(Closed) seating snafu

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

They were totally making a big deal out of nothing. They might’ve just been frustrated by being seated in Siberia though. You never know. I agree with you about this different room business. I think that’s a little rude especially because you couldn’t even see the ballroom. Ridiculous!!!

Post # 4
38 posts
  • Wedding: June 2011

ok, I agree that it’s not perfect to have to sit in a separate room and it’s not typical/ideal.  However, there may have been space constraints or last-minute additions or just poor planning.  I think that by seating the groomsman and wife (who are probably important to the bride/groom) in this area, the couple was trying to make it less like “Siberia” and more like another fun party room.   Not ideal, but probably the best they could do.  A wedding and reception is meant to celebrate the couple, not necessarily to provide perfect entertainment and table companions to the guests.  I don’t think that the couple planned perfectly, but by leaving in the middle and not just being happy for them, you not only missed an opportunity to show that you are happy for them, but also you took up two spaces (albeit in a bad location) that other people could have had.



Post # 5
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@rsax: I reception is not to celebrate the couple.  It is an event hosted by the couple or their family to thank guests for attending the wedding.  It is only recently that this idea that the reception is “for the couple” and the day is “all about the bride” came into being (thanks to the WIC trying to drive up cost).

Post # 7
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

It sounds like the newly married couple picked the wrong couple as their ambassador to siberia.  It could have been handled so much better and been a fun night. 

Post # 8
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ugh! You’ve hit on a sore spot. I have a good friend who was bainshed to Siberia at a wedding and she still brings it up. She, like you, wasn’t even in the room as the dance. It definitely makes guests feel like the B list.

I don’t care what the excuse (poor planning, space constraints) I believe that when you host an event that you should think about your guests comfort. I’m really fed up with the “all about the bride/couple” mentality. I don’t think that excuses the strange things that are done at weddings.

If I had friends over for dinner I’d only invite as many as I have room for at the dining room table. I’d never seat the extra 4 friends at the kitchen table in our breakfast nook.

That groomsman and wife were probably supposed to head that table but obviously their social skills are lacking.

I’ve definitely seen wedding guests turn into tacky fools in the presence of a free meal. I have seen people nearly take out old ladies on the way to the buffet line!

I take all these stories as warnings. In fact, sometimes I’m afraid I’m more concerned with having things nice for my guests than anything else!

Weddings definitely bring out the best and the worst, and often both at the same time 🙂

Post # 9
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Haha I love that you call the other room “Siberia”!

It sounds like to me, they invited everyone who was important to them, and in the interest of inviting them, they sacraficed on keeping all guests in 1 space. So, it was either, cut the guest list or seperate seating arrangements.

I think seperate seating rooms can work only if the second room has a substantial # of people in it, not a tiny fraction of the bigger one. Seperating guests is sometimes unavoidable in older venues or historic mansions.

It sounds like the groomsman and his wife were just upset that they weren’t in the main room- and rightly so! If he was a groomsman, he should be with the rest of the bridal party! But they shouldn’t have taken it out on you!

Post # 10
6350 posts
Bee Keeper

Aww sounds like what could have been a great night went downhill fast 🙁

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