and SIL even attended a shower for the bride.
We went to the wedding reception truly looking forward to a joyous occasion with old family friends; we left before dinner even started, insulted, harassed, and feeling not wanted. That is a first; in the twenty-plus years of attending weddings, I have never left the reception before dinner was even served, much less without being able to congratulate the bride and groom. Very sad.